Jill Halfpenny opens up about the challenges of life as an actress - as she admits being out of work makes her feel 'pointless'

Daily Mail​

3 days ago

Jill Halfpenny has opened up about the challenges of being an actress - and how long periods out of work make her feel 'pointless'.
The Strictly Come Dancing winner, 49, who recently starred in Channel 5 drama The Feud, said as she gets older the lack of structure in an actor's life has gotten harder.
And Jill admitted that she's quick to warn up and coming performers about the dark days of being out of work.
'When ever anyone asks me for advice about being an actor, I always say, "How to do you operate in your downtime", because they are the most challenging times,' she said.
'The work when it arrives is easy, but it's when you're in your own head, going, "I'm so pointless". I literally need to put points in my day to make me feel that there's a point to me being here today.'
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The Byker Grove star continued: 'When I am out of work and I've been out of work so much in my career, I've had long spells when I am not doing anything and I realise that I like structure, for my day to be punctuated with certain things.
'I really struggle, maybe now more than ever with just waking up and my boyfriend will say, "So what have you got on today."
'In my head I am saying "Nothing, absolutely nothing." I have to give myself structure and its mentally hard.'
Speaking on Sophie Ellis Bextor's Spinning Plates podcast, the Geordie actress revealed that she sometimes envies her friend with their so called, normal jobs.
'Some of my friends don't like their jobs and they'll say, "Oh I've got an 8.30am meeting and it's with a person I hate and I've got a two hour meeting with them".
'And I find myself thinking, "I wish I had a meeting with someone I didn't like" because at least it would be something and I'd have something to whinge about, like "Oh that meeting was dreadful."
'But no, there's nothing to say, you're out of work, never knowing if you'll work again. You have the faith and think, logically something will come up, but there are no facts there.'
TV favourite Jill has come through a tragic time following the death of her partner Matt James, who collapsed at his local gym from a heart attack in 2017, aged just 43.
The terrible event was especially triggering for the star, who had been through the trauma of losing her own father to sudden heart failure after he died playing football when Jill was only 4 years old.
Writing in her recent Memoir, A life Reimagined, she spoke about how the aftershock of her father's death led to a period of unprocessed grief in her 20s.
She said: 'I realised a lot of my behaviour was down to this unprocessed grief. I got divorced, I stopped drinking alcohol and then it all seemed so clear – the jigsaw pieces fit.'
But then when she was forced to go through a season of grief in her 40s, she now feels that she emerged, a 'better person.'
'Grief has made me a better person. Processing the grief has softened me and I've become less judgemental about myself. I am my own worst critic, but I have got better,' she said.
Now Jill, who is based in Newcastle, has found love again with marketing executive Ian McAllister and the pair recently enjoyed a romantic trip to Paris together.
In her memoir she said: She said: 'For the first time since Matt died, I have met someone and fallen in love.
'The relationship has helped me understand the importance of all the work I have done before I met him.
'I can allow myself to be happy and in love without feeling any guilt. I can be vulnerable and scared and understand where it's coming from.
'I can be free and open, allowing myself to be seen without fear of abandonment.
Jill was previously married to actor Craig Conway from 2007 until 2010 and together they are parents to 17-year-old son Harvey.