She took the dog out for a quick walk. Then, her mom fell down the stairs. Canadian woman opens up about the moment she knew her mom couldn't live at home
"I have cameras in my house so I can watch her everywhere, because I was so scared of what might happen,' Ross said in an interview with Yahoo Canada.
Dog in one hand, phone in the other, Ross kept her eye on screen as she made her way down the street. But she hadn't made it far when she noticed her mom had left the room. She started racing back to her house when she heard the creak of her stairs coming from the phone's speaker, followed by a loud bang. She knew instinctively that her mother had fallen down the stairs.
'I grab my dog, pick him up, and I'm running as fast as I can,' Ross remembered. When she returned to the house, she found her mom at the bottom of the stairs. 'I still feel panic when I think of that.'
After that incident, Ross was hypervigiliant about looking after her mother. 'I didn't want to ever leave her,' she said. 'It was getting really hard.' But over the next couple of months, it became clear that Ross and her sister could no longer care for their mother alone.
We were starting to lose sleep, and everything was starting to be too muchPam Ross
Lillian was resistant to home support services coming into the house, so the family tried to find a compromise. Ross and her sister tried divide Lillian's time between houses and enrolling her in an adult day program through the Salvation Army. Finally, after many discussions and deep thought, the sisters decided to tour care homes.
'We were starting to lose sleep, and everything was starting to be too much,' Ross said. The sisters moved Lillian to an assisted-living facility last July. It was not an easy decision. 'She would say to us, 'Do not move me into a home. I'm not going into a home. I want to stay in my own house.''
Wanting to remain in their own home is a common sentiment among seniors. In fact, 96 per cent of Canadians aged 65 and older would do 'everything they could' to avoid going into a long-term care facility, according to the National Institute on Ageing.
The reality is, it can be hard to recognize when it's time to move a parent into a retirement community, nursing home or long-term care facility. Many caregivers experience guilt, stress, and emotional complexities when navigating the transition with their senior loved ones. Like Ross and her sister, many families try multiple care strategies before choosing a care home.
According to Stephanie Chan, a senior living advisor and founder of Home to Home, a care planning business in Vancouver, B.C, there are some common signs to look out for when considering a move for your senior loved one.
Mobility is one warning sign to gauge whether a living environment is still right for aging parents. Are they having difficulty doing daily tasks, such as taking their medications, tidying the house, or cooking for themselves? A lack of socialization is another factor. If a senior loved one seems to be lonely or isolated with limited daily social interaction, that could be another sign to think about moving them into a care home.
Chan also asks families to consider their loved one's cognitive abilities, like if they cannot find their way back home from a walk. Finally, big life-changing events, like the loss of a spouse or the diagnosis of a serious illness, could be a sign to downsize.
Providing care for a loved one can take a toll on the caregivers, too. 'Caregiving can be very lonely at any stage of the caregiving experience,' says Amy Coupal, CEO of the Ontario Caregiver Organization, a charitable organization that aims to support Ontario's four million caregivers. 'Part of what can help to reduce that loneliness is to connect with resources and supports in the community.'
Nearly one in four Canadians are caregivers at some point in their lives and nearly eight million Canadians provide care for family members or friends with a long-term condition, a physical or mental disability, or problems related to aging.
According to the Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence, a program of the Azrieli Foundation, caregivers provide on average more than 30 hours of unpaid care each week, which is nearly the equivalent of a full-time job.
For caregivers in Ontario who feel overwhelmed, Coupal advises they call the Ontario Caregiver Organization's 24/7 helpline, or visit the website to view tip sheets with information on support options, including peer mentors and peer support groups. 'We also have counselling and coaching for people who may be facing burnout or experiencing significant caregiving challenges,' she said.
The choice did not come lightly for Ross and her sister to move their mother into a care home.
'The guilt for us is really challenging,' Ross said. But they kept coming back to what Ross calls the Four Ss: safety, social ability, life satisfaction, and sanity. In other words, was her mother safe? Was she social? Did she have any life satisfaction? And what about the sisters' sanity? 'When we really started to look at them all, it seemed like it had to be the right decision for us."
