‘The chef described an explicit sex dream he had about me to the whole staff'

Telegraph

19-02-2025

Picture a professional chef. Not the showy, bish-bash-bosh, celebrity kind, but one you might see in a real restaurant kitchen. The likelihood is, you have a sweaty, sweary lout, or an uptight perfectionist in mind. What do they have in common? They're probably a man. And here lies the hospitality industry's great big problem – one that's pushed Britain's under-represented female chefs so far that they are demanding to be heard.
In an open letter obtained exclusively by The Telegraph (below), 70 women condemn the sexism and inequality they have faced working in the UK's restaurant industry. Written in response to a Jason Atherton interview published this week by The Times, in which the owner of 16 restaurants denies having witnessed sexism in kitchens, the women share that they are 'exhausted by an industry so systematically flawed that we struggle to see ourselves within it.'
Citing sexism which continues to 'diminish the potential and contributions of countless talented women', the letter goes on to address how this culture impacts the wider industry, which contributes £18.76 billion to the UK economy. 'From inappropriate comments and behaviours to unequal opportunities for advancement, these experiences hinder not only individual careers, but the growth and innovation of our industry as a whole.'
Spearheaded by London-based chefs, Sally Abé of The Pem, and Dara Klein of Tiella, the call to action began with a link posted in a WhatsApp community created 18 months ago, designed to facilitate conversations between female chefs. 'When I shared [ The Times ] article to the group, it really hit a nerve,' says Abé. This, on top of outrage caused by a video shown at last week's Michelin Guide awards ceremony, which appeared to praise female chefs despite awarding only one woman a Michelin star, pushed those in the group to outrage. 'Just because you've not experienced something, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist,' says Abé. 'It's insulting and painful. It's so hard to speak out because there are so many powerful male chefs that you daren't speak against. But now, luckily, there are 70 women in this WhatsApp group who are all pissed off and annoyed at what he said. This feels like our #MeToo movement, in some way.'
As well as inspiring the open letter, the group's collective upset has encouraged many women to share the traumatic experiences they've endured in the workplace – many of which involve severe sexual harassment. For Hannah Rose Hall, who currently works at The Pearl in Manchester, at one point in her career, it was constant. 'The most invasive and repeated instance was where a male member of staff used to stand behind me in my tiny section during service 'waiting for the microwave'. This meant that he would be pressed against me whilst I tried to do my job. When I told him to wait somewhere else it was often met with jeering and became a joke.'
Meanwhile, Anna Søgaard, behind Danish pop-up, Jomfru, and female-focussed supper club series, Suppher, recounts an allegedly common occurrence. 'Like so many women in kitchens, I experienced sexual harassment as a young apprentice before I had found my voice. I was put on the hot section after shadowing and training to be ready to progress. The sous chef at the time was on the pass and was instructed to give the head chef, who was off that day, feedback on how I had done. At the start of service as I bent down to pick up a stack of plates, he grabbed me inappropriately which threw me completely and made me mess up. He then told the head chef I wasn't ready to progress to the hot section. I never explained what had happened. At the time I was the only woman in the kitchen, and sadly I was scared that saying something would make me seem dramatic.'
Chef and author, Poppy O'Toole, who boasts a combined following of six million social media followers thanks to her cooking videos, says she's experienced sexual harassment throughout her career. 'A particular low point that led me to leave a job was when a chef-owner proceeded to tell the entirely male kitchen about a sex dream he had about me, going into explicit detail, while the rest of my team either stayed quiet or laughed along.' Despite this, at the time O'Toole was relieved it wasn't more severe. 'It sounds stupid to say, but as a younger chef I would always feel thankful that it only went as far as sexual propositions and [my boss] grabbing my behind on one occasion – at a public event in front of his wife. I'd always think 'at least it wasn't that bad.' It was always made into a non-issue if I raised it with other members of the team. There was, quite honestly, no-one you could go to.'
@poppycooks Things you're told as a female chef in a male dominated industry (all based on things I've been told in my career so far) 👩‍🍳 #ChooseToChallenge ♬ original sound - Poppy O'Toole
For one of the letter's key instigators, Dara Klein, a particular boss's lewd comments made her day-to-day environment unbearable. 'In one restaurant – a highly respected favourite in London – the head chef-owner told me I 'gave him a great boner', referring to a steak I had cooked him. The same man also told me to grab 'a nice thick girthy one' when referring to a block of cheese, adding 'because you know what that's like, Dara.''
What's more, anonymously, one female chef recounts an incident whereby, 'my sous chef pressed me up against a corner as he was correcting me on my mise en place and asked me if I could feel his d--k on my leg.' Meanwhile, for another, 'the boys I worked with made a bet on who would get to have sex with me first.' And one woman was told 'the way to check a custard tart was to compare it to the wobble of an 18-year-old's breast.' Many of the 70 women who signed the open letter asked to remain anonymous for fear of the professional repercussions that could come with speaking out on the issue.
As a gay woman, Alice Bowyer, a director at the Butcombe Group, was expected to join in when women were made the butt of her colleagues's jokes. 'I've had to put up with so much 'banter' and pretend to laugh at sexist behaviour just to be accepted. I think male colleagues saw that as me being happy to hear about women being sexualised at work.'
