Bullied and ignored

The Star

9 hours ago

WuTHE bystander effect – where individuals are less likely to help when others are present – is silently fuelling a bullying crisis in Malaysian schools.
If left unchallenged, this culture of silence can deepen trauma and leave lasting scars on victims' mental health and self-worth.
Part of the problem, experts say, lies in school culture.
According to Sunway University School of Psychology senior lecturer Dr Wu Shin Ling, up to 70% of students remain silent when witnessing bullying.
'One of the main reasons is the fear of retaliation, where many students fear becoming the next target. This happens often, especially in closed environments like hostels, where escape is difficult,' she told StarEdu.
'Orientation programmes where senior students are permitted to 'educate' or 'toughen up' juniors through humiliation or intimidation are often framed as rites of passage but they can, in reality, perpetuate cycles of fear, silence and harm,' she added.
Wu also highlighted early warning signs such as rigid social cliques, sudden behavioural shifts in once-engaged students, and casual jokes targeting specific identities such as race, gender or appearance.
In some cases, she said, bullying becomes so normalised that students dismiss it as 'just how things are here'.
Lone struggle
For those who endured bullying in silence, the damage can be devastating.
Adieka, now 30, still grapples with the long-term effects of bullying.
'It has affected my mental and emotional well-being,' he said.
Bullied for his naivety and mocked for having an eidetic memory, he felt isolated and overlooked.
'I hoped others could have at least asked what happened and showed some concern,' he shared.
Adieka is not alone in feeling this way.
Stephanie, now 24, recalled being bullied physically and verbally. Her teachers missed the warning signs – withdrawal, silence, and tears in class.
When she finally found the courage to speak up, nothing changed.
'The bullying continued as if my voice didn't matter.
'My peers were too afraid to speak up, and I dreaded going to school. It got so bad I had suicidal thoughts,' she said.
For her, being a bystander is a choice.
'What if it were your own sibling, friend, or someone you cared about being targeted? Would you stay silent?' she asked.
School support
FouziNational Union of the Teaching Profession (NUTP) secretary-general Fouzi Singon said school leadership is crucial in setting the tone for a zero-tolerance approach to bullying.
'When principals and administrators are proactive, transparent and consistent in addressing bullying, they create an environment where staff and students feel supported in speaking up,' he said.
Fouzi pointed to the 'Garis Panduan Pengurusan Salah Laku Buli di Institusi Pendidikan (SPI KPM Bil. 12/2023)' as a key guideline that classifies various forms of bullying as serious misconduct.
He added that beyond policies, programmes like Sekolahku Sejahtera and Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya (PRS) empower students to act as allies and peer supporters.
'The Sekolahku Sejahtera framework provides a conducive platform for schools to integrate anti-bullying messages and encourage students to intervene safely or report incidents,' he noted.
Meanwhile, PRS trains selected student leaders to serve as peer counsellors and mediators, providing a safe outlet for other students to report bullying or seek support.
Collective responsibility
While peer-led initiatives offer critical support, Wu stressed the importance of starting even earlier, as early as primary school – with a focus on empathy and consequences of inaction.
'Cultivating a culture of collective responsibility is important, where every student and educator believes, 'If it's not okay, it's my job to say something,'' she said.
To translate these values into action, both Wu and Fouzi called for clear systems of support – visible teacher intervention, safe reporting channels, and open communication.
They asserted that teachers play a frontline role to encourage positive bystander behaviour among students.
'Classroom discussions, role-playing scenarios, and normalised conversations about social dynamics and power help to empower students to act,' Wu said.
Fouzi suggested integrating social-emotional learning into lessons to help students develop empathy and confidence to stand up for others.
To evaluate impact, he recommended that schools monitor trends through the Sistem Sahsiah Diri Murid portal, assess student feedback on safety and willingness to intervene, and track bystander-led reports.
