Dealing with America's 'Toddler in Chief'

Canada Standard

03-07-2025

The worlds walking on eggshells around a toddler with nukes maybe its time we stopped playing his game, writesMark Beeson.
ONE OF THE FEW good things to come out of the chaos that used to be known as the rules-based international order is that Australia is not alone in attempting to ingratiate itself with theTrumpAdministration. On the contrary,NATOSecretary GeneralMark Ruttehas elevated obsequiousness to new toe-curling heights in an effort towin the approvalof Americas increasingly authoritarian and autocratic leader.
Not only is it demeaning, but its unlikely to succeed. Trump has an ego the size of a planet and no amount of grovelling or fawning will ever be enough. This is a man who gives press conferences while in flight, unable to risk not being the centre of attention under any circumstances. Not only are such events seemingly conducted from toilets, but Secretary of StateMarco Rubiois in there with him, too. Clearly the boss needs an audience for everything.
Political scientistDaniel Dreznerbrilliantly analysed this child-like craving for attention inThe Toddler in Chief. Drezners verdict was that Trumps unfortunate childhood and his troubled relationship with his father made him the greatest example of pervasive developmental delay in American political history.
As protests, scandals and economic chaos close in on home soil, Trump's focus on Iran seems more like a diversion than a defence strategy.
We are all living with the consequences of the most powerful man in the world having the emotional maturity of a three-year-old and thinking that life is a series of battles to be won, in which empathy is a sign of weakness. Even members of his inner circle who are no longer useful areabruptly dispensed witheven if their failure is imminent death or disgrace.
Given Americas still formidable power, as demonstrated by what Trump described as themagnificent machinesthat unilaterally and illegally attacked Iran, the rest of the world needs to find a way of dealing with him. Even though Americans may ultimately be some of the greatest victims of his impulsiveauthoritarian policies, we cannot be sure that their political and judicial system will be able to keep him in check,or even survive (at least) another three years of autocratic rule.
Slapping badly behaved children is rather frowned upon these days, but refusing to play games with them might be worth a try, especially as the next World Cup is scheduled to be played in the U.S., Canada and Mexico in 2026. Given that the Americans dont really understand or like soccer, this takes some explaining in the first place.FIFAs bosses, thinking that playing a winter game in the middle of summer is a good idea, might have something to do withall that moneysloshing around in football these days, of course.
I realise that, as legendary Liverpool managerBill Shanklypointed out, football is actually more important than life and death, but we could put the fate of the planet ahead of our personal preferences for once. Why not boycott the event,at least those bits staged in the U.S.? Wed have a good excuse, too: Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.) would probably arrest all the South American teams as possibly illegal immigrants anyway.
More positively, we could try incentivising Donald to do something useful in the world. Hes obviously very keen to get theNobel Peace Prize, so why dont we promise to give it to him if he really follows through on his promise to stop the war in Ukraine and the slaughter in Gaza? In the unlikely event that he managed to do it, I dont think there could be any real objection. After all, no one else has even come close.
Trumps reckless strike on Iran has unleashed chaos, emboldened Israel, and brought the world closer to a catastrophic new war.
Once peace has broken out, we might even try to persuade Trump to turn his mind to the environment. I know this is a bit unlikely and hed face much stiffer opposition from Americasfossil fuel companiesthan he would from Russia or Israel, but what if we suggested starting a petition and sending it to the Vatican recommending him for beatification if he does something serious about averting the looming climate catastrophe?
It's worth remembering that Trump thinksGod spared himfrom assassination, and that hes now on adivinely inspired mission.
Trump also gave God a specialshout-outfor His help at the press conference announcing the Iran attack:
If thats not an expression of sincere religiosity, its hard to know what is. Who knows, given that the new Popes another Yank, he might even get the nod from God, too.
Mark Beesonis an adjunct professor at the University of Technology Sydney and Griffith University. He was previously Professor of International Politics at the University of Western Australia.
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