STEPHEN DAISLEY: Dangerous cranks? The kale munchers didn't like that, either

Daily Mail​

02-05-2025

We've all been there.
You've been forced to talk about the Scottish Greens and are struggling for a suitable description. There are a number of adjectives that would seem to apply but, mindful of your granny's admonitions, you want to avoid using 'language'.
Russell Findlay was struck by just this dilemma at First Minister's Questions when speaking about the impact of the Bute House Agreement on energy policy.
' John Swinney personally brought the Greens into government,' he reminded the chamber, 'These dangerous fanatics want to shut down all oil and gas production—'
A wounded howl went up from the kombucha corner and Presiding Officer Alison Johnstone scolded the Scottish Conservative leader to be more respectful.
She had a point. Whatever you think of dangerous fanatics, they don't deserve to be compared to the Scottish Greens.
Findlay had another go: 'Sorry, these dangerous… cranks.'
The kale-munchers didn't like that either, earning the Tory chief a withering rebuke from the PO. For all Johnstone's cool-hippy-aunt energy, the slightest hint of rudeness and it's like Mrs Bridges from Upstairs Downstairs just discovered the under-house parlour maid flashing her ankles to the footman.
The Scottish Tory leader struggles to rein it in at Holyrood
'Mr Findlay!' she gasped. If the clerk had smelling salts on hand, she would have huffed the lot in one go.
Findlay had the look of a man weighing up whether to push further or cut his losses.
He tried again: 'These dangerous… ideologues.'
The PO let that one stand. So now we know the proper parliamentary term to insult the Scottish Greens. I reckon I'll stick with the most insulting term of all: 'Scottish Greens'.
The Swinney-Russell exchanges were a reminder that Nicola Sturgeon continues to loom large over the Scottish Government. Not literally, of course. That would require her to turn up on occasion. But in manner, style and tone it very much remains her show.
Findlay proposed that, in light of the decision to cease crude oil processing at Grangemouth, the First Minister reverse his presumption against new oil and gas exploration. Swinney assured the workers that they had his 'solidarity'. That's a relief, because banks accept mortgage payments in solidarity.
He added that ministers would 'support the individuals that are affected'. Shutting down an industry then offering help to the workers facing redundancy. There could scarcely be a better definition of politics.
'The SNP used to say 'It's Scotland's oil', Findlay said. 'Now they want to just stop oil.'
Hiyo! It was a pun, you see, because of Just Stop Oil. At least Findlay sounded impressed with himself. I shouldn't nitpick. Dad jokes are pretty advanced for a parliament where some struggle to speak in complete sentences.
Swinney dismissed Findlay's line of questioning, noting that 'the Conservatives are involved in a pivot and want to deny the climate challenges we face'. Here he broke out some familiar moves: the vertical karate chop (used to emphasise a point), the reverse jazz hands (his trademark reasonable-to-a-fault gesture), and the prayerful palms ('let's all come together and see that I'm right').
The First Minister recalled that Findlay had backed climate targets then hailed Kemi Badenoch's 'refreshingly honest' call to dump them. Findlay was guilty, Swinney charged, of 'barefaced dishonesty'.
'It's quite something to be lectured by a career politician about barefaced dishonesty when he's built a career on it,' Findlay shot back.
Well, that set the Presiding Officer off again, and it was another round of tongue-lashings for the lot of them.
If Swinney was so concerned about emissions, Findlay argued, he would back nuclear. Swinney sniffed that Hinkley C nuclear power plant, due for completion this year at a cost of £34 billion, now wouldn't be online until 2031 and the bill had risen to £46 billion.
So said the head of a government that promised two ferries by 2018 for £97 million and delivered them in 2025 for £400 million. If the First Minister is going to throw stones in glass houses, he should get a price and timescale in writing from the glazier.