For other families who are struggling to know whether it's the right time to move their senior loved one into a care home, Ross offers this advice: 'These are discussions you should have with a healthy parent. These are uncomfortable discussions,' she said. 'I feel like if we had had these conversations with my mom when she was fully cognitively aware, she would have said, I don't want you having to worry about this.'
The last year has been an adjustment. The sisters visit their mother five times a week, and check in with the staff every day. Still, it's a difficult transition. 'We know that she's being cared for and safe, but there's a ton of guilt. You don't want to leave her alone. And at the same time, I know that my mother would be devastated to know how much this has affected our lives.'
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Yahoo
The worst hamburgers for your health — and the best ones to buy to avoid high sodium and fat
If you're BBQing this long weekend, it's worth noting the nutrition behind your favourite burgers. BBQ season is here, and for many Canadians, the chance to soak up more summer by having dinner outside is a key part to making the most of these sweet, sunny days. However, most barbecue fare can be a minefield of sodium. A Health Canada report from 2017 states many Canadian kids and men consume the mineral to potentially health-affecting excess. That includes 72 per cent of children aged four to 13, and a whopping 90 per cent of men between ages 14 and 30. On the other hand, notably, less than half of women in the same age group aren't consuming excess sodium. A small amount of sodium is a necessary part of a balanced diet as the mineral regulates blood pressure, keeps fluids in balance and helps muscle and nerve functioning. But too much is a serious health concern: "The average daily sodium intake of Canadians is currently estimated at 2,760 mg, which is higher than the established goal of 2,300 mg per day," Health Canada shares in that same report, going a long way to explaining the prevalence of high blood pressure in the country. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Contact a qualified medical professional before engaging in any physical activity, or making any changes to your diet, medication or lifestyle. The study adds roughly 25 per cent of Canadians over age 20 have been diagnosed with high blood pressure. But it also explains the actual number is likely much higher, given the condition presents no symptoms and develops slowly. If that's not enough to have you put down the salt shaker, how about this: Heart disease and stroke are, respectively, the second and third leading causes of death in Canada after cancer. Most of the excess sodium in the typical Canadian diet is found in salty snacks, condiments, canned soups, frozen entrees like pizza and microwaved meals — and, above all, bakery goods and processed meats. Burgers, sausages, canned meats and deli meats all fall under this last category. That means when it comes time to fire up the grill, those watching their sodium intake can't just reach for any old patty. Here, we're comparing the nutritional label on a variety of popular grocery store favourites. From veggie burgers and imitation meat patties, to your classic chicken and beef burgers, this is everything you need to know about the sodium content in popular pre-made hamburger products you may be eyeing this summer. What are the best and worst burgers when it comes to your health? Beef burgers Pre-formed beef burgers are a barbecue staple. However, these patties are typically full of sodium, with some packages noting a single patty could use up a whopping quarter of your recommended daily value (DV) intake. When it comes to the DV on nutrition labels, five per cent or less is a little, while 15 per cent and above is a lot. President's Choice Thick and Juicy Beef Burgers Sodium: 600 mg, 26% DV Fat: 33 g (includes 15 g saturated + 1.5 g trans), 44% DV No Name Beef Burgers Sodium: 440 mg, 19% DV Fat: 28 g (includes 13 g saturated + 2 g trans), 37% DV Compliments Frozen Traditional Beef Burgers Sodium: 390 mg, 17% DV Fat: 10 g saturated + 1 g trans, 55% DV Montana's Frozen Canadian Angus Beef Burgers Sodium: 570 mg, 25% DV Fat: 11 g saturated + 2 g trans, 65% DV Chicken burgers Changing it