The confluence of JJ's ‘Wasted Love,' the Coldplay kiss cam, and the end of my long-term relationship
Keep up with the latest in + news and politics.
JJ, a.k.a. Johannes Pietsch, is a young gay Austrian-Filipino opera singer who blends classical vocals with electronic dance beats in a way that feels both ancient and painfully modern. In 'Wasted Love,' he sings from a place many of us probably know all too well, of having so much love to give and then, suddenly, no one there to receive it.
'Now that you're gone, all I have is wasted love, this wasted love,' JJ sings.
Is a love that ends wasted love? Or is it something to keep close to your heart so that it is always cherished? And is it the time spent on love, rather than love itself, that's really wasted? Precious time, with precious memories, that get erased when love fizzles out.
There's something else too, something that cuts deeper the more I listen. The song seems to embody the very essence of the relationship I'm mourning. On one hand, there's the soaring elegance of opera, timeless, grounded like a relic. That's me.
And there's a pulsing, contemporary dance beat, youthful, futuristic, boundless. Seventeen years between us. I was the opera. He was the beat. Somehow, for a long time, we made music. But the end now consists of the immense pain of an archetypal tragic opera, 'Wasted, wasted, wasted, wasted, wasted, wasted, wasted, wasted … love,' JJ pleads.
I've been with the love of my life for the last 17 years, with the last couple of years admittedly a question mark. He's still young and building a new life, while I am begrudgingly aging, with some hiccups. I'm 61. I workout gruelingly to stay in shape, and like everyone else my age, I think I look 10 years younger than I am.
But still.
Underneath my optimistic, sunny veneer lies a true fatalist, perpetually convinced that when something is good, it will inevitably be yanked away. I don't know whether it's because my dad died in my arms when I was 12, so there's a consistent fear of abandonment, or because I feel I don't deserve the good things in life. Perhaps it's a combination of both.
Over three years ago, he broke up with me for the first time. Casually, or so it seemed. I was shattered. I attempted suicide. I didn't do that because of him. That's a misconception. I tried it because I too was done with me.
I don't think he ever really came back after that moment. Despite making positive changes in my life since that dark day, I've been in denial. I'm stubbornly clinging to something that's been slowly slipping through my fingers.
He has a new degree, and he's starting a new job and a new life. He deserves it. I, on the other hand, am being pushed to the precipice of the autumn of my life. Am I now a cautionary tale? Older, alone, and staring down the one fear I wrote about when I turned 55, that is, of dying a lonely man?
Throughout my life, I always wanted to get married and have a long life with someone. He never wanted to get married, so I held on to the foolish wish that maybe he'd change his mind.
Coincidence or not, I just launched a book I coauthored about marriage equality. The irony hasn't been lost on me. I was writing about the kind of binding love I craved and never had, and most likely never will.
Last week, a tech CEO famously got caught on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert near Boston with his company's head of HR. They were warmly embracing, and then all hell broke loose. He's married with two kids. He was publicly affectionate with someone other than his wife. I watched the video in agony instead of laughing at it and the memes it generated.
To me, it was awkward, messy, and human. It was also lethal. My thoughts were consumed by who was on the other side of either of those two people. For the CEO, I imagined that his wife would be grieving deeply and agonizingly contemplating the end of their relationship. What a horrible position to be in, realizing it was all falling apart.
That's what it feels like when love leaves you. You don't think about redemption or therapy. You think about the house of cards that is love, tumbling down. 'Love is fleeting' is not an overused axiom. When it's alive, it's Godlike. And when it goes away, it's satanic.
I've been thinking about the kiss cam moment too while listening to 'Wasted Love' on a constant loop. Trying to make sense of it all. Understanding that when love collapses it forces us to face questions we don't want the answers to. Deniability over culpability and compatibility
Were the last 17 years, for me, wasted love? Was I fooling myself, thinking we'd grow old together? Was I so afraid of aging alone that I purposefully missed the signs,or ignored them that love would turn on me? And, was it all just a waste of time? After all is said and done, I'm right back where I started.
