Baloney about Blue Angels, biting in the office, and more. July's seven craziest stories

Fox News

5 days ago

Yes, America, it's been another truly crazy month. July featured big, beautiful bills and bigger freakouts. We had the collective media breakdown over the cancellation of Stephen Colbert. Another about President Donald Trump defunding PBS and NPR. And then one about a jeans ad. More on all three of those below.
But oddly enough, two of the strangest stories came from the legal profession, including one involving cats.
1 Catastrophic attack: The left hates the military, even some of the best of the military. Their latest campaign is to ground the Blue Angels. The Blue Angels, for the 12 people who have never heard of them, are acrobatic pilots who exemplify some of the best the military has to offer by performing death-defying maneuvers flying as close as 18 inches from one another. Eleven million Americans see the incredible flying of the Blue Angels each year.
Leftist climate loons can't stand that. They are running a campaign to stop the historic show, at least in their insane neck of the woods, complete with billboards. They are even resorting to cat lawsuits. Here's a bit from a ridiculous NBC News story: "The final days of a Seattle cat were spent in 'terror' due to flyovers by Blue Angels fighter pilots, before squadron leaders blocked the feline's human mother on social media in an act of 'cowardly censorship,' she said in a lawsuit filed this week." NBC News says the author of the lawsuit, a paralegal, whined about the fliers last year on Instagram, "Nobody gives a f--- about your stupid little planes." Except for 11 million people.
2. F-bombs galore: One of the month's freakouts featured the embarrassing behavior of media liberals willing to debase themselves to keep Colbert employed, though his show lost tens of millions of dollars and wasn't funny. The worst of these came from his buddy and former coworker Jon Stewart. Stewart mocked the network (which shares the same corporate owners as his own Comedy Central) for not trying to save their late-night show and for "killing a show that you know rankled a fragile and vengeful president." Half of the segment was classic Stewart with a degree of self-deprecating humor. Then he launched into song, complete with backup singers, telling the network, "Just go f--- yourself." Counting the singers repeating his mantra, the segment featured at least 35 or so F-bombs. That's what the left is down to, they are losing so badly that all they can do is F-bomb like kids who learned a naughty word. Besides, Jason Mewes did it better.
3. Big law bites: Law has often been described as swimming with the sharks. But leave it to a young associate to put that metaphor into action – like the shark out of "Jaws." A summer associate at the prestigious Sidley Austin law firm reportedly lost her job because of her eating habits. According to Above The Law, "a Biglaw summer associate bit people at the firm — with her teeth." The site termed her the "Biglaw Biter" after rejecting several other options including, "Associate Lecter." The site reported that five people were bitten and with "a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe." Ah, the joys of telecommuting.
4. Misreading history: Those of us who like history find it hard to reconcile the amazing stuff historian Ken Burns does with the absolute idiocy that he delivers at times. This month was no exception. He went on CBS to pretty much defend the people who pay him: "I couldn't do any of the films I've done without them being on PBS." Burns admitted he doesn't believe there's bias at the network, which really does call into question every other analysis he has ever done. Then came the killer quote: "It is the Declaration of Independence applied to the communications world." Yeah, leaves me speechless. I wish it had done the same to him.
5. In the bag: There are purses and bags and then there's the Birkin. (You can almost hear the angelic choir in the background.) Birkin bags are the in fashion accessory for the heavily cashed set. You know, the kind of people who think shopping at Tiffany is middle class. (That's a dating story.) For them, there is the almighty Birkin bag. There are videos devoted to it and even songs. One hundred years from now, it will probably qualify as a religion. This month, the late Jane Birkin's original Birkin bag sold at auction … for $10 million. This wasn't pristine, as many Birkin owners try to keep theirs. No, according to the Post, "Scratches, surface scuffs, and signs of use are present on all sides." But you know the old adage, if you have to ask how much, you can't afford it. I'm not sure I can afford to be in the same Zip Code.
6. 'Blue Jean Baby': American Eagle unveiled a new ad for their jeans with sex symbol Sydney Sweeney as spokesmodel. And it was WW II all over again. In the ad, Sweeney seductively pulls on her jeans and makes word play mixing "genes" and "jeans." The campaign tagline says, "Sydney Sweeney has great jeans." The reaction was swift and unhinged, whining that pretty women are controversial and arguing it was all about "eugenics." MSNBC claimed: "Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle ad shows a cultural shift toward whiteness." Yahoo ran a piece arguing, "I'm astounded Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle ads got approved." Some online commentators even whined about her initials. This is the kind of reaction that makes you wish Al Gore had never pretended to invent the internet.
7. Bowling for …: And speaking of word play, Pittsburgh Area Naturalists held naked bowling in July. Naked bowling – except for shoes. (You have to protect the integrity of the game, after all.) According to WTRF out of Pittsburgh, $30 got you four hours of bowling and footwear. The event was naturally called, "Balls Out Bowling." The story included the important caveat, "Nudity is required with the exception that women can wear bottoms." I pity the poor business that had to design the trophy.