How one voice shattered the shameful silence on clerical abuse: ‘You don't know what happened there. You haven't the foggiest... You don't know the hurt'
The funeral of Michael O'Brien heard how his courage illuminated a path for others to speak out
Today at 21:30
When Mary Raftery's groundbreaking 1999 RTÉ series States of Fear aired, one line, narrated by Áine Lawlor, stood out. 'So far, only a fraction of the potential damage caused to children by these paedophiles is even known about.'
That stripping of reverential titles from those inflicting harm on children and referring to them as they behaved instead was important — to the victims who needed to be heard, and to the public, who needed to understand that no longer could we place on pedestals mortal men and women with divine calling, who behaved abysmally.
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Irish Examiner
7 hours ago
- Irish Examiner
Gareth O'Callaghan: A woman's house should be a home – not a place of fear and fatal control
A wise man in criminal law once told me that a defendant who has pleaded not guilty to a crime he knows he committed fears nothing more during his trial than the eyes of the judge. Perhaps that explains why Richard Satchwell rarely looked up at the bench during the trial that found him guilty of the murder of his wife. A chilling silence descended on the packed courtroom at the Central Criminal Court last Wednesday morning just as Mr Justice Paul McDermott handed down the mandatory life sentence to the former lorry driver. I wondered what Satchwell must have been thinking as he kept his head bowed – if he felt remorse; then I realised that a man who had hidden his wife's body for six years in a secret grave he dug under the stairs of their home, while courting national publicity in an attempt to convince people he loved her, and would give anything to welcome her home, was emotionally stunted. His only regret was that he got caught. Did he love his wife? It's possible. Love is just one ingredient that feeds into a narcissistic relationship, and the coercive control he exerted on their marriage. Richard Satchwell leaving the District Court in Cashel, Co Tipperary, in October 2023. Did he love his wife? It's possible. Love is just one ingredient that feeds into a narcissistic relationship, and the coercive control he exerted on their marriage. File picture It's not the type of love most decent people understand. It's a love perverted that stems from slavish ownership, with terms and conditions that become more brutal as time passes. Sexual jealousy, anger and control are a deadly cocktail. Self-absorbed and selfish, Satchwell now takes his place in that rogues' gallery of notorious wife killers who include, among others, Joe O'Reilly, Brian Kearney, and Eamonn Lillis. O'Reilly murdered his wife Rachel in 2004 by bludgeoning her to death with a dumbbell, while staging it to look like she had disturbed a burglar who panicked and killed her. His appearance on The Late Late Show, sitting beside Rachel's mother, as he suggested 'theories' to an incredulous Pat Kenny on who could have murdered his wife, was a jaw-dropping moment in television history. Joe O'Reilly's (right) appearance on The Late Late Show, sitting beside Rachel's mother (left), as he suggested 'theories' to an incredulous Pat Kenny on who could have murdered his wife, was a jaw-dropping moment in television history. File picture: RTÉ/Rose Callaly He even showed journalists down the dimly-lit hallway to the bedroom in their home where he had murdered his wife barely three weeks earlier, as though it was a magical mystery tour. Her murder was meticulously planned, or so he thought. Siobhán McLaughlin was murdered by her husband Brian Kearney in 2006, while her three-year-old son played downstairs. Kearney strangled his wife in her bedroom with the flex of a vacuum cleaner, before trying to hoist her over the en-suite door in an attempt to make it look like suicide. He then locked the bedroom door, slipped the key under it, and left, leaving the three-year-old alone in the house. Siobhán was in the process of 'trying to leave a very unhappy marriage' when Kearney murdered her, her sister Brighid told Newstalk. She had even taken to hiding money in the hot press so that she could eventually escape from her husband's abuse. Kearney was refused parole last year. Eamonn Lillis beat his wife, Celine Cawley, to death with a brick in 2008, making it appear – like O'Reilly – as though she had disturbed a burglar. Following his release in 2015, Lillis picked up more than €1 million from his share of business and property assets owned by the couple. He served barely five years for the manslaughter of his wife. He now lives abroad. What's equally damning is that the attacker in each of these killings could have stopped his vicious assault and called for immediate help while his victim was alive, but didn't. In Lillis's case, he delayed calling an ambulance by almost 15 minutes to give him time to change out of his bloodied clothes and hide them. Following his release in 2015, Eamonn Lillis picked up more than €1 million from his share of business and property assets owned by the couple. Photo: Julien Behal/PA So if they loved them, then why did they kill them? Why not just call it quits and walk away? Why would a husband kill his wife when the chances of avoiding a conviction and prison sentence are massively stacked against him? According to recent statistics from Women's Aid, 275 women have died violently in Ireland at the hands of men since 1996 – an average of nine women every year. 87% were killed by a man they knew. 179 of them were killed in their own homes. Lucy Freeman, the American writer best known for her articles on psychiatry and mental health in The New York Times, once wrote: 'Murder is the apex of megalomania, the ultimate in control.' Her words resonate with relationships that are hinged on coercive control, where the man demands to know his female partner's whereabouts at all times, where social connections to family and friends are discouraged, where freedom of movement is restricted. Years of research has shown that it's mostly inadequate men with fragile egos who kill women. They hate their own vulnerability, which can only be overcome by the subordination of others – mostly their wives and female partners. Sarah, the partner of a close friend, agreed to talk to me recently about her former husband who she eventually left after years of physical and emotional abuse, including a threat to her life that finally made her realise he might kill her. 