Like everyone else who has faced these questions, I don't know what to do next. I don't know how to move forward. 'Now that you're gone, can't fill my heart with wasted love,' JJ sings.
Is love ever truly wasted? Maybe all those years with someone meant something simply because we felt love so deeply that it's impossible to try to make that disappear. Too many photos, too many reminders. Too many 'You have memories to look back on today.' The remembrances are all-encompassing and all-consuming.
That's why it's so tough to let go when you're holding on for dear life.
Heartbreak can make you feel like you're adrift in a vast, cold ocean, unsure of where you will land. "I'm an ocean of love. And you're scared of water. You don′t want to go under. So you let me go under,' JJ relents.
If I've learned anything from JJ's music and my own life, it's that there is power in giving voice to pain. In making beauty from sorrow. In admitting the truth, even when it hurts. Playwrights and screenwriters create comedy and drama about lost love. Musicians sing about it. And I can write about it, and that does provide a speck, albeit only a speck, of solace. But it's something.
Because somewhere out there, someone else is listening to the same song, feeling the same ache. And maybe they'll know they're not alone.
If you or someone you know needs mental health resources and support, please call, text, or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org for 24/7 access to free and confidential services. Trans Lifeline, designed for transgender or gender-nonconforming people, can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The lifeline also provides resources to help with other crises, such as domestic violence situations. The Trevor Project Lifeline, for LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger), can be reached at (866) 488-7386. Users can also access chat services at TheTrevorProject.org/Help or text START to 678678.
Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.
This article originally appeared on Advocate: The confluence of JJ's 'Wasted Love,' the Coldplay kiss cam, and the end of my long-term relationship
Solve the daily Crossword
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Drake at Co-Op Live: Rapper makes triumphant return to Manchester with career-spanning setlist
It's been six years since he last graced the Manchester stage on his 2019 Assassination Vacation tour but Drake came back with a bang last night (July 25). Kicking off the first of FOUR shows in the city at Co-op Live as part of his Some Special Shows 4 U European tour, the five-time Grammy-award winning and multi-platinum rapper bursts on stage with "Gimme A Hug". Wearing a simple blue shirt and brown jeans and greeted by his thousands of adoring fans, he has an important question for them: "Where my Day Ones at?" READ MORE: Drake at Manchester Co-Op Live start and finish times READ MORE: Manchester gets world-first performance of new Drake track as he brings out special guest He's referring to his 2009/2010 listeners and tells them: "Manchester, make some f*****g noise!" as he launches into a nostalgia fest of Marvin's Room, Teenage Fever, Passionfruit and Jungle. "Y'all ready to go? I'm ready to take off!" he shouts, as, on cue, flames shoot up from the stage and he belts out hit track "What Did I Miss?" Headlines is followed by further pyromania as fire cannons go off and Drizzy bounces around the stage and pounds down the runways with enormous energy, not to mention dexterity, as he dances atop the crowd. "I'm just getting started! What do you wanna do? I'm here all night!" he says, launching into Nonstop and No Face. Then, following a raunchy display by female dancers clad in bondage attire, he is joined by fellow Canadian rapper PARTYNEXTDOOR, who he collaborated with on the album $ome $exy $ongs 4 U. The pair take it down a notch to perform lover's lament CN Tower, Something About You, and Die Trying, finishing up with the plaintive Come and See Me. Laugh Now, Cry Later is then followed by God's Plan. "Sing it with me, but sing it like you mean it!" he implores the more than up-for-it crowd, of whom there are some 17,000. In My Feelings precedes the rallying cry of Nice For What, as he addresses the ladies in the audience: "This is for all you ladies who got kids, who got your own place and don't need no m**********n' man!" And to delight the ladies in the crowd, even further, he passes right next to a stunned sea of faces as he casually saunters up the