Of course, not all sexism is sexual. 'I've been told that I was only promoted because the head chef fancied me, and that I'll never get a serious job in fine dining after the age of 25 because employers will just think I want a baby and maternity leave,' says O'Toole. Meanwhile, Klein feels it held her back. 'At one point, I worked in a kitchen surrounded by men. Their progression seemed to always get fast-tracked whereas it seemed I was constantly under a microscopic lens.'
Helen Graham, previously executive chef at London's Bubala, felt the impact. 'At most jobs – from being told I need to 'man up' after buckling under the exhaustion of a 70-hour week when I first started, to being pushed around by a male superior in the walk-in fridge, and told 'I'll never make it' because I 'can't handle it'.'
Plus, apparently, we customers are often the ones to blame. Harriet Mansell, founder of West Country restaurant concepts, Robin Wylde and Lilac, has found herself constantly having to convince guests that she is the head chef and owner of her sites. 'I've lost count of the number of people who have said 'When's the chef coming out?'' Meanwhile, a similar experience had by chef consultant, Jane Alty, was actually televised. ' Masterchef interviewed a contestant who was working part time at my newly opened restaurant, who came second. The interview was aired on TV and the editing made it look like he owned my restaurant. For a year and half I had guests asking for the 'head chef' so they could tell him how much they enjoyed their meal. It was also printed in a well-known restaurant guide that he was the head chef at the time.'
The good news? Many of the 70 signatories are now in leadership positions, changing restaurant culture from the ground up. 'I let a chef go mainly because he held very sexist and toxic views,' says Sam Evans, co-founder of Hang Fire BBQ. 'He'd call male chefs of any rank 'chef' and female chefs – some more senior to him – 'cook'. He'd also ask the female chefs to make him coffee or undertake prep he thought was menial. We gifted him his P45 quite quickly.' And chef-patron of London's Apricity, Chantelle Nicholson, says 'I will make a significant change, because I can… Now, we have a predominantly female team, with all four senior chefs being female.'
While the rest of the industry plays catch up, Abé encourages all chefs to join the conversation. 'There is no better time to speak out. There is no better time to say 'Let's stop with the pale, male and stale,' and move into a new world where everybody has a chance.'
The open letter:
To all those who benefit from the joys of dining out,
We are a group of 70 female chefs and hospitality workers, and we need you to know that we are tired. Exhausted by an industry so systematically flawed that we struggle to see ourselves within it.
This week, we find ourselves outraged by Jason Atherton's interview in The Times in which he appears to deny ever having witnessed sexism within his kitchens – a statement which we know, with absolute certainty, is not true. This, on top of last week's pitiful representation of women at the UK's Michelin awards, means that we can no longer sit in silence.
We write to you with a sense of urgency, hope, and determination in a bid to change the narrative which denies our experiences and talents. Our kitchens, dining rooms, and bars are the beating hearts of an industry that brings joy, comfort, and connection to countless lives. Yet, within these spaces, we face issues that must be addressed to create a more inclusive, equitable and positive work environment for all.
Sexism has been and remains a pervasive issue in our industry, shaping the culture of our kitchens in ways that diminish the potential and contributions of countless talented women. From inappropriate comments and behaviours to unequal opportunities for advancement, these experiences hinder not only individual careers, but the growth and innovation of our industry as a whole.
The lack of diversity celebrated within prestigious awards bodies such as Michelin and 50 Best is a reflection of broader systemic issues of privilege and racism. Over the past four years, only two women have been awarded Michelin stars. This is by no means representative of the female talent within the industry. We must confront these biases and work actively to create opportunities for chefs and hospitality workers from all backgrounds. Diversity is not just a goal; it is a source of strength, creativity, and resilience. By embracing and celebrating diverse voices, we enrich our culinary landscape, allowing us to freely interact with our customers and friends without barriers. In our view, the only way to do this is by rectifying the lack of women and people of colour in leadership roles, who can understand, cultivate and support talent at all levels through mentorship, training programs, and equitable hiring practices.
Moreover, we continue to be frustrated by separate awards categories for women. This does not foster true equality. By placing women in another category, we perpetuate the notion that their achievements are different or lesser. True recognition must be based on merit alone, and we urge award committees to eliminate these separate categories and celebrate excellence in all its forms, without distinction based on gender.
It's no secret that our industry faces significant challenges, from economic pressures to changing consumer expectations. To weather these difficulties, we must futureproof our industry by creating inclusive and positive work environments, ensuring they have the tools and opportunities to thrive.
We acknowledge that positive changes are already happening, thanks to the efforts of some dedicated individuals and allies. We celebrate these achievements and recognise those who stand with us in advocating for equality and diversity.
However, today we call on our colleagues of all genders to challenge and dismantle the harmful practices we're highlighting. We implore you to help us to create a brighter, more inclusive future for our industry, because respect, equality, and support must be the foundation of every kitchen.
In solidarity,
The 70