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Late Night Comedians Revel in the Latest Trump-Epstein Development

Late Night Comedians Revel in the Latest Trump-Epstein Development

New York Times24-07-2025
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Quelle Surprise
On Wednesday, it was reported that President Donald Trump had been informed back in May about his name appearing multiple times in the Jeffrey Epstein files.
'But he said he hardly knew the guy!' Stephen Colbert said, feigning surprise.
'You know how they say, 'There's no such thing as bad publicity'? They're not talkin' about this.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'You're best friends with a pedophile for 10 years one time, and the world never forgets it.' — JOSH JOHNSON
'This new reporting is on top of what we learned last night, when CNN's The KFile released new, never-before-published photos of Trump and Epstein. Good job, I guess, but do we really need more evidence that these guys were best buds? [imitating reporter] 'This just in from CNN: Shocker! Frog and Toad are friends.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'[imitating Trump] I mean, I can't believe — I was only friends with him for, what, 15 years?' — SETH MEYERS
'But, yeah, this whole time, Trump already knew he was in the Epstein files, which is a good reminder that if someone's acting guilty, they're probably guilty. No one's ever like, 'Don't look at my browser history — you'll see all the charities I volunteer for!'' — JOSH JOHNSON
The Punchiest Punchlines (The Happy Couple Edition)
'Well, guys, the big story continues to be President Trump's handling of the Epstein files, and now newly uncovered footage shows that Jeffrey Epstein attended Trump's second wedding in 1993. Yeah, it was nice — you had the bride, the groom, the groomer.' — JIMMY FALLON
'And this was odd. At the end of his vows, Trump turned to Epstein and said, ''Till suspicious death do us part.'' — JIMMY FALLON
'O.J. Simpson was also at Trump's wedding. Jeffrey Epstein and O.J. Simpson. Trump's ex-wife was like, 'OK, so in hindsight, maybe there have been a couple red flags there.' Apparently, Jeffrey Dahmer couldn't make it because he had a bar mitzvah that day.' — JIMMY FALLON
'But Rosie O'Donnell was also at the wedding. Honestly, I feel like Trump is more upset that that got out.' — JIMMY FALLON
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