steps to the DJ area and serenades the crowd, just inches away from his adoring fans. "Whatever else is going on in your lives tonight, I want you to forget it", he says, before performing Controlla, Hold On We're Going Home and the smash hit One Dance. Then, back in the heart of the crowd, he performs Girls Want Girls, Fancy and Rich Baby Daddy, his tattooed biceps flexing, to the swoons of his lady fans. It's time for a bit of anti-love now though and he gets the crowd on his side: "I want you to think of the worst exes you have, the worst examples you got on your phone, everything they put you through. I want you to take your m************ finger and put it to the sky." "F**k all your exes!" he roars, before belting out You Broke My Heart. The crowd are then treated to a surprise appearance from British rapper Central Cee, who, sporting a green rucksack, could just have come straight from Piccadilly train station. Back to Drake and the irresistibly catchy Nokia is up next, with cries of "Babygirl" echoing across the arena. In fact, there appears barely a single word to a song that the audience don't know. Yebba's Heartbreak makes for a chilled finale as Drake proudly brandishes a pink bra that a fan has thrown onto the stage. "This is a ten out of ten crowd tonight and it's been a while since I got a bra!" he says. "If there's one thing I love in this life, it's some t*****s!" He then leaves the crowd with a deeper message: "I hope you achieve everything you want", he says. "And remember, you don't get that by being a piece of s**" but by being a good person." "I got my mum in the building tonight!" he then reveals, but mum it seems, is staying schtum, as well as invisible, to the disappointment of the fans. '"I got 17,000 people in Birmingham tonight!" he then shouts, to a somewhat confused crowd, before quickly rescuing his faux-pas with a: "Goodnight Manchester!" And a good night it most definitely has been. In true Manchester style, it might have been drizzling outside tonight but both him, and the stage, were on fire.
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
The Walking Dead star Norman Reedus washes up in a zombie-filled Spain in the first Daryl Dixon season 3 trailer, and it's all a bit Resident Evil 4
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. Daryl and Carol are back. The first full trailer for The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon season 3 has been unveiled at the show's Hall H panel at San Diego Comic-Con 2025, and the new Spanish setting is giving serious Resident Evil 4 vibes. In the trailer, which you can watch above, Daryl (Norman Reedus) and Carol (Melissa McBride) are still en route home, and escape apocalyptic London via boat thanks to Stephen Merchant's 'last Englishman in England', only to wash ashore in Solaz del Mar, Spain, after a storm. Not all is well in the Spanish town, though, with the locals offering up their daughters for trucks full of guns – a barbaric practice that globetrotting righter-of-wrongs Daryl Dixon is perfectly placed to put a stop to. OK, so there's no Dr. Salvador revving up a chainsaw, but there's more than a bit of Leon S. Kennedy's American outsider rolling up on an undead-infested rural Spanish town and taking on its self-appointed 'King' to Daryl Dixon's latest conflict. At the same Hall H panel, cast members Reedus and McBride, alongside producer Scott M. Gimple, and showrunner David Zabel, also announced that the show has been renewed for a fourth and final season, with production set to kick off in Spain later this month. It's been a busy few weeks for Walking Dead news. Earlier this month, Negan and Maggie-centric spin-off The Walking Dead: Dead City was renewed for a third season. Meanwhile, an unscripted horror series called Guts & Glory, from Walking Dead effects wizard Greg Nicotero, where contestants try to survive an 'immersive horror experience full of unexpected challenges,' was also announced at San Diego Comic-Con 2025. The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon season 3 premieres on AMC and AMC+ on September 7 in the US, and releases on September 11 in the UK. For more, check out our guide on how to watch The Walking Dead franchise in order, or our list of the most exciting new TV shows heading our way. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Yahoo
‘Before We Forget' Shines In Its Dreamy Depiction Of Queer First Love