up with chicken burgers keeps barbecued dinners interesting as summer's heat continues on. These patties also seem to score slightly lower on sodium and fat levels than their beef counterparts. Zabiha Halal Chicken Burgers Sodium: 480 mg, 21% DV Fat: 8 g (includes 2 g saturated), 11% DV Compliments Balance Chicken Burgers Sodium: 330 mg, 14% DV Fat: 1.5 g saturated, 8% DV Janes Breaded Chicken Burgers Sodium: 410 mg, 18% DV Fat: 1.5 g saturated, 8% DV Great Value Chicken Burgers Sodium: 300 mg, 13% DV Fat: 11 g (includes 15 g saturated + 0.1 g trans), 15% DV Fish burgers Need a break from the red meats or poultry? Fish burgers are a good alternative when you're thinking of firing up the barbecue. Stick to non-breaded versions to stay on the healthier side. Compliments Wild Pacific Salmon Burgers Sodium: 310 mg, 13% DV Fat: 0.3 saturated, 2% DV President's Choice The Ultimate Atlantic Salmon Burgers Sodium: 420 mg, 18% DV Fat: 10g (includes 1.5 g saturated), 13% DV High Liner Breaded Fish Burgers Sodium: 610 mg, 27% DV Fat: 13g (includes 1 g saturated), 17% DV Janes Beer Battered Fish Burgers Sodium: 410 mg, 18% Fat: 1.5 g saturated, 8% DV Plant-based protein burgers Gone are the days of vegetarians getting left out at the cookout: Brands like Impossible, Beyond Meat, Yves and Gardein offer a this-close facsimile of their beef brethren — including the sodium and fat, it seems. Beyond Meat Plant-Based Burgers Sodium: 260 mg, 11% DV Fat: 2 g saturated + 0 g trans, 10% DV *Editor's note: Beyond Meat has informed Yahoo Canada they have updated their nutrition information. However, grocery store websites may still showcase previous nutrition data. Impossible Plant-Based Burgers Sodium: 370 mg, 16% DV Fat: 8 g saturated, 40% DV Yves The Good Veggie Burgers Sodium: 310 mg, 14% Fat: 0.2 g saturated, 3% DV Gardein Suprême Plant-Based Burgers Sodium: 420 mg, 18% DV Fat: 9 saturated + 0.1 g trans, 44% DV Veggie burgers Burger patties composed of vegetables, beans, grains and seasonings are an old-school vegetarian staple. Typically, these burgers are top-tier in healthiness regarding sodium and fat levels. Dr. Prager's California-Style Veggie Burgers Sodium: 250 mg, 10% DV Fat: 0 g saturated Big Mountain The Original Veggie Burgers Sodium: 135 mg, 6% DV Fat: 2 g saturated, 10% DV President's Choice Chickpea and Sweet Potato Veggie Burgers Sodium: 590 mg, 26% Fat: 9 g (including 1g saturated), 12% DV Wholly Veggie The Big Griller Veggie Burgers Sodium: 250 mg, 11% DV Fat: 0.5 g saturated, 5% DV Are hamburger buns also full of sodium? Another potential sodium minefield standing between you and a barbecue meal that meets your dietary needs are burger buns. Some buns, it seems, might have as much salt as the patties they're clasped around. Some buns from the D'Italiano brand have 16 per cent of your daily sodium allotment per bun. That means a burger with one of these buns could have as high as half your daily intake, depending on the variety of patty inside — and that's before you've put cheese or ketchup on it. Wonderbread white buns, meanwhile, clock in at 10 per cent of your daily sodium needs — as do Compliments brand brioche buns. Villaggio's Toscana buns have 12 per cent of your daily sodium allowance, while Dempster's hamburger buns clock in at 10 per cent. Don't forget the extra condiments Even though it tastes sweet, ketchup packs a sodium punch. At 50 grams — or about four tablespoon's worth — you're being delivered 18.5 per cent of your daily sodium recommendation. Mustard and relish aren't off the hook, either: According to the USDA, the average yellow mustard has 23.5 per cent of your daily sodium in a comparable amount. On the other hand, relish hovers around 16.5 per cent of your sodium needs for about four tablespoons. Adding cheese? One slice of Kraft Singles has 12 per cent of your sodium allowance, while Ziggy's brand cheddar slices offer seven per cent. It's possible that building the perfect burger could cost an entire day's worth of sodium intake if you're not careful. But simple swaps — like reaching for unprocessed cheese, going light on the condiments and checking the nutrition facts on the buns — can keep things in check, as will occasionally choosing patties made from chicken, fish and vegetables in place of beef. Get ready to light the grill!