'It was only in hindsight, when I'd left him and it was all over, I realised I'd lost contact with everyone. If my mother asked us over, he'd always find an excuse. "'We're not going,' he'd tell me. He wouldn't allow me socialise with them. He refused to give me money, even though I paid all the bills out of my own wages. If I walked the dog, he'd follow me. 'Anytime I disagreed with him, or if I tried to defend myself, I'd get the silent treatment for days. Then he'd force me to say sorry. Whenever he hit me or kicked me, he'd pretend to be upset and apologise. 'Why don't you hit me back? You'll feel better,' he'd say. "Some days I came home from work to find he'd emptied the fridge of the little treats I liked; then he'd tell me I'd eaten them – 'because you're a fat pig,' he'd say laughing. 'One day I overheard him saying to someone on the phone that he'd kill me, if only he could get away with it. I packed what I could and went back home to my mother.' Richard Satchwell now takes his place in Ireland's rogues' gallery of notorious wife killers. File picture I asked Sarah if she had ever told him she would leave him. 'It was all I thought about but I was terrified to tell him. I actually thought he'd kill me on the spot. I left in the middle of the night when I knew he was asleep.' Research shows the time of highest risk for a potential victim is during the period where she has made it known she plans to end the marriage. That's almost always the trigger for the abuser because the person they have so successfully controlled for years is now choosing to leave them. Richard Satchwell told gardaí his wife had 'mentioned 200 or 300 times over the previous 15 years' that she was going to leave him, but, as with the rest of this tragic story, we only have his word for this. Even after leaving her abuser, a woman is still not safe – as the tragic case of Australian Hannah Clarke showed in 2020. Clarke was stalked by her former partner Rowan Baxter, who doused her and their three children in petrol and burnt them to death in the family car before killing himself. It's hard to believe that the family home is the most dangerous place in the world for women (and children), when it should be the safest. It's far more effective to disrupt violent male partners than it is to change them. That disruption can only come from family or friends who detect a shift in behaviour. If you're being shut out by someone you love, you have a duty to them to know why. A strong indicator that all's not well in the life of your daughter – or your sister or friend – is that persistent feeling you get that something is just not right. Act on it. At least you'll always know you asked. If you don't, it could be the cross you'll bear for the rest of your life.
RTÉ News
21 hours ago
- RTÉ News
Principal says children distressed after 'two really popular boys' deported
Two brothers who were among 35 people deported from Ireland this week were described as "really popular" and fully integrated into their Dublin primary school. Principal of St James's Primary School Ciaran Cronin said the boys' mother had an immigration appointment scheduled for next month. "So, for this to be sprung on them, if they thought that they were awaiting a further appointment with immigration, that's a very cruel way to do things to children," he said. Speaking on RTÉ's Morning Ireland, Mr Cronin said other children who lived in the same facility as the boys saw them and their mother being removed ahead of the deportation flight to Nigeria. "On Wednesday morning they all came to school completely distressed, upset, visibly shaken by what they had seen at the hotel in the morning. And they had watched as the family's stuff was packed up out of their hotel rooms and they were put on to a minibus to be taken away. "They came to school then to tell us that. That's how we found out what was happening. We had been in touch with the mother for a long time, knowing that they were going through the deportation process. But we were trying to advocate on their behalf, put in character references to say how lovely the children are and how much we want to keep them here in the school. "But on Wednesday morning, when the children came in, we kind of knew it's the end of the line for them, unfortunately," Mr Cronin said. He described the brothers as "two really popular boys" with loads of friends. "They were part of the football team. They played the Cumann na mBunscol GAA tournament the last two years, two really popular boys, had loads of friends and got on really well with everyone and they're just such a huge loss to the school. Such a huge loss," he said. Mr Cronin said that in March 2022, 32 children living in the Red Cow Hotel were enrolled in the school. Many were later moved to different accommodations around the country, but 14 were still attending St James's Primary School. He said that yesterday the teachers explained to the other children that their friends were gone and were not coming back. "At home time yesterday pupils ran out in tears telling their parents that they're gone. And that's the impact that it's having. "They've lost their friends, they're looking to see if they have their WhatsApp, if they're online, on their WhatsApp that they can contact them, that kind of stuff, and they haven't been able to make contact with them since. "So, the children are so upset, but also for the children who are living in the Red Cow, they're all terrified because they think it might be them next." Mr Cronin said as educators they have been told to "do things in a trauma informed way and be careful how you speak to children who've been through traumatic situations", but said it "just feels that this wasn't handled in that way at all." He said that changing the system to speed up the process to prevent children being in schools for years before a decision is made will not make the children in his school "feel any better about what's happened to their friends".
