I had the dream husband for 4 years but one day something clicked & I realised I was a lesbian – my life was a lie

The Irish Sun

20-05-2025

A WOMAN has revealed how she left her "dream" husband, house and career behind when she realised she was gay and found new love - just like Pitch Perfect's Anna Camp.
Lauren Burgess, 39, thought she had the perfect life until stress led her to therapy which led her to realise she was a lesbian.
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Lauren Burgess was married to husband Matt for four years
Credit: SWNS:South West News Service
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Lauren left her 'dream husband' in 2021, but later met her now-partner Anna Sartoris in 2023 and fell in love
Credit: SWNS
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Pitch Perfect's Anna Camp's relationship with Jade Whipkey is her first public relationship with a woman
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Anna most notable relationship was with Pitch Perfect co-star Skylar Astin
Credit: Getty - Contributor
In February 2021 she took the plunge and left her husband, Matt, 42, after four years of
marriage
to travel the West coast of America in a van with her dog, Ted, a Goldendoodle.
The
business
and wealth strategist from Joshua Tree,
California
, met Amanda Sartoris, 35, a strength and conditioning coach from Venice, through a mutual friend in January 2023, and fell in love.
Lauren remains on good terms with her ex-husband, Matt, 42, a financial consultant from Englewood,
Colorado
- but is focusing on her new life with her girlfriend.
Pitch Perfect actress Anna Camp was seen passionately kissing her girlfriend Jade Whipkey for the first time since their love affair was revealed, this week.
More on relationships
Camp was previously married to her Pitch Perfect co-star Skylar Astin, but they separated in 2019 less than three years after the wedding.
"It was so hard, but Matt was supportive and understanding," said Lauren.
"It felt very selfish, and I had a lot to grieve.
She added: "Matt is an amazing person and I still have a lot of care there for him.
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"It's been really hard, but I had to follow my dreams."
Lauren had thought she was genuinely happy in her life until she came down with chronic hives in April 2018.
I always thought I fancied men then became a lesbian at 33 - strangers think my girlfriend's my MUM but it's true love
"I would go to bed every night grateful and content," she said.
"I had a home and a job I was passionate about, but I worked very long hours which caused me to come in hives.
"I was in and out of hospital until my therapist told me I needed to drop something to get better."
When Covid hit in March 2020 Lauren found herself becoming depressed.
"I could hardly get out of bed," she said.
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Lauren remains on good terms with her ex-husband Matt but is focusing on her new life with her girlfriend
Credit: SWNS
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She had previously experimented with women in college but thought it was 'just a bit of fun'
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"Matt and I started having
marriage
therapy and we discussed travelling.
"But all of a sudden he changed his mind and had the confidence to tell me that it wasn't what he wanted."
Lauren decided that it was something she still wanted to pursue, and she bought a van on Craigslist to travel 'for a couple of weeks'.
She had "experimented" with women in college but thought it was "just a bit of fun."
"I'd been seeing a lot of people of social media taking about their sexuality and I began to realise that I might be bisexual," she said.
"But on the trip it all clicked and I realised I was definitely gay.
"It all made sense.
"I knew I had to go back to my husband and talk about getting a
divorce
."
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The couple met in California and ended up meeting up for coffee
Credit: SWNS
Lauren separated from Matt in February 2021 and took her belongings and went travelling along the West Coast of America ending up in Joshua Tree,
California
.
She met Amanda in Venice Beach, California.
"We had both just recently moved to Venice," Lauren explained.
"We ended up meeting for coffee and kept running into each other and eventually just ended up hitting things off and spent every moment we could out surfing and eventually fell in love."
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Lauren says she and Amanda are prioritising their careers - but they have talked about having kids
Credit: SWNS
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Lauren thought she might be bisexual but has discovered she is a lesbian
Credit: SWNS
After a year, the couple traveled down through Baja
Mexico
in a van, until the heat forced them to head back.
Lauren returned to Joshua Tree and Amanda to Venice, but they've made their long-distance relationship work through compromise.
"We spend part of our time up here, part of our time down in Venice, surfing, working, that whole thing," she said.
Lauren and Matt "stay in touch and co-parent" their dog, Ted.
As for children, Lauren says she and Amanda are prioritising their careers - but they have talked about it.
She said: "We've definitely talked about starting a family in the
future
and growing a family life by the beach."
She added: "I thought I was living the life of my dreams before but now I really am."
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The two women make their long-distance relationship work through compromise
Credit: SWNS
Top dating trends of 2025
Swamping:
When you find someone you can comfortably share your 'swamp' with and let go of the pressure to be anything but your true authentic self.
No-habiting:
When you choose to wait longer to move in with your partner because you value your personal space.
Fiscal Attraction:
When you won't settle for less and you're seeking a match who is financially secure and who you find attractive.
Rejuve-dating:
When you cast away the blues and grow from past experiences so you can fully embrace the future of your dating journey.
Thrift-matised:
When you like to go on dates but hit that sweet spot between being cheap and frugal. Hidden gems, loyalty cards - these are all your type on paper.
Loud-dating:
Cutting to the chase, being open and to the point with what you want so you don't waste your time.
Marmalading:
When you literally put your other half 'before anything else', much like Britain's most beloved bear's love for marmalade.
Digital Ex-pression:
The stage after a break-up when you are done grieving and turn to social media to share how you are healing to confidently get back out on the dating scene.
Fine-wining:
Proactively finding people to date who are older than you and who've aged just like a fine wine.