If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says

Yahoo

22-07-2025

If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says originally appeared on Parade.
Generally speaking, we try to stay away from "imposters," whether they're trying to manipulate us into handing over a bank account number or our heart (AKA a two-timing romantic partner). However, your inner critic may unfairly label you an imposter every time you pursue a goal. If you struggle to mute that internal monologue and start believing your critic has a point, you may have imposter syndrome."Imposter syndrome is the feeling or belief that we are not entitled to say something, do something, or be a particular way despite evidence to the contrary," explains Dr. Craig Kain, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "Clients express imposter syndrome when they tell me, 'I know I can do this—I am already doing it—but I still feel like a fake.'"Clearly, advice to "fake-it-'til-you-make-it" can only go so far, especially if you experience this imposter phenomenon. Dr. Kain warns that this self-deception can cause anxiety levels that become so paralyzing that you cannot find joy in your accomplishments and life. Working on your unspoken fears is useful. However, first, you need to recognize them. Here, Dr. Kain shares nine common, unspoken fears associated with imposter syndrome, as well as strategies for coping.Related:
9 Unspoken Fears in People Living With Imposter Syndrome, a Psychologist Says
1. Sounding ignorant
Dr. Kain shares that people with this fear will often ask themselves, 'What if someone asks me something about a topic I don't know about and I have nothing to say?'"Because we falsely believe we should know everything about everything, we fear someone putting us on the spot," he warns. "This fear of humiliation is a very common one throughout people's lives."Related:
2. Revealing a working-class background
Society often views wealth as something best measured in dollars and cents, which can make people with blue-collar roots feel especially self-conscious. For instance, Dr. Kain says that people may wonder whether they'll get judged for using the "wrong fork" at a lavish dinner party or wedding."This fear of social humiliation can be strong even after years of education and a solid white-collar career," he explains. "It can be extremely anxiety-provoking in situations where working-class people are stereotyped and looked down upon."
3. Pronouncing something incorrectly
Dr. Kain notes that people with developmental differences are often prone to this unspoken fear of imposter syndrome."Because assisted technology is readily available and extremely useful, many of my clients have relied on audiobooks to get them through their education," he says. "They often go on to be highly successful despite struggling to read quickly or fluently. I have clients who have avoided jobs and careers because of the fear of being perceived as 'stupid' because they struggle reading aloud."Dr. Kain adds that people who aren't fluent in English or don't consider it their primary language are also at a higher risk of this one."If they have a strong need to blend in and not draw attention to themselves, if they have worked hard to eliminate an accent, the fear of 'giving themselves away' by mispronouncing a word can be extremely paralyzing," he says.Related:
4. Difficult questions
You've earned your way to expert status, yet you find yourself chronically asking yourself, "What if someone asks me a question I cannot answer? Won't they know I'm not the expert?" Dr. Kain experienced this one himself. When he started teaching, he wondered what would happen if a student asked him something he couldn't answer."I'm not really sure what caused my belief that I had to know everything about the topic I taught—perhaps it was because I was still under the naive impression my professors knew everything about their areas of expertise—but I worried I'd be seen as an imposter if I didn't," he says. "I'm slightly embarrassed to say it took me a while to realize students are perfectly fine waiting a week for an answer so that I could do some research."
5. Specific questions about your history
The idea of answering questions you do know the answer to—such as about your education—may also trigger anxiety if you have imposter syndrome."This is common in people who come from working-class families or who didn't go to upper-tier schools," Dr. Kain says. "The idea that our family of origin's social status defines us as adults or that the school we went to somehow speaks to our intelligence later in life fuels this fear of humiliation and feelings of being an imposter."Related:
6. Having something to prove
You may ask yourself, 'What if someone says, 'Prove it,' to me and I can't?' Dr. Kain notes that he often hears competitive athletes release this unspoken fear in therapy with him, especially when they're highly ranked due to stellar past performance."The fear that their success was due to luck and not hard work and skill can increase typical pre-game jitters to an unbearable intensity, all centered around an anticipated humiliation of being called a fake or imposter if they underperform," he explains.You may also experience this fear if you received high praise for a work presentation you gave to your company at an all-hands meeting and have since been tasked with speaking to the board of directors.
7. Sounding too intelligent or nerdy
Having "smarts" is generally considered a positive trait. However, imposter syndrome has a funny way of turning it into a negative. Dr. Kain says people with this unspoken fear are typically scared that they'll say or do something that tips their friends off that they aren't that "cool." 'While they may, at times, feel like they belong, it is offset by feeling like they're an imposter," he explains.He adds that he primarily sees this fear in teens. However, it can strike people of any age and trigger emotional and psychological distress.Related:
8. Exposing a lack of experience
People with imposter syndrome often live in fear that they'll say or do something that gets them tagged as "inexperienced.""This common manifestation of imposter syndrome often arises when we have recently mastered a new subject, task or skill, undermining our hard work and effort and discounting our accomplishments," Dr. Kain says.If you have this unspoken fear, you might ask yourself, 'What if I don't know how to do something others think I'm supposed to know how to do?'
9. Forgetting everything during a presentation and performance
Lights, camera...uh, what? People with imposter syndrome can experience stage fright long before the curtains go up."This version of the imposter syndrome capitalizes on catastrophic thinking and the notion that everyone in an audience would know and care if we messed up," Dr. Kain says.He likes to remind clients that the audience is almost always rooting for them, not against them, and will understand if they lose their place."Most people in an audience are happy they are in their chair and not on stage presenting or performing," he adds.Related:
4 Tips for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
1. Stop comparing
They say comparison is the thief of joy. However, it's rocket fuel for imposter syndrome."So much of imposter syndrome is based on social comparison," Dr. Kain says. "We mentally paint a picture of how someone will react to us based on a limited amount of information we may have about them."He reminds clients that few people share their inner workings—including any unspoken fears of imposter syndrome they have."Having worked as a therapist for many years, I can assure you that most people do not have it nearly as together on the inside as they may want you to think," he explains. "Hardly anybody has it all figured out, and nearly nobody feels confident all the time."Related:
2. Remember that even experts make mistakes
This tip is handy if you're afraid to say or do something that gets you labeled as inexperienced or if you don't know the answer to a question."Imposter syndrome lives in the fear of being 'found out, 'slipping up' and making mistakes," Dr. Kain shares. "It is helpful to remember that making a mistake does not make you an imposter. It simply makes you a human being."
3. Talk to someone
Transform your unspoken imposter syndrome fear by saying it out loud. Dr. Kain says you may be surprised by what you hear in return."Let someone else know you feel like an imposter," he suggests. "It's rare to find someone who can honestly say they never felt that way themselves. If you do find someone who tells you they have never experienced imposter syndrome, there is a high likelihood they've accomplished this by avoiding challenging situations."Related:
4. Work on actual gaps
No one is perfect. If the voice in your head has a point, there's no shame in working on a gap in knowledge or experience. In fact, it's a sign of maturity and can lead to growth."If you find that you truly are lacking in some area, figure out a way to make up the missing skills, information or experiences," Dr. Kain says. "Do what you can to be more comfortable in your own skin."Sign up for a course, volunteer your time, find a mentor—you and those around you will benefit from your humility and grit.
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Dr. Craig Kain, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist
If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 'Unspoken Fears,' a Psychologist Says first appeared on Parade on Jul 22, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 22, 2025, where it first appeared.
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