Is today's political climate making dating harder for young people?

Irish Examiner

28-07-2025

The last year has highlighted a political divide between young men and women. Data from elections in several countries shows that women aged 18-29 are becoming significantly more liberal, while young men are leaning more conservative. And a recent 30-country study found generation Z more divided than other generations on key questions around gender equality.
At the same time, there is growing evidence that this cohort is turning away from traditional dating and long-term romantic relationships. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, in the US between 2022 and 2023, 24% of men and 13% of women aged 22-34 reported no sexual activity in the past year.
This is a significant increase on previous years. And, American teens are less likely to have romantic relationships than teenagers of previous generations.
In the UK, surveys over the past decades reveal a trend in reduced sexual activity, in terms of both frequency and number of partners, among young people. Dating apps are also losing their lustre, with the top platforms seeing significant user declines among heterosexual gen Z users in the last year.
Is the gendered political divide making dating harder? As sociologists of intimacy, our work has shown how relationships are affected by larger social, economic, and political trends.
Our research on enduring gender inequality has shown that it can affect the perceived quality of intimate relationships and relationship stability. For example, heterosexual relationships are often underpinned by unequal divisions of emotional and domestic labour, even among partners with similar incomes.
Some commentators and researchers have identified a trend of 'heteropessimism' — a disillusionment with heterosexual relationships, often marked by irony, detachment, or frustration. Anecdotally, women have widely expressed weariness with the gender inequality that can emerge in relationships with men.
But heteropessimism has been identified among men too, and research has found that women are, on average, happier being single than men.
Take domestic labour. Despite progress towards gender equality in many areas, data shows that women in mixed sex relationships still shoulder the majority of housework and care. In the UK, women carry out an average of 60% more unpaid work than men. This gap persists even among couples who both work full-time.
In Korea, persistent gender inequality is thought to be behind the 4B movement. Young Korean women, fed up with sexist stereotypes which tie women to traditional roles, have declared their rejection of marriage, childbirth, dating, and sex with men.
Beyond Korea, young women have declared themselves 'boy sober'. Harassment, abuse, and 'toxic behaviour' on dating apps has reportedly driven young women away from wanting to date at all.
Others have embraced voluntary celibacy. One reason is that, for some women, the erosion of reproductive rights, such as the overturning of Roe v Wade in the US, sharpens the political stakes of intimacy. Political disagreements that may once have been surmountable in a relationship are now deeply personal, affecting women's bodily autonomy and experiences of misogyny.
Young women have declared themselves 'boy sober'. Harassment, abuse, and 'toxic behaviour' on dating apps has reportedly driven young women away from wanting to date at all. File picture: PA
Of course, gender inequality does not just negatively affect women. In education, evidence suggests boys are falling behind girls at every level in the UK, though recent research shows this has reversed in maths and science. Men report feeling locked out of opportunities to care for their children through old-fashioned parental leave norms, which offer minimal opportunities for fathers to spend time with their children.
Some influencers capitalise on real and perceived losses for men, pushing regressive and sexist views of women and relationships into the social media feeds of millions of boys and young men.
Given all of the above, it is not entirely surprising that young men are more likely than young women to report that feminism has done more harm than good.
But there are wider political and economic issues that affect both young men and women, and how (or whether) they date each other. Gen Z are coming of age in a time of economic depression. Research shows that those experiencing financial stress have difficulties in establishing and maintaining intimate relationships.
This may partly be because early stages of romance are strongly associated with consumerism — dinner out, gifts, and so on. But there is also a lack of mental space for dating when people are under pressure to make ends meet. Insecure finances also affect young people's ability to afford their own homes and have access to private spaces with a partner.
There are, additionally, growing rates of mental ill health reported by young people worldwide. Anxieties abound around the pandemic, economic recession, the climate, and international conflict.
These anxieties play out in the dating scene, with some feeling that entering into a romantic relationship is another risk to be avoided. Research with UK-based heterosexual dating app users aged 18-25 found that they often saw dating as a psychological stand-off — where expressing care too soon could result in humiliation or rejection.
The result was that neither young men nor women felt safe expressing genuine interest. This left people stuck in the much-lamented 'talking stage', where relationships fail to progress.
As sociologist Lisa Wade and others have shown, even when casual sex is part of the picture, emotional attachment is often actively resisted. The proliferation of 'hook-up culture' — characterised by casual sexual encounters that prioritise physical pleasure over emotional intimacy — may partly be a response to a cultural discomfort with vulnerability.
Gen Z's turn away from dating doesn't necessarily reflect a lack of desire for connection, but perhaps a heightened sense of vulnerability related to larger trends in mental ill-health and social, economic, and political insecurity.
It may not be that young people are rejecting relationships. Rather, they may be struggling to find emotionally safe (and affordable) spaces where intimacy can develop.