New party name? Sorry, Jezza, ‘Hamas' is already taken

Telegraph

24-07-2025

Jeremy Corbyn has invited suggestions for what to call his new party, after discovering that ' Hamas ' is already taken. The tortuous process of finding a name for the TBC movement is the most socialist comedy since Marx rang Engels to say he'd found an ingenious way of never having to work again.
Around midday, Jezza posted a statement announcing ' a new kind of political party – one that belongs to you', with a link to 'yourparty.uk'. Zarah Sultana, his partner in crime, then tweeted 'It's not called Your Party!' That's a placeholder. No name yet for a party that 'we're building... together' (like kids with Lego).
Up pops Corbyn on TV. Black shirt. Bifocals. Shouting over the traffic. I WELCOME submissions, he said with an air of annoyance; he's been getting emails at '500 a minute'. The poor man's of a generation that can't distinguish junk mail, and feel they must reply to every single message with 'Thank you but, no, I have not been in an accident that wasn't my fault'.
The name must be 'short and inclusive', he ordered, not long and reactionary like 'Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson'. But how will we be selecting this punchy moniker, comrade? This is a democratic socialist party. One can't just pull it out of a hat!
Well, the website invites visitors to submit their name and address – now it's your turn to get 500 emails a minute – to take part in an 'inaugural conference' at which 'you will decide the party's decision, the model of leadership and the policies'.
Presumably there will be a vote on the voting method? A chorus of committees. A profusion of politburos. 'Sandwich fillings will be decided by a show of hands.' Recall that Corbyn seemed irritated when Sultana announced the party a few weeks ago – bypassing the usual consultation period – and Sultana was apparently miles away when he tweeted the statement. There's only two of them and they still can't get a quorum.
A split looms already. A brutal civil war between Fruit and Nut.
When will the conference happen? Dunno. But there has to be a convention to agree on the date, hence the project is born in a loop of Marxist logic. Can only vote on a name at a conference; can only hold a conference after a vote. Yet the agenda, spelt out on the website, appears pre-written: tax the billionaires, nationalise industries, save the planet. Corbyn's manifesto is Labour's in 2024, except Jezza will actually do it – plus a paragraph on campaigning for 'a free and independent Palestine'.
Once Corbyn was done dividing the Left and blaming the rich, he told the interviewer that his TBC party will be nothing like Reform. 'Reform only offers a message of division and blame. All they do is say that every social problem in our society is somehow or other the fault of extremely vulnerable minorities.'
From what one hears at hard-Left demos, every problem in Britain is the fault of the Jews.