Ultimately, Wu said students are more likely to speak up when they see that action is taken and confidentiality is respected.
Surviving the scars
I was 13 when I witnessed someone being bullied. A girl was being cornered and mocked by a group of my batchmates. I stepped in and told them to stop.
I didn't realise I had just become their new target.
They spread lies, isolated me, and abused me physically.
One night, they dragged the girl into the dorm's ironing room right in front of me. The worst happened when they attacked me with a hot iron.
They said to the girl, 'Now, watch the person you thought could save you from getting punished.'
I remember the pain and seeing that girl cry, even kneeling, kissing their feet, and begging them to stop. They laughed at how pathetic both of us looked.
It was two of us against eight of them. I wished someone would come, but no one did. There were over 90 girls in the dorm, but no one stood up for me. Even the teachers and wardens didn't believe me.
That moment broke me. I lost all my confidence and started skipping classes. I became suicidal and no longer believed in myself, or anyone else.
I stopped talking and avoided people. I'd collapse from nightmares, exhaustion and fear. Eventually, I had to leave the school but the mental scars stayed.
Years later, I attended therapy to process what had happened. It's a long journey, but I'm trying.
If I could turn back time, I would still choose to stand up for her.
I'm sharing this not to gain sympathy, but to remind people that bullying destroys lives.
That silence can be deadly. And that kindness, just one voice speaking up, can save someone's life.
– Lily*, 31
*Note: Name has been changed to protect the bullying survivor's identity.
In the news
2024
June: Slapped in silence
- A viral video showed a 13-year-old girl being slapped in a school toilet by her two 15-year-old schoolmates in Kerian, Perak, while other students watched silently - some even encouraged the act.
- School authorities formed a committee to investigate the incident; two perpetrators were expelled and four were suspended.
July: No more sweeping it under carpet
- Education Minister Fadhlina Sidek responded to the Kerian incident, stating that investigations and disciplinary action were underway.
- She emphasised that no bullying case should be swept under the carpet and pledged improved handling guidelines in collaboration with schools and police.
November: Cadets expelled, accountability demanded
- Five Universiti Pertahanan Nasional Malaysia cadet officers involved in three separate bullying incidents were expelled and ordered to pay compensation.
- Defence Minister Datuk Seri Mohamed Khaled Nordin stated this was to ensure accountability and deter future incidents.
December: Legal reform and ministry push
- The Dewan Rakyat passed the Penal Code (Amendment) (No. 2) Bill 2024, introducing harsher penalties for bullying and harassment, including:
- Publishing victims' identities causing distress, fear or alarm.
- Provoking self-harm or suicide (up to 10 years of jail, fine or both).
- Education Ministry initiatives:
- Enhanced tracking of misconduct through the Student Discipline System (SSDM).
- Launched the 'Gerakan Kepimpinan Madani: Hentikan Buli' programme to end bullying culture in schools.
2025
January: Former students speak out
- Two former residential school students said they were physically assaulted by their seniors - dunked in water or kicked in the ribs.
- Fadhlina clarified the school was not under her ministry's purview but warned all school leaders to stop covering up bullying cases.
March: 'Push-Up Punishment' in Teluk Intan
- Sixty-two Form Two and Form Four students were reportedly forced to do 200 push-ups by two Form Five seniors, leading to muscle pain and swelling.
April: Mara tightens the reins
- A viral video showed MRSM Form Three boys pinning down and whipping another peer with a belt on a bed.
- Mara chairman Datuk Dr Asyraf Wajdi rolled out anti-bullying initiatives across MRSM schools:
- Special counsellor training
- Regular monitoring
- Direct involvement from the Mara leadership
Example: At an MRSM, the disciplinary committee acted within 24 hours of a bullying report, showing improved responsiveness.
June: Burnt in their sleep
- A Form Two male student who pressed a hot iron on eight sleeping dormitory
mates has been placed at the Henry Gurney School until he turns 17.
Source: Media reports