‘Sexual abuse drove me from the Kirk, now I've found bliss as a shepherd'
A mong the green rolling hills of Perthshire, in a small one room cottage, Helen Percy has found her paradise.
In the nearby fields her flock of Devon and Cornwall longwool sheep graze and around her feet dart four dogs 'of varying degrees of usefulness', while the most recent addition to the menagerie is a duckling newly hatched.
In the hills, a short ride away on Percy's pony, is a small hidden lochan, where she likes to rest by the peaty water. The vista conjures up Psalm 23:2: 'he makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters'.
Helen Percy: 'This is my cathedral, it's where my soul can breathe'
NATHAN BEATTIE
As a former minister in the Church of Scotland, Percy is only too familiar with this passage from scripture. Yet to reach these 'still waters' she first had to battle through misery, pain, abuse and rejection endured within the church.
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The Guardian
3 hours ago
- The Guardian
‘We needed somewhere to mourn': Indian community in London keep vigil for victims
As the late afternoon sun streamed into a small square behind the Indian High Commission on Sunday, a crowd of 200 people gathered for a vigil – one of several held around the UK this weekend to remember those who died in the Air India disaster. Candles were placed beneath a bust of Jawaharlal Nehru and attenders listened to inter-faith leaders and members from the Gujarati community who had come to reflect on a shocking week of loss. Ridhi Sarmah-Kapoor and Olivia Gearson, two students whose fathers had travelled from Gujarat to London recently, laid flowers outside India House in Holborn. 'My dad frequently goes back and forth to India and he uses Air India,' said Sarmah-Kapoor. 'It gives it a personal connection – it's like these people are my family.' Gearson added: 'It needs to be honoured. There were parents coming back for their children's graduation – we're both students, it really hit hard.' Gujarati communities in the capital and other cities including Leicester have been gathering since the crash to commemorate the more than 270 people who died in one of the worst air accidents in Indian history. There have been remarkable stories, such as the Bristol student who missed the flight because she was held up in traffic and the miraculous tale of the sole survivor, Vishwash Kumar Ramesh. But the details of the lives lost – ambitions and hopes extinguished in an instant – all add to the sense of shock among British-Indians. 'We needed somewhere to mourn,' says Mayur Shikotra, who organised the vigil alongside Pranav Bhanot. Bhanot said: 'We're only a small community, many people are only one or two degrees away from the tragedy,. There aren't that many flights that come out of Gujarat directly, so it really could have been anyone. That makes it hit home.' Much has been made of the close-knit nature of the Gujarati community in the UK, a fact that has made the trauma personal for many. Narendra Thakerar was among a group of old school friends with Gujarati backgrounds who decided to come and remember those who lost their lives. 'I've flown three times in the last six months with Air India,' he said. 'It's a tragedy that no one prepares for, it's humbling and just a reminder about how fragile we are.' Bhanot said: 'It's really important that we find out what happened, we need the bodies repatriated and hopefully some compensation for loved ones – it's never going to bring anyone back but it'd be a recognition of what happened and the loss of life.' As well as grief, there was a desire for Boeing, the manufacturer of the aircraft, to be held accountable if it was at fault. 'My first thought is the Boeing 787,' says Thakerar, who is glad the fleet is being inspected by the Indian government after the disaster. Another member of the group, Mahesh Patel, said: 'The problem is when you're dealing with old planes that have been sold and resold and used and used.' There are more than 1,100 787s in service, with most major international airlines using them and its safety record in service has been good. Tata Group bought Air India from the Indian government in 2022 and announced plans last year to revamp and upgrade its fleet. 'None of us want this to happen again so there needs to be a thorough investigation,' Thakerar said.
The Sun
3 hours ago
- The Sun
I can't stop thinking about fling with colleague – but will it ever be more than just sex?
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having steamy sex with a colleague. I think about him from the moment I wake up to the minute I go to sleep, but will it ever develop into something more? We sit opposite one another at work. I'm a woman of 24, he is a couple of years older than me, and very handsome. We're both very professional when we're in the office, but as soon as I saw he'd slid into my DMs, I knew what was coming. We arranged a drink at a nearby bar and he walked me home. It was obvious how we both wanted the evening to end and I took him straight up to my room. Now we meet every week for hot times in bed. It was just sex with no feelings until a couple of weeks ago when I was at a mate's barbecue. A male friend of my colleague was there and he kissed me. News of the kiss got back to my lover and from that moment our situation feels like it has stopped being just casual sex. We talk more, he is much more attentive and wants to know how I am. I know he has a reputation for being a bit of a player and loves his happy-go-lucky lifestyle. Does he want me to think he likes me so he can get what he wants? Or does he want there to be more to us now? I don't want to tackle him as I am worried my intuition might be wrong. He might think I am mad, or too needy for even imagining that he has feelings for me. DEIDRE SAYS: That kiss at the party may have made your colleague realise he cares for you more than he thought. It's impossible to know if your relationship is developing unless you have 'the conversation'. Try not to build it up into a big moment – you can discuss how you both see your arrangement in a relaxed way. A simple 'how do you see us?' would add clarity. You are not being needy by seeking some clarification. If he communicates he doesn't want commitment at all, that is the time to consider what you want. If you're happy keeping it casual that's absolutely fine but if you are falling for him it would be wise to explain that your current arrangement doesn't work for you. Take the sex off the table to limit any more hurt. You'll find out soon enough whether he is willing to lose you to somebody else. DAD-TO-BE WON'T QUIT WEED HABIT DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend has been smoking weed behind my back even though he said he would give up drugs when I became pregnant. I am 25 and he is 26. We have been together for three years. I knew he smoked dope when we first got together and it has always been an issue between us, but he reassured me that if I ever got pregnant he would give