Final Destination Bloodlines Deaths Ranked
In case you hadn't heard, Final Destination Bloodlines is now one of the highest-grossing R-rated (and also horror) films of all time and will likely become the top-grossing of the entire franchise. And one of the reasons this latest installment in the iconic film series is such a success is the W-I-L-D deaths. Like, there are some really, really, really great ones in this film.
So, we decided to rank all of the deaths in the film from "Eh, not that bad" to "Holy SHIT that was good!!!" Check it out:
William (the little boy) falling to his death.
Crystal: I'm very glad this happened off-camera. Honestly, was sad about this death. 1/10Darren: I'm glad this was only a premonition because I really would have been bummed to see that kid die after all that. 0/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: .5/10
Darlene (Stefani's mom) getting crushed by a wooden post.
Crystal: I don't know if it's because the scene itself was so dark and so much was going on, but this death felt like a side note. Like, it just kinda happened. 2/10Darren: I knew she was probably going to die, and it happened so quickly it was startling, but man what an uninspired kill. 1/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 1.5/10
All the people falling through the Skyview stairwell that collapses.
Crystal: Although it's a pretty comical death (which I love), it wasn't particularly gore-y or shocking. 3/10Darren: They just don't make 'em like they used to. 2/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 2.5/10
All the Skyview restaurant goers burning up in a giant explosion.
Crystal: This felt like a very 'catch-all' kind of death. I'll give them points for quantity, though. 4/10Darren: It had to be done. But still, better deaths to come. 3/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 3.5/10
The dancers falling through the broken glass floor of The Skyview and hitting support beams, the ground, etc.
Crystal: As 'oh shit!!!' as this death sequence is, I wasn't really shocked by it, considering all the build-up with the glass floor cracking, etc. It's definitely an awful way to go, but not as shocking as some other deaths in the Final Destination franchise. 5/10Darren: Exactly what we expected to happen, but still didn't make it any less…fun? But this was just the beginning. 5/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 5/10
All the remaining people falling out of the Skyview restaurant after the explosions, etc.
Crystal: Another middle-of-the-road death sequence for me. Gotta happen, though! 5/10Darren: The deaths themselves, though horrible, are unremarkable in the grand scheme of things. But 'Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head' playing on the radio below as the bodies fall was *chef's kiss*. 7/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 6/10
The little shit who caused the whole thing getting crushed by the piano.
Crystal: Definitely the most satisfying death in the movie. What a POS, this kid. 7/10Darren: He had it coming for sure, but I can't help thinking he could've had it so much worse for setting this whole thing in motion. 5/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 6/10
Stefani and Charlie being crushed by logs flying off a runaway train.
Crystal: IDK why I expected Stefani and Charlie to make it out of this alive. I mean, not EVERYONE dies at the end of every Final Destination film, but certainly, no one cheats death in the long run. So, in that sense, this was kind of surprising. And I did find it funny that, in the end, they were killed by logs. 6/10Darren: Hilarious. I laughed so hard at the guy nonchalantly telling Stefani, 'Well, you didn't technically die…' and me thinking, I know. They're not the "cherry on top" deaths that we deserved, but it's still good cartoonish fun. 6.5/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 6.25/10
The older woman catching on fire from the chef's flambe and then exploding.
Crystal: This one made me laugh out of sheer horror. Like, burning to death seems like one of the worst ways to go. Sorry, ma'am. 7/10Darren: Call me a sicko, but seeing an innocent person running on fire to their demise just does it for me every time. 7/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 7/10
The woman getting crushed by the piano before falling to her death.
Crystal: I felt really bad for this lady, LOL. Like, it's not bad enough to see your imminent death, falling out of a collapsing building, but the piano crushing her was straight out of Looney Tunes. 7/10Darren: Ah, the old getting smashed by a falling pian routine. If you look closely you will see the piano has ACME stamped on it. Not really, but not far off, right?! 7/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 7/10
The last dancer holding onto the glass floor, cutting his hands, and then slamming his head onto a beam Titanic-style.
Crystal: This poor guy's death was a standout amongst the whole sequence of people falling through the glass. Not only was the whole hand thing brutal but to smack your head on a beam on the way down. Oof, adding insult to injury. Sorry, dude. 7/10Darren: Again, I feel like I knew what was coming, but it still hurts so good to see that poor sucker get his head used as a ping-pong ball. Also, the memories of that other poor sucker from Titanic getting similar treatment gets extra points. 8/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 7.5/10
The guy on fire falling out of the window of the Skyview.
