'Literally the King of Darkness and Misery:' Man Spots Kia in Cracker Barrel Parking Lot. Now He Hopes to Never Meet the Driver
TikTok user
@mr.postmanzakk
went viral after spotting an older
Kia
hatchback that made the Cracker Barrel lot where it was parked feel a lot more
metal
. The vehicle's decals left him genuinely concerned about encountering its owner.
"Bro, I hope I never have to meet the dude that owns this Kia," he says with a mix of wonder and real apprehension.
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Judging by the response, viewers are getting some similar vibes. As of this writing, his post has 2.7 million views.
Motor1
contacted mr.postmanzakk for comment. We'll update this if he responds.
The Dark Aesthetic
mr.postmanzakk wasn't intimidated by the Kia's modest performance specs. Rather, the beat-up hatchback has been transformed into a rolling realm of darkness with some strategic decal placement.
Dominating the top of the windshield, red letters spell out "KING OF DARKNESS AND MISERY" flanked by what appears to be demon skulls. Matching skull decals adorn both the driver and passenger side doors, making it look evil from every angle.
But the pièce de résistance is the novelty license plate featuring a skeletal grim reaper figure who looks a lot like heavy metal band
Iron Maiden's iconic 'Eddie' mascot
, complete with "LOCALLY HATED" stamped in red letters, providing an official seal of doom.
"Because I knew a couple bad[expletives] in my day, mostly my cousin Terry. But locally hated, bro. Literally the king of darkness and misery," mr.postmanzakk narrates, referencing the decals while building up the mystique of this mysterious driver.
"So I hope that he does not come out of the Cracker Barrel before I can skedaddle," mr.postmanzakk concludes, clearly planning his escape route.
The Internet's Take
The juxtaposition wasn't lost on viewers—here is a vehicle proclaiming its owner's dark reign parked outside one of America's most wholesome restaurant chains.
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The video triggered hundreds of comments, with many trying to imagine what kind of owner would defile a humble Kia with demonic imagery.
"King of darkness..
gulp
..AND misery?!" commented Angel Perez, capturing many viewers' mock terror.
User "roomba" wrote, "Nah this is a line cook's car," playing up to
work-hard, play-hard stereotypes
about restaurant workers.
Others tried to deflate the mystique, with kelkelcas writing, 'I just know he weighs about 120lbs and wears glasses."
Some commenters honed in on the car's proximity to a beloved family restaurant. "King of Darkness. Cracker Barrel fan," noted Matt, while Sarah observed, "Hey man, even the king of darkness needs a home cooked meal in a rustic country setting."
Others focused on the details, with JonOnTheGo noting, "The tropical air freshener really brings it all together," and Zzzzzxxzzzzzzz declaring, "Locally hated license plate goes hard."
The Psychology of Car Customization
Everyone who has driven in America's suburbs will know that owners often use their vehicles as canvases for personal expression.
While luxury and sports car owners might express personality through performance modifications, economy car owners often turn to visual customization. The most affordable way to do that is with aftermarket decals.
It's not clear whether this Kia owner is genuinely embracing an outsider persona, playfully subverting expectations about what constitutes an intimidating vehicle, or living their best metal life.
Either way, by drawing the attention of millions of TikTok users, the owner proved that sometimes the most mediocre cars have the heaviest vibe.
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