Hamilton Spectator
4 days ago
- Hamilton Spectator
Is travel insurance worth it? What you should know before going on your next vacation
A perfect vacation comes with a carefully considered packing list, but it seems many Canadians may be not be prepared to pack one thing: travel insurance. Only 32 per cent of Canadians planning to travel intend to purchase emergency medical insurance as well as trip cancellation insurance, according to an October survey from TD Insurance. Even those travelling domestically are hesitant, with a recent CAA survey finding that four in 10 Canadians don't think travel insurance is necessary to purchase at all. Last month, the Star reported on a Toronto woman who went to the U.S. without travel insurance— a decision she says was a 'mistake' after being injured in a hit-and-run in Texas leading to more than $100,000 (U.S.) in medical bills . Those who choose not to get travel insurance cite cost as a reason. Thirty-six per cent of Gen Z participants and 16 per cent of millennial respondents in TD's survey said it's too expensive amid the increased cost of living across the country. But the out-of-pocket costs associated with losing luggage or becoming ill when you're away from home can be financially ruinous for those uninsured on a budget. So, is it worth getting travel insurance before embarking on a trip? Here's what you should know. Travel insurance comes in a range of packages, but generally, there are two types of travel insurance coverage — medical and trip interruption and cancellation. Travel health insurance covers unforeseen medical expenses while you're travelling. This may include hospital visits, doctor consultation fees and prescription medications while abroad. No matter where someone visits on vacation, according to the Government of Canada website, their travel health insurance policy should cover three things: Non-medical travel insurance typically covers a partial or total cost of rebooking a flight after a traveller faces cancellations or delays. This coverage also may cover lost baggage claims. Worth noting is that many travel insurance packages won't cover claims for trips in regions with a travel advisory issued by the Government of Canada. Going on an international or out-of-province adventure without travel insurance could be a gamble. Elliott Draga, president of the Travel Health Insurance Association of Canada (THIA), never travels without insurance and stresses that all Canadians should do the same, especially for medical coverage. 'At the end of the day, in the event that something unforeseen should happen, there is so much stress associated with that,' Draga said, noting that out-of-pocket costs could otherwise be exorbitant. 'Travel insurance can help to ease that stress.' Canadians enjoy free health care, however, 'the reality is the same rights don't apply when individuals travel overseas, and there are travel insurance policies that can offer protection in terms of covering medical expenses should they arise,' he said. In an interview with the Star, 22-year old Tesnim Hussein spoke about her decision not to purchase travel insurance before her recent trip to Texas. 'Not buying travel insurance was a mistake I think a lot of people make, not because we're careless, but because you just don't expect the worst to happen,' said Tesnim Hussein, 22, said, adding that she's travelled plenty before without any issues, and thought she'd be fine this time, too. 'It never crossed my mind that something so serious could happen.' 'I hope people can understand how quickly life can change and how much support really matters when it does.' Fifteen per cent of Canadian respondents in TD's survey say they could only cover up to $300 of out-of-pocket costs while 25 per cent wouldn't be able to handle any unforeseen expenses without help. Although it helps ease the cost of medical bills, certain travel insurance packages have limitations so it's important to do your research before purchasing. Health status at the time of your purchase has an influence on the type of insurance coverage you can get so it's important to consult with your physician and have medical history records on hand when seeking travel health insurance. Ontarians may be covered for partial reimbursement for some out-of-country medical costs under the Ontario Health Insurance Plan's (OHIP) Travellers Program , but this is quite limited and based on meeting certain criteria, including the costs being medically necessary and received at a licensed hospital or health facility. The plan's website says that it will reimburse outpatient visits at $50 each day or the amount billed by the hospital, whichever is less. It can also pay up to $400 each day for in-hospital services, depending on the level of care required. Ultimately, the province recommends travellers purchase health insurance before leaving the province to cover uninsured services. There are four golden rules for knowing what type of travel insurance fits for you, Draga says: know your health, trip, policy and rights. Before deciding on an insurance policy, it's worth checking your employer's insurance provider, your credit card company and bank if they have travel benefit packages that offer insurance. 'If you're going to pack a toothbrush, if you're going to pack toothpaste, you should be packing your travel insurance policy as well,' Draga says. If you do end up receiving medical care abroad while covered under travel insurance, you should request a detailed document and invoice from the doctor or hospital before travelling home. These original receipts and files for medical care services or prescriptions obtained outside your country should be kept and submitted to make your insurance claim. With files from Calvi Leon