When Juan Pablo Di Pace is asked about the inspirations for his coming-of-age drama 'Before We Forget,' he doesn't cite specific films or directors. Instead, the Argentinean actor, writer and director points to 'Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun,' one of French composer Claude Debussy's most beloved symphonic works, written in 1894 and featured in the movie. 'I'm a huge fan of ballet, opera and classical music, so the structure of the film is quite symphonic,' Di Pace told HuffPost in an interview. 'There's something in the music that's tense and beautiful, and then it gets to a crescendo and it's ecstasy.' Emotions run high in 'Before We Forget,' which expanded to select theaters nationwide Friday after its New York and Los Angeles release earlier this month. The film, which marks Di Pace's screenwriting and feature directorial debut, is a dreamy and wistful take on his real-life experiences with first love and heartbreak. Originally titled 'Duino,' the film follows Matias (played by Santiago Madrussan), an Argentinean student and aspiring filmmaker who enrolls in an arts-focused boarding school in Italy in 1997. Matias soon finds himself enticed by the bravado of Alex (Oscar Morgan), a free-spirited Swedish classmate. After a prank goes awry, Alex gets expelled from school but maintains a long-distance friendship with Matias. When Matias is invited to join Alex and his family for Christmas at their palatial estate, he starts to wonder if his new pal's gestures are indicative of deeper, non-platonic feelings about their relationship. Early reviews of 'Before We Forget' have compared it favorably to the 2017 romantic drama 'Call Me by Your Name,' starring Timothée Chalamet. Scenes in the film also recall Netflix's queer-themed teen series 'Heartstopper,' as well as the lighter half of the 2023 dark comedy 'Saltburn.' Di Pace, best known to U.S. audiences for his role on 'Fuller House' and his stint on 'Dancing with the Stars,' began developing 'Before We Forget' after viewing home videos of his days as a student at United World College of the Adriatic. He teamed up with co-director Andrés Pepe Estrada, a longtime friend, and shot much of the film on location at the school's Trieste, Italy campus. He also appears in the film as the middle-aged Matias, who in the present day is a Buenos Aires movie director struggling to find a satisfying ending for the romantic film he's working on. Matias' adolescent memories are triggered when he receives an unexpected opportunity to return to reunite with Alex (played by August Wittgenstein as an adult) after 25 years. Though Di Pace drew heavily from his lived experience, he hopes viewers won't view 'Before We Forget' solely as an autobiographical endeavor. His willingness to self-reflect, however, is refreshingly relatable and gives the film an intimate charm many of its mainstream predecessors lack. 'This idea of falling in love for the first time at an international school and having a traumatic experience around it, and there being a record of it in VHS felt like the perfect storm ― or, you could say, the perfect mosaic ― by which to build a film,' Di Pace said. Though Madrussan and Morgan turn in nuanced performances, the climax of 'Before We Forget' is a chilling monologue delivered by Argentinean actor Araceli González who, as Matias' mother Roma, reassures her son that she accepts him as his true self without using words like 'gay' or 'queer.' 'If that scene didn't work, the whole movie wouldn't work,' Di Pace said. 'It's something that happened to me with my parents, and I chose to almost replicate what I heard, word by word. I'm very proud of it.' Though Di Pace hasn't turned his back on acting, he's eager to focus heavily on writing and directing moving forward. He's currently at work on two scripts he says are 'completely different' from 'Before We Forget,' including at least one that embraces themes of 'magical realism.' 'I love people, I love human relationships, and I also love clashes of culture and personalities,' he said. As for aspects of LGBTQ+ life he'd like to showcase on-screen, he added, 'I love films that have a very strong queer element, and yet they're about something else. People are so present, so moved, so hungry for these kinds of stories. I'd like the lines to blur and not have it be a niche thing.' Watch the trailer for 'Before We Forget' below. Related... This Tender Gay Drama Has Its Roots In A Real-Life Love Story Lena Dunham's New Netflix Show Is Not 'Girls' — But It Is Drawn From Her Real Life A Gay Writer's Quest For Fame Leads Him To Sex Work In This Steamy New Drama