Wales' First Minister describes the reality of being a carer for her mother with Alzheimer's
On International Women's Day we asked the Welsh Labour leader who the most inspiring person in her life is. She selected her mother Elaine Morgan. Her reasons were many but, despite admitting the pair may initially appear different, it was for all the things she taught her to be including as a politician and a mother.
Eluned Morgan has previously spoken about the reason she wanted to enter politics was the open-house policy her parents had at the vicarage where they lived in Ely, Cardiff. She has spoken about how, growing up, the door would be knocked on at all hours by those who needed help – and how many of Labour's most famous faces would be found at their dining table.
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A wife to Reverend Canon Bob Morgan and mother to four Elaine Morgan herself went into politics becoming a councillor in Cardiff. 'We were all part of it, delivering leaflets aged six. We had people coming to our house constantly. It was the headquarters for political activity in the west of Cardiff," the Welsh Labour leader described to WalesOnline in an interview.
But while it is often something credited to her father she says it was her mum who helped deliver that in practical terms. "My mum's always been my greatest supporter and has helped to shape my entire life and certainly the background and the upbringing I had in Ely was, in part, because she was the one who allowed that open house to happen. My dad always gets the glory but she was the one who made it happen – who was cooking for people, who made sure that people felt welcome.
"She could not be more different from me. I think when people meet her they think she's quite mild. She's actually got this inner steel, a strength. That is something I identify with but she's very quietly spoken so in that sense she's very different from me."
As many women find, if they become a mother themselves, it was the arrival of her two children that made Ms Morgan recognise how much her mother did for her and her three siblings. "Becoming a mum makes a difference and makes you recognise how much work it is. The most tiring time I've ever had in my life bar none – and I've had some busy jobs – is the first six months of being a mother. The exhaustion was beyond anything I've ever felt. And to do that four times – hats off to her." For our free daily briefing on the biggest issues facing the nation, sign up to the Wales Matters newsletter here.
Now her mother is 92 and has Alzheimer's. She was able to be at the Senedd for the day her daughter was sworn in as First Minister – something that meant a huge amount to her daughter. She said at the time, in August last year, that it "was a really moving experience for her to be able to do that".
Seven months on she says her mum now has very little recollection of day-to-day life. "She's got very little recognition of what's going on and it's just my time to give back to her," said the First Minister.
It is the circle of life, she acknowledges as we meet in the Senedd chamber, despite the cruelty the disease brings. "It is but it is joyful to be able to give back to, spend quality time with her. Some of it drives me nuts, if I'm honest, particularly me who is going at 100 miles an hour constantly and then you have to slow down to a point of almost stopping. I mean that is really difficult and it is really back to basics and actually quite intimate care now. It is quite challenging but what's lovely is that the glimmer of who she was is still there.
"She's still constantly sharing anything she's got and trying to serve in any way she can. So, you know, we have to leave her some washing up to do so that she feels a sense of purpose and a role. It's really challenging but lovely." She returns to Pembrokeshire every weekend "making sure I spend at least a day with her".
Asked how you balance being First Minister and a carer she said. "I'm only doing what a lot of other women do. Women have to juggle. That's what women have done over the centuries but actually women have to juggle and that's all I'm doing – what thousands of women across this nation are doing."
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