Crystal: This death was a little more subtle, and the fact that he fell out of the window on top of being on fire was the cherry on top. 7.5/10Darren: The only thing better than a person on fire, is one pinwheeling to their own double-demise. 8/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 7.75/10
Evie Bludworth (the singer) burning alive in front of a young William.
Crystal: OK, the only thing worse than burning to death is burning to death in front of your own child. B-R-U-T-A-L! 8/10Darren: Well, I changed my mind, maybe seeing a person on fire IS horrible. That kid is scarred for life… even more than his mom. Too soon? 8/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 8/10
Young Iris having her finger degloved by her engagement ring, falling to her death, and then being impaled through the mouth.
Crystal: This felt like a very classic Final Destination-style death. SUPER gory and flinch-worthy. 8/10Darren: You know, there aren't enough de-glovings represented on film. So satisfying, in a vomit-inducing way. 8/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 8/10
Old Iris being impaled through the back of her head by the weathervane.
Crystal: I don't know how I didn't see this one coming sooner, but it was a good one. High on the gore factor and creativity, for sure. 8/10Darren: I love how death was toying with her all throughout the scene. Then, only being able to destroy her once she finally surrenders/sacrifices herself. The poetry of her being impaled through the mouth, just like in the premonition, is solid gold. 8/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 8/10
The restaurant host/older man getting sliced in half by the falling elevator.
Crystal: Now this is the kind of death I expect to see in a Final Destination film. Shocking, gore-y, creative, and a little satisfying because that guy was rude AF. 9/10Darren: Oh boy, now we are getting into the cartoonish gore that I have come to expect from the FD series! 9/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 9/10
Howard (Stefani's uncle) stepping on broken glass, falling on the ground, then a rake setting off a lawnmower which drives over his face, pulverizing his head.
Crystal: This was easily one of my favorite deaths in the film. Lots of nail-biting anticipation and guessing who was gonna die (and how), which makes for the best kinds of deaths. And bonus points for being a 'nod' to another lawnmower-related death in The Final Destination. 9/10Darren: This is the kind of thing FD does best. It puts all the pieces in place to make you think one thing is gonna happen, only to have something totally bat-shit random happen instead. The tension throughout was incredible. 9.5/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 9.25/10
Erik's fakeout death — his nose ring getting caught on a chain that gets wrapped up on a ceiling fan, then him falling into a massive fire below.
Crystal: Well, there's a reason this death sequence is in the teaser trailer. It has literally every perfect element — overly elaborate chain reaction, great music, painful to watch, what more can you ask for?! BUUUT because this was a "fake out," I'm docking points a little. 9/10 Darren: The perfect Rube-Goldbergian death sequence. This is why we watch these movies. I almost felt robbed since this was showcased so prevalently in the teaser trailer, but they really redeemed themselves by making it so he did not actually die from this event, so even though we already saw all this in the trailer, it wasn't quite a spoiler. 10/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 9.5/10
Bobby's head being impaled by a coil from the vending machine that corkscrews through his brain.
Crystal: Unexpected. Shocking. Gory. Hilarious. What's not to love? 10/10Darren: This guy got screwed! 9/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 9.5/10
Julia being crushed in a garbage truck after a tree trimmer falls and hits the guy with a leafblower, which blows leaves into the kids playing soccer, whose ball hits Julia, knocking her into a garbage bin that dumps her into said garbage truck.
Crystal: I feel SO BAD for laughing at this death, but the fact it played out in the background (and exactly how Erik said it would) is hilarious. And never in my life would I have expected to see someone's head crushed by a trash compactor. 10/10Darren: It started off fast and comedic with her being thrown into the garbage truck, but then once she was in the compactor…seeing her head get crushed in slow real-time was so intense, disturbing, and cartoonish that it is now burned in my brain. 10/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 10/10
Erik's real death by being impaled and literally snapped in half by an MRI machine.
Crystal: This death was SO creative. Lots of great anticipation and unexpected twists. This is definitely one I will NOT forget. And, again, more bonus points for the 10/10Darren: You can't write this shit! Oh, wait apparently you can. This is the only franchise that can get away with something so ludicrous, but still have the audience on board 100%. Everything about it is perfect, but the Prince Albert is the crowning achievement. 10/10"Holy Shit!!!" Level: 10/10
Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!
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