5 signs you're being catfished like on ITV's Fake

Yahoo

03-05-2025

In the age of dating apps, love might be just a swipe away, but so is deception. ITV's latest thriller, Fake, has cast a spotlight on the threat of online romance scams.
The eight-part Australian series premiered on ITVX on 27 April and hits TV screens from 3 May. It follows Birdie Bell, a magazine writer who thinks she's met her dream man on a dating app – a charming, successful rancher named Joe. But as their whirlwind romance deepens, so do Birdie's doubts, and the cracks in Joe's story begin to show.
Fake is based on writer Stephanie Wood's real-life memoir, detailing her 15-month relationship with a con artist – a cautionary tale now dramatised to reveal just how easy it is to fall for someone who isn't who they say they are.
Around 22% of people in the UK have personally experienced catfishing and 40% know someone who's been catfished, according to a 2022-23 Statista survey. Catfishing is the deceptive act of creating a fake online identity, often using fake photos or fabricated details to lure someone into a relationship.
However, it isn't always about emotional manipulation – in some cases, it's financial. According to Barclays, the average amount lost to romance scams jumped to £8,000 in 2024, up from just under £5,800 the year before.
Whether it's stolen photos, too-good-to-be-true stories, or emotionally manipulative conversations, spotting a catfish early could save you from emotional and financial harm. Yahoo UK spoke to a psychologist and cybersecurity experts, who revealed the five signs you're being catfished.
Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, warns that you're more likely to be sucked into a con artist's scam if a relationship moves quickly. She recommends meeting up with the person you're talking to sooner rather than later.
"If somebody you're talking to on an app is resistant to getting off the app, initially, I would be a bit concerned," she says.
"The more you talk to somebody, the better you think you know them, and people assume that they know people far better than they do before they've ever met them.
"We get a lot of visual cues when we meet people and so never having seen someone, there's a lot of nuance that you miss when you're mostly in writing or on the phone."
Dr Jason Nurse, a reader in cyber security at the University of Kent, also says refusing to meet face-to-face or dodging video chats is a common tactic used to maintain the deception.
"If you do arrange to meet, always choose a public place; I'd even suggest asking a friend to come along," he recommends.
Dr Bisbey suggests cross-referencing any information the person you're dating provides by looking at their social media accounts. If they don't have any, this could be a red flag.
"Everybody I know, even up into their seventies, has social media these days, right?," she says. "At least one social media. So if somebody's telling you they don't have social media, that should be a bit of a red flag."
If the person you're speaking to claims to be successful, pay attention to how they present themself, Dr Bisbey warns.
"They don't have to come dressed to the nines, they don't have to be wearing a bunch of designer stuff. In fact, people who have lots and lots of money are often very understated, but their understated casual look is of high quality," she explains.
"You can spot the difference between high-quality clothing and stuff from cheaper shops, so look to see if what they're saying adds up. I think when you're meeting people online, being a bit of a detective is definitely important. When you ask questions, make sure that you listen to what they're saying and see if it adds up."
She also stresses the importance of paying attention to people's manners and the way they interact with others. If someone is lying about their background or social standing, she says, they might not have the "social graces" you'd expect.
Jemma Davis, a cyber behaviour and culture change consultant and founder of Culture Gem, says you should be cautious if the person contacting you is more attractive than the people you usually date.
"This sounds really horrible, but I get people that are way too good looking for me that try and scam me," she says. "So be aware if you are punching.
"I don't want to shame anyone by saying they're too good looking for you, but just ask questions. If you think this person is too good, too attractive, too successful, just be cautious."
Dr Nurse supports this advice, adding: "Scammers often use attractive or idealised personas to gain trust. If someone seems unusually flawless or says all the right things very quickly, that's a big red flag."
If the person you're dating asks for help or financial support soon after starting the relationship, Davis says you should "run a mile."
"If they ask, 'Could I come around and borrow something?' [be wary]. It doesn't necessarily have to start with 'Could you send me £100 pounds?' It could be a small amount of help, because they're effectively testing the water to see what they can get away with," she says.
"It could be, 'Could I come and use your internet?' I knew somebody who had their bank account drained one pence at a time, because that meant alarms weren't raised. It will generally be an escalation over time."
Dr Nurse adds: "A scammer may eventually ask for money or suggest investing in something; these days it's cryptocurrency with promises of big, quick payoffs. These are major red flags, and once money is involved, the risks increase dramatically."
Davis only speaks to people who have verified profiles on dating apps, which she suggests you do, too.
"I've run my own tests on what happens if I change my photos on an already verified profile, and the apps are very good at removing verification if that person doesn't look like the person they're purporting to be," she says.
Dating app Tinder also advises using verification tools, saying catfishing is a violation of its guidelines and anyone discovered catfishing will be removed from the platform.
"We encourage all users to use our Verification tools, which use a multi-step verification system to help confirm a user is the person in their profile. If violations are detected and flagged, our team will manually review to verify or proactively remove the account," says a spokesperson.
"Additionally, we encourage our users to look for the 'blue tick,' which indicates that the user's profile image is genuine and has been verified by Tinder, through our Photo Verification program."
You can request information about a partner or ex-partner from the police under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, better known as Clare's Law. This enables them to release information about any previous history of violence or abuse a person might have.
If you're worried a friend or family member is at risk of abuse, you can also put in a "Right to Ask" Clare's Law request, meaning the police will consider disclosing any information to you.
Read more about relationships:
5 relationship red flags you should never ignore, according to an expert (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)
6 potential signs your partner is being unfaithful as Amanda Holden's Cheat: Unfinished Business joins Netflix (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
I love being single, it's going to take someone extraordinary for me to give it up (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)