Irish Independent
a day ago
- Irish Independent
Robert Pether 'completely unrecognisable' after four years' detention in Iraqi jail, says wife
While he has been released from prison, Mr Pether remains in Iraq as he is facing a travel ban. The Australian citizen, who had been living in Elphin, Co Roscommon, with his family, was detained in April 2021 and was found guilty of deception in a 'kangaroo court', according to his wife Desree. Speaking to RTÉ's Morning Ireland, Desree Pether said she saw her husband on video for the first time in over four years last night and that he was "completely unrecognisable", adding that it was "a shock to the system to see how far he's declined". The paperwork securing her husband's release was sorted "late last night", she said. "It's the end of the work week in Iraq and now they have Eid, so they're off for the next few days and so we don't know the exact stipulations of the travel ban but at least he's out of prison and he's in a comfortable bed, which he found very difficult last night, having so many pillows. "He actually thought about sleeping on the floor - and of course, it was very, very quiet there wasn't up to 20 odd other people in the cell with him." Ms Pether said her husband is "very sick at the moment" and the focus is currently on keeping him well and ensuring the travel ban can be resolved as soon as possible so he can come home. "I got to speak to him late last night and saw him on video for the first time in over four years and it was a shock. "It's hard, sort of, to be very happy to see him, to see the state of him, he's completely unrecognisable and it's a shock to the system to see how far he's declined," she said. "He's not well at all and he really needs to just come home so that he can get the proper medical care that he needs." ADVERTISEMENT Ms Pether said that while the conditions of the prison are not something they can "openly talk about yet", his cellmates and those who worked in the prison were all "very good to him". "He's fainted a few times in the last couple of months due to the fact he's not eating properly because he can't keep anything down. If he fainted, he had a bunch of people in the cell looking after him and giving him some tea with honey to try and help him," she said. "It was the best of a bad situation." Ms Pether said trying to secure her husband's release has been "a living nightmare every day" that is still not over. "It's one small step in the right direction." Ms Pether said she hopes "there's light at the end of the tunnel and that we can get through this next stage relatively easy, with the least amount of pressure needing to be applied". Their three children are "happy that they can speak to their dad more freely now", but Ms Pether said the family still face "another major battle ahead to get him home". "Until he's actually on a plane, out of airspace and on his way, I don' t think we'll actually breathe properly and left go of the angst." Yesterday evening, Tánaiste Simon Harris said this was the 'first step' in Mr Pether's return to Ireland. 'This evening, I have been informed of the release on bail of Robert Pether, whose imprisonment in Iraq has been a case of great concern,' Mr Harris said. 'This is very welcome news in what has been a long and distressing saga for Robert's wife, three children and his wider family and friends.' The Irish-based engineer was helping to design the Central Bank in Baghdad and was set to work on three hospitals. However, there was a contract dispute between his employer and the Central Bank of Iraq, which led to Mr Pether and his Egyptian colleague ending up in prison. Mr Pether has been in an Iraqi jail since April 2021, and his family have feared for his health. They have been lobbying the Government for help since his arrest. 'Foreign Minister [Fuad] Hussein of Iraq, whom I spoke to last month to urge Robert's release, called me this evening with the news,' Mr Harris added. 'I was informed that Robert has been released on bail and for the moment he remains in Iraq, but I welcomed this as a first step to his being allowed to return to his family in Roscommon.' Ms Pether told the Irish Independent in 2022 that the only communication she was having with her husband was when he able to ring her from the prison twice a week, with the calls ranging from three to 15 minutes in length.
