Splitting a restaurant bill with friends? Expert shares 'most desirable' approach

Fox News

23-05-2025

Dining out can be an expensive undertaking. Dining out with friends can be even more costly.
When dining with others at a restaurant, what's the best approach to settling the tab when the check arrives?
An etiquette expert revealed the best way to avoid those awkward moments or potential conflicts that could damage a friendship.
"It's not uncommon for friends at a restaurant to suggest at the end of the meal, 'Let's just split the bill equally,'" Diane Gottsman, founder and owner of the Protocol School of Texas in San Antonio, told Fox News Digital.
"At this point, there are several people at the table agreeing outwardly but secretly irritated that they are overpaying for other people's food and drink. It feels uncomfortable because no one wants to be the person that speaks up."
To avoid this situation, said Gottsman, it's important to communicate in advance.
Someone with financial constraints might be inclined to pay separately.
"Let the server know directly who you are going to be responsible for when the bill comes."
"The most desirable and sophisticated way to handle this situation is to look directly at the server when he approaches you and say, 'I'm going to take these two' or 'Please give me a separate check,'" said Gottsman.
"Let the server know directly who you are going to be responsible for when the bill comes. It's always better to separate it at the beginning rather than at the end."
If you do decide to split the bill evenly, it's best to know what the others at your table are eating or drinking.
Alcohol can quickly add up when it comes to the final bill, which might leave some feeling uneasy, especially if someone else at your table isn't drinking.
"If someone decides to order an extremely expensive bottle of wine, for example, you can speak up and say, 'Hey guys, please enjoy, but I don't want to pay for that wine because I'm not drinking. Letting you know now.'"
Splitting a bill down the middle can sometimes be the easiest, least-complicated way to handle things, but people with children should consider paying separately, said Gottsman.
"You should also not expect for everyone to assume that splitting the bill is going to be appreciated," she said.
"If you speak out once, there are going to be several others [who] are going to take a huge sigh of relief because you verbalized what they were thinking."
Another piece of advice, Gottsman told Fox News Digital, is to avoid such scenarios with someone who you know "historically gouges you on the bill."
"You can say, I'm going to pass on the invitation, but let's get together next week for lunch," said Gottsman. "In other words, accept an invitation where you can navigate how the bill is paid."
In the end, said Gottsman, setting expectations is one of the best ways "to get around this uncomfortable yet common scenario."