Sarah thought a bike accident was the most painful thing. Then at 50, perimenopause hit
"For me, turning 50 was feelings, emotions and questioning who I was, and where I am with my life — and dealing with my aggression [brought on by perimenopause] that was internally combusting," she said. Now 51, Justine is still using a walking stick because of her accident. She recognises some of her pain is related to her accident, but some is related to the stages of menopause. She wants more people to recognise that you're not going crazy when perimenopause symptoms kick in around her age.
Like Justine, turning 50 brought challenges for Sarah Hennesey. She believed that by the time she turned 50, she would be living on a big country property with her lawyer husband and seven children — running the local Country Women's Association and baking scones. None of those things happened. Sarah and her husband separated when she was 42; she says that life in the eight years since has been "upside down, inside out". "The house had to be sold [during the separation]," Sarah said. "We had been working for a long time but for various reasons there wasn't much to show for it." For years, she had been working in highly paid, high-stress jobs and says she had relied too heavily on alcohol.
Getting sober in her late 40s brought great clarity for Sarah. So, when she lost her job at age 49, she chose to take a chance on her creative passion. "I thought: 'you know what, I'm almost 50. I don't care anymore'," Sarah said. "I have this deeper sense that things will be okay, and not to think that I can control everything. "I have learned the hard way so many times that I can't..." After enrolling in a business course, Sarah started her own business catering events and teaching people how to make mocktails and non-alcoholic drinks. "I made the decision to get my business up and running before my 50th because in this new significant chunk in my life, I knew that things needed to be different".
Unlike Sarah, Matt Craig is not looking at modifying aspects of his life anytime soon. When asked whether he's having a mid-life crisis at all, Matt told Insight that "if buying cool shit, cool cars is a reflection of a midlife crisis, f---, I hope I have them regularly". A Gold Coast construction manager with a penchant for collecting cars and attending bush doofs (electronic dance festivals in remote locations), Matt hasn't slowed down since turning 50. "Fifty-year-old hangovers are certainly different from younger ones," Matt said. "But other than that ... just keep it strong. Keep it real and keep charging". Although leading a fast and colourful lifestyle that makes him feel closer to 35, there is one area of Matt's life where he admits to needing a little support ... the bedroom. "You like to make sure the old fella gives a good showing, but you've just got to get it right with the timing and make sure you set the mood — otherwise, you're left with a hard problem."
Like Mike, Tania Segura loves being 50. A secondary teacher by day and dance instructor by night, Tania says her 40s were better than her 30s and her 30s were better than her 20s, so she can only imagine how great her 50s are going to be. "I'm finding that now there's space for joy," Tania said. "To wear a cute dress or use the good China ... I think life is for living and I'm here for it." Finding the space to try new things, Tania recently entered an Instagram competition and won a photoshoot. She is now signed to a talent and casting agency, which is something she could not have imagined doing when she was younger.
"Sometimes, people expect 50, to be old and to be lacking vitality," Tania said. "I'm still working and I'm still dancing ... I'm not in an armchair, crocheting with a cup of tea. "I think we've had 50 years to put plants in this garden, and it's now time to bloom." Similarly to Tania, Sarah feels like now is the time to forge new paths, and says she now has "laser sharp focus". "No more mucking around — I'm not going to get another 50 years," Sarah said. "It's on the downhill slide and I don't see that as a bad thing; I see it as giving the gift of clarity."
However, for Justine, this midlife point has not been quite the time she hoped for and is eager to be on the other side of it. When Insight asked her what she was looking forward to in the future, it was "not being 50" and "not having menopause". "I'm really looking forward to the day I turn around and say, 'what was all that about'?"
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