Suzy Welch wants to help you live a more authentic life

Boston Globe

2 days ago

Suzy Welch's "Becoming You" students get a keychain of values, named by Welch. On the right is "Non Sibi" (Latin for "not for self"), representing a "life-organizing principle of altruism."
Courtesy Suzy Welch
My favorite is
eudemonia
, for the principle of
self-care, recreation, and pleasure.
Welch, a
these 15 values after years of studying academic research, observing how people make choices, and paying attention to what stops them from living the life they want.
No value is good or bad, she says; they're only a problem when we don't acknowledge and live by the ones we care the most about.
'We come loaded with personal values in a certain ranking, and yet, 99.9 percent of us are not fully expressing the values we hold,' said Welch, 65, a Harvard Business School grad, known for her columns, 'Today' show appearances, books such as '
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She began working on 'Becoming You' — a method for figuring out what you're meant to do with yourself — in 2020, not long after the death of her husband
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She was grieving while trying to figure out what was next and what was important to her.
'I was trying to become me. It's the most meta story in the world. … I think this is why, when I see somebody have a 'Becoming You' breakthrough … it's so personal for me. It's like, 'Fellow traveler —
hi
.'
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Welch launched her 'Becoming You' methodology with MBA and
In May, she released a book, 'Becoming You: The Proven Method for Crafting Your Authentic Life and Career.' (She'll talk about the book with CEO of Boston Globe Media Linda Henry at the
Welch wants to reach as many people as possible with 'Becoming You,' which also has a
Later this month, she'll host her first
people like educators, life coaches, and financial planners, who can use the work with their own students and clients.
'People kept on saying to me … can I get certified in this?," Watch said. 'Finally we went to NYU and said, 'Can we set up a certification program? And NYU was wonderful and said 'sure.''
Suzy Welch's "Becoming You" at a local book event.
Aram Boghosian
'There's a whole section in the book about aptitudes and what you're good at. I think there's been a
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As Welch puts it, 'If you're going to live and support yourself, pay the mortgage, and all the other things, you've got to know what you're good at — and your economically viable interests."
There are obstacles, of course. Welch devotes a section of the book to 'The Four Horsemen of Values Destruction,' what she calls the roadblocks that stop us from staying true to what we want. More on that later, too.
Welch happened to be unfurling her 'Becoming You' classes as people came out of COVID lockdown, questioning why they made certain choices. They were introspective and ready to do some work.
As an advice columnist and relationship writer, I'm interested in how and where people find help, whether it's through therapy, books, counseling, coaching, or other avenues.
Suzy Welch lectures during her "Becoming You" seminar at New York University in June, 2024.
Vincent Tullo
After jumping into Welch's work, I did have, as Oprah might say, an
A month ago, I bought a bike. I'd realized, after a few vacations, that I enjoy biking on a safe and scenic path. The other day, I rode my brand new bike in great weather; I felt like I was 6 years old, with no cares in the world.
I was shocked at how free — and
myself
— I felt on this bike.
Later, I felt guilty. Who was I to be running around — on a Wednesday! — on this bike? How dare I not be working or helping my loved ones?
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Welch's book and method had an answer for that. After taking Welch's questionnaire, I learned a big, maybe simple thing: I value free time and fun activities more than I've ever admitted to myself. I would have guessed my one major value was 'workcentrism,' perhaps followed by what she calls 'familycentricism,' but the latter wasn't even in my top five.
Welch said people are often surprised by their results.
'They're staring into the face of something they've been denying or repressing. … The phrase I hear the most is, '
This explains everything
.''
During our interview, Welch told me I might have been lying to myself about prioritizing my family — perhaps in martyr-ish ways — without making me feel like a jerk. She is good at talking about uncomfortable things.
Her style, to me, is a mix of CEO, journalist, influencer, friend, or 'fancy aunt who does not put up with your nonsense.' She shares personal stories and moments when she admits she was a bad mom or scared about her life choices.
I attended two Welch events during her recent visit to Boston, including one at MIT, where she spoke to a mostly student audience, some of whom seemed very freaked out about their career prospects amid federal budget cuts.
Welch was quick to talk about her own mistakes. She quoted 'Moonstruck' and referenced 'The Iliad.' She spoke about waiting out fraught moments in economic and political history, and acknowledged that many people are in one, so they might as well be honest about what they want.
In the audience was Abby Witkin, a longtime Welch fan, who held a copy of '10-10-10,' Welch's guide to decision making.
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Witkin started reading Suzy Welch's columns about business and life in
'I was like, what a perfect thing to do for my birthday — go into a class where you're actually looking at the intersection of all of these [values], and you're trying to find your area of transcendence.'
Witkin said she always knew she really liked work
,
but the program helped her accept that it was OK to love it more than a lot of other things.
'[Suzy] doesn't call it workaholism. It doesn't have a negative connotation.'
I'm still diving into all of this, especially Welch's ideas about those Horsemen that stand in the way of us living our values (my issues are all about a fear of economic instability).
I know this is all very self-helpy, but in Welch's words, she wants us in an area of transcendence.
I get glimmers of it when I'm writing, and absolutely when I'm on that bike.
'Look, you can go through periods of your life where it completely ebbs away from you — because life happens. You get a divorce, you get fired. … But then, if you know this stuff about yourself, and you know what the picture of your authentic life is, you can fight another day,' she said. 'But those moments when you're living authentically — that is when you're very
exquisitely alive, that's your purpose
— and they're worth fighting for. It's worth doing."
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Meredith Goldstein writes the
and hosts the
. She writes about relationships. She can be reached at [e-mail].