it up immediately. We are both excited about the pregnancy. I took him at his word and now feel let down. I can smell it on him, and I know the signs. I know he is lying even though he insists he has stopped. I even asked my parents to talk to him but nothing they say has made any difference. This baby means everything to me and so does he. It feels like we mean so little to him. Why hasn't he changed? Should I tell his parents? DEIDRE SAYS: I'd resist the temptation to tell his parents. Perhaps he is finding stopping harder than he expected. If he really wants to stop using weed, he needs help. It sounds like he has become dependent. He can get support from (0300 123 6600) and my support pack on Drug Worries should also help. Encourage him to go with you to midwife appointments so he understands how health issues affect your unborn baby. LIBIDO IS TOO HIGH FOR WIFE DEAR DEIDRE: WOULD a course of hypnotherapy help me to lower my sex drive? I am 44 and my wife is 41. We have been married for 12 years and have three children. We have a great relationship, but I have a high sex drive whereas my wife never seems to be in the mood. I always get up with the kids, and do plenty around the house to help out. I tell her how great she looks and how much I love her but none of this seems to help. The less sex I get the more I think about it. I am constantly frustrated and usually end up pleasuring myself to relieve the tension but that isn't what I want. I'd love to feel closer to my wife, and not have to rely on sorting myself out. I miss the intimacy sex provides. I was wondering whether hypnotherapy could help. Perhaps if I can lower my sex drive it would be better all round? DEIDRE SAYS: Hypno-therapy is not the answer – better communication around the benefits of a good sex life is. Pick a quiet moment when you are both relaxed and tell your wife how much you miss being intimate with her. You should be able to talk to her about anything. Explain you are worried about her lack of sex drive and you want to support her. A healthy sex life has huge mental health benefits so it's understandable that this has been frustrating you. My support pack Different Sex Drives? explains more. I KEEP HAVING FAMILY FANTASY DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I have a lovely girlfriend, my ex is always on my mind and it is killing me. I am 34 and my girlfriend is 31. I was with my partner for seven years and we have two daughters. We split up almost three years ago. She moved to be nearer her parents, but I have kept up contact with our children and see them as much as I can. Picking up my kids is always tough as it reminds me of happier times. Seeing her regularly unsettles me and although my ex knows I've met someone new, she never seems very happy about it. We have never attempted to get back together but more recently I have been thinking about her more. Sometimes I dream about her and wonder if I'm still in love with her. I even fantasize about what I would do to get back with her. When I am drunk, I really want to get in touch and tell her how I feel but so far I have been able to resist. I miss the daily contact with my daughters. Do I really want to get back with her and love her or is it just because I want to be with my daughters more and want to be a family again? I'm so confused about what I really want. DEIDRE SAYS: Of course it's understandable that seeing your ex when picking up the kids makes you miss her. It can be a reminder of what you have lost – but it doesn't necessarily mean that it would be right to go back to her. You don't know how she feels. Perhaps it's time to discuss whether she would ever try again but don't get your hopes up. If you are to rekindle your relationship, for your girls' sake, you must work out what went wrong to cause you to split up. Consider couple's counselling, you can arrange that via (020 7380 1960). And do the right thing by your current girlfriend, be honest if you do decide to go back to your ex.
Edinburgh Reporter
4 hours ago
- Edinburgh Reporter
Life-saving lessons during Drowning Prevention Week
More than 8,300 youngsters to learn vital water safety skills this June. It's not just about front crawl and backstrokes, Learn to Swim lessons in Edinburgh Leisure are teaching children how to be safer in and around water during this month to mark Drowning Prevention Week as part of a Scotland-wide campaign. From Shetland to the Borders, swimming pools are adapting and transforming their regular swimming lessons into workshops which will focus specifically on water safety knowledge and skills. Swimmers are set to learn the crucial Water Safety Code as well as basic floating techniques which can make a massive difference when someone feels in danger in the water and that could help save their lives or someone else's. The special lessons come as latest figures reveal the ongoing risks around Scotland's waters, the National Water Safety Forum reported that tragically in 2024 there were 33 accidental drownings in Scotland. Drowning prevention is one of the main objectives for the Learn to Swim National Framework and in June each year the programme does a major water safety push to coincide with Drowning Prevention Week, where youngsters take part in a bespoke water safety swim lesson delivered by the leisure trusts and aquatic providers. John Lunn, CEO of Scottish Swimming, said: 'Every June, our Learn to Swim classes shift focus to concentrate on water safety. 'It's not just about being a strong swimmer- understanding how to recognise hazards, help others in distress and make smart decisions around water is equally important.' Peter Farrer, Chief Operating Officer at Scottish Water, added: ''We cannot over-emphasise the importance of water safety all year round, but it's particularly relevant as we approach summer when people are often more likely to be around water. 'These water safety lessons provide an opportunity to equip people with the vital knowledge and skills to help them feel safer in, on and around water, and help their parents and family network feel confident and comfortable in their swimming abilities.' The Learn to Swim National Framework is delivered by 38 leisure trusts and aquatic providers in 167 pools from Shetland to the Borders with the vision of creating 'Generation Swim', a generation of children who are confident, safer and competent swimmers, who will also get to experience the wider health and social benefits that swimming can offer. The programme currently reaches around 82,000 children across Scotland who will have access to a new interactive water safety quiz that has been developed to improve water safety knowledge this year. The Learn to Swim National Framework is committed to creating inclusive, supportive, and quality environments in which individuals can learn to swim regardless of their age, ability or skill level. Drowning Prevention Week, organised by the Royal Life Saving Society (RLSS), stands as one of the largest water safety campaigns in the UK and Ireland. Like this: Like Related