Hamilton Spectator
4 days ago
- Hamilton Spectator
Canadian aid agency workers call for action saying starvation is rampant in Gaza
TORONTO - Canadian aid agencies say malnutrition and starvation is rampant among children in Gaza, as well as among the aid workers trying to help them. The Toronto-based president and CEO at Save the Children Canada said Friday the global agency's clinics are inundated by 200 to 300 people arriving each day. Danny Glenwright said there's been 'a tenfold' increase in the number of children suffering acute malnutrition over the past two months, and that even clinic staff are bringing their children in for help. 'Every single child is now coming in malnourished,' Glenwright said. 'We're also seeing their parents increasingly malnourished and skin-and-bones.' That's echoed by Canada's executive director of Doctors Without Borders, with Sana Beg adding that members of her organization have had to donate their own blood to patients because supplies are so short. Beg said Doctors Without Borders welcomed Canada's recent denunciation of the Israeli government for failing to prevent the humanitarian crisis but called for immediate concrete actions that would open borders to aid trucks carrying desperately needed food and medical supplies. 'Just recently we've had a couple of a handful of trucks that came in with the fuel that was required. A drop in the ocean of needs, really,' said Beg. 'We have no sterile equipment, we have no clean sheets in the hospitals, our hospitals themselves are barely functional, as I said. There is no adequate or safe passage for either civilians, patients, or aid workers to be able to even arrive at medical facilities such as hospitals or clinics.' International experts have warned that a 'worst-case scenario of famine' is playing out in Gaza, where Israel's military offensive against Hamas has made it nearly impossible to safely deliver food to starving people. Glenwright said Friday that Canadians should be upset by the crisis, calling it 'a profound moral, political, and legal failure.' 'There's no food anywhere else in Gaza and the limited supplies we have are running out,' said Glenwright, whose agency has a clinics in Khan Younis and one in Deir al Balah. 'The trucks that are sitting on the border — thousands of them with these life-saving supplies — are not being allowed in at the scale that is required. And it's a calamity.' Several aid agencies detailed a near-total collapse of the humanitarian system in a press conference Tuesday in London that included members of Oxfam, War Child Alliance, Save the Children International in Gaza and the Palestinian Non-Governmental Organizations Network. Prime Minister Mark Carney on Thursday accused the Israeli government of violating international law by denying aid as it controls aid distribution, and called on all sides to negotiate an immediate ceasefire. Beg detailed a catastrophic decline in a region where dire shortages had already forced some doctors to carry out surgeries and limb amputations without anesthesia. 'Today we're talking about a crisis that has magnified tenfold since then,' said Beg, noting premature babies now have to share a single ICU incubator. 'So three or four babies crowded into one incubator at the ICU. Our teams are talking about having to donate their own blood for the patients because there is such a shortage.' Beg said her organization, also known as Médecins Sans Frontières Canada, has about a thousand staff in Gaza, most of them locally hired Palestinians. About 30 to 35 international staff come in for temporary assignments, among them about five Canadians. As malnutrition cases increase, she said staff have had to make gruelling choices over who can be considered dire enough to receive treatment for severe acute malnutrition. Glenwright suggested Canada could do much more diplomatically and economically, noting how strongly the country mobilized to help Ukraine. 'Our government's inability to do more is shameful to all of us,' Glenwright said. 'Canadians can pressure their government – call your MP, say that you want candidates to do much more.' Beg agreed and called on Canadians to inform themselves about the crisis and act. 'Call your local MPs. Write to the Canadian government. Sign petitions,' she said. 'Make your voice heard. Use all of your avenues as a citizen of a democracy to speak truth to power.' – With files from The Associated Press. This report by The Canadian Press was first published Aug. 1, 2025. Error! Sorry, there was an error processing your request. There was a problem with the recaptcha. Please try again. You may unsubscribe at any time. By signing up, you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google privacy policy and terms of service apply. Want more of the latest from us? Sign up for more at our newsletter page .
