Celebrity MasterChef winner Gaurav Khanna speaks about wife Akanksha not wanting children: ‘It's been nine years since our marriage'

Indian Express

4 days ago

Gaurav Khanna recently spoke about not embracing parenthood because his wife, Akanksha Chamola, doesn't want to take the plunge. 'Of course, I love kids. I want to have children, but my wife doesn't want a child. We are very open about it. I love kids, and she doesn't want to bear a child as of now,' Khanna, 43, said.
Adding that he respects her decision,the Celebrity MasterChef winner told Siddharth Kannan, 'I want to respect that decision. It's been nine years since our marriage. She doesn't want kids. I have to respect that decision. If a woman is not ready, then you should not force her. But yes, I love kids. She loves kids, but she has her reasons for not…because absolutely, a mother's frame of mind is absolutely essential for the child. Ma, ma hoti hai yaar (A mother is a mother after all).'
What happens when partners have mismatched ideas about parenthood?
Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and life coach, said that in her experience, she has often seen how deeply this conflict can wound a relationship. 'The refusal to become a parent is never just a surface decision. It often has roots in trauma, medical anxiety, fear of loss of self, unresolved childhood pain, or the simple but powerful truth that not everyone feels ready for motherhood or fatherhood,' said Delnna.
Some fear not being 'enough' as a parent. Some fear losing their identity, autonomy, or emotional freedom. And some have simply made peace with a different version of fulfilment. 'And that is just as valid. This isn't a decision you can compromise on. It demands clarity, compassion, and emotional courage,' said Delnna.
Dr Shorouq Motwani, psychiatrist at Lilavati Hospital, Mumbai, noted that being on the same page about embracing parenthood is important for the couple's emotional well-being and the child's healthy development. 'Parenthood brings major lifestyle changes, responsibilities, and emotional shifts for the couple. If both partners are on the same page, they can support each other better, manage stress properly, and create a thriving environment for the child,' said Dr Motwani.
But here's what she wants every couple in this space to know: You can disagree. You can even grieve. And still move forward with clarity, compassion, and respect.
If you're facing this dilemma, here's what to consider:
Talk before the tipping point: Don't wait until the relationship is under strain. Open the conversation early. Don't just ask 'Do you want kids?'—ask why or why not. This uncovers deeper truths, not just surface answers.
Listen without an agenda: Often, one partner listens only to persuade. But real understanding begins when we listen without trying to fix or convert. Validate their stance. Ask thoughtful questions. Hold space for emotion without rushing it away.
Don't trade resentment for relationship: If one person agrees just to keep the other from leaving, it rarely ends well, said Delnna. 'Parenthood decision made under pressure leads to emotional injury for both the parent and child. Be honest about the cost,' added Delnna.
Consider what else you deeply share: Sometimes, love that can't lead to parenthood can still lead to something beautiful. Building a life around shared growth, creativity, purpose, or even reimagining family in other ways, like adoption, mentorship, nurturing in new forms.
Get support: This is a sacred conversation. Don't have it in isolation. Seek therapy to explore each other's conditioning, fears, and beliefs—so you don't navigate it from pain, but from wisdom. 'Sometimes, individual or couples therapy can provide a safe space to explore these differences with the help of a psychologist,' said Dr Motwani.