5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected
When you get upset or someone embarrasses you, it can be hard to respond in a healthy way. Being emotionally intelligent when someone disrespects you might be the last thing on your mind. It's totally fair to feel hurt or angry, for example, and to react quickly in a way you later regret.At the same time, practicing emotionally intelligent habits and saying emotionally intelligent phrases has benefits. For example, a 2024 study in The Canadian Veterinary Journal reported that high levels of emotional intelligence can lead to lower levels of stress and higher rates of positive emotional states, such as happiness, and are associated with healthier coping skills.You may also want to have more emotional quotient for your partner because you know you struggle with anger management, or for your career, because you want to handle work situations more effectively. Whatever your reason is, we're sharing five things emotionally intelligent people do when they're and what to do if you struggle to respond to situations in healthy ways.Related:
What Being Disrespected Can Look Like
Disrespect has many different looks. While it isn't always obvious or even purposeful, the ramifications it can have are real.'Disrespect can be both intentional or thoughtless, but either way, it leaves an emotional mark,' says, a psychologist and the author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt.He shares some common examples:
Interrupting or talking over someone; this implies that their thoughts aren't important.
Sarcasm or condescension, which is often masked criticism or superiority.
Dismissiveness, such as ignoring ideas, feelings or contributions; this includes nonverbals, like eye-rolling.
Public criticism, like undermining someone in front of others.
Invasion of boundaries, whether they're personal, emotional or time-related boundaries.
Related: 8 Genius Phrases To Shut Down Rude Comments, According to Psychologists
What Being 'Emotionally Intelligent' Means
When you think of 'intelligence,' you may picture people like Steve Jobs or your class valedictorian. But what does 'intelligence' mean in an emotion-focused sense?Dr. Cohen says emotional intelligence is the ability to:
Recognize, understand and manage or regulate your emotions.
Recognize and influence the emotions of others.
Navigate social situations with empathy, self-awareness and tact.
'Emotionally intelligent people don't just react,' he continues. 'They respond in ways that reflect clarity, control and compassion, even under stress and conflict.'Related:If You Use These 3 Phrases, You Have Higher Emotional Intelligence Than Most, Psychologists Say
5 Things an Emotionally Intelligent Person Does When Someone Disrespects Them, According to a Psychologist
Now, let's combine the two concepts so you can reap the benefits of emotional intelligence mentioned earlier.
1. Emotionally intelligent people pause before reacting
Rather than responding impulsively—perhaps in an angry or mean way they'd regret—they take a few seconds to breathe, calm down and process the situation. When they do speak up, Dr. Cohen says they may ask a question like, 'Can you clarify what you meant by that?' or 'That sounded quite disrespectful. Did you mean to say what you just said?'What responses like this do, he explains, is allow the other person to reflect on their words, save face and apologize or restate more respectfully. 'If the person says the demeaning phrase again, calmly walk away and say nothing,' Dr. Cohen adds.
2. They don't take everything personally
An emotionally intelligent person realizes that people say things they don't mean or that are born from other situations. They also understand that disrespectful behavior says more about the other person, Dr. Cohen says, so they don't internalize the negativity.He gives an example: 'If a colleague snaps at them in a meeting, they might think, 'This isn't about me—it might be about their stress,' which helps them stay grounded.'
3. They set clear boundaries
Rather than retaliate, like saying something rude back, an emotionally intelligent person asserts their needs with clarity and respect, Dr. Cohen says, teaching the other person to treat them with calm communication. ''I'm happy to discuss this, but I'd like to keep it respectful,' sets a tone without escalating tension,' he adds.Related: 35 Phrases To Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly, According to Mental Health Pros
4. They address problems at the right time
Again, emotionally intelligent people take a beat. They know when it's the best time to address a concern to keep the situation civil. 'Instead of confronting them in the heat of the moment, or ignoring it altogether, they pick a moment when both parties are calm,' Dr. Cohen clarifies. At that point, he continues, they may say something like, 'Earlier, I felt dismissed when my idea was brushed aside. Can we talk about that?'
5. They let go when it's not worth it
Here's a hard but true reminder from Dr. Cohen: 'Not every slight deserves a reaction.' Emotionally intelligent people keep this in mind (at least most of the time), and they 'weigh whether speaking up will serve a greater purpose or just drain energy.' For example, he says, they may choose to walk away from a stranger's rude comment to preserve their peace.
What To Do if You Struggle To Respond in Emotionally Intelligent Ways
Taking those steps and saying those phrases is easier said than done, so if you have concerns, know you're not alone. No one will be able to respond that way perfectly, every time—even emotionally intelligent people. If and when you struggle, Dr. Cohen says the following can help:
Practicing self-awareness, like naming the emotion to create space between the feeling and acting on it.
Using the '24-hour rule,' AKA waiting a day to respond.
Role-playing your response or writing it out to help you organize your thoughts and reduce emotional intensity.
Seeking feedback, coaching or therapy from a trusted friend, parent or therapist to identify patterns and practice healthier responses.
Last but not least, don't forget that it's okay to start small. 'You don't have to get it perfect,' Dr. Cohen says. 'Your confidence will come with repetition and practice.'Up Next:Source:
Dr. Harry Cohen, PhD, a psychologist and the author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt
5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected first appeared on Parade on Aug 19, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 19, 2025, where it first appeared.
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