Shabbat Clubs In New York Are Helping Jewish Adults Find Their Tribe

Forbes

2 days ago

Gathering for Shabbat or any of the many Jewish holidays brings smiles to the attendees of these Shabbat Club celebrations. Shabbat Club
Looking to find your people on a Friday night? Join the club.
Literally, as this is about Shabbat clubs, popping up all over New York City and beyond on Friday nights, per the Jewish tradition. However, many of these clubs do stray a bit from traditional, including Shabbats with cell phone use and bumping music, speed dating Shabbat and even Shabbats with a central theme of cannabis amongst the challah and candles.
'Meeting new people in the Jewish community completely changed my life within months,' said Morgan Raum, 28, and founder of Shabbat Club. 'I needed that in my early 20s and didn't have a clear way to access it. Shabbat helped me find the like-minded, smart, creative, and successful people who became my close friends, collaborators, and part of my community. So to me, Shabbat is about rest, ritual, and bringing light into your life through other people.'
Raum, who is also a food influencer @tooomuchfoood, started Shabbat Club after hosting a one-off singles event for the dating app Lox Club in July 2023, and now her own club has over 20,000 followers on Instagram alone. There are three different types of events she offers; traditional Shabbat dinners on Fridays, select Jewish holiday parties, and 'Almost Shabbat' mixers on Thursdays.
'On Shabbat, we always start with blessings over challah, candles, and wine before sitting down to eat. The crowd is mostly culturally Jewish, some are first-timers, others have been to ten or more,' Raum explained. 'Our holiday events incorporate rituals like a full Passover or Rosh Hashanah seder, but we still keep things approachable.'
'The Thursday night mixers are more casual and hosted at Jewish-owned or Israeli spots like Shmoné Wine, Edith's Sandwich Counter, and Zizi Wine Bar. The venues, food and drinks include culturally Jewish aspects, like pastrami sliders on challah and mini arayes,' she continued.
The approachable part of Shabbat is something that the founders of Elevate Shabbat also wanted to include in their events, transforming what once was a simple Friday night dinner in an apartment to what is now a full evening that begins with blessings, moves into dinner and dessert and finishes out as a popping afterparty with a DJ.
Events can range from smaller gatherings to groups of over 100, as seen at this Elevate event. Elevate Shabbat
'We always say the blessings over the candles, wine, challah; This is never missed. We are also inclusive to all faiths and backgrounds—we want everyone to experience Shabbat,' said Jenny Assaf, community director of Elevate Shabbat. 'The whole structure is not typical of Shabbat, especially our live music program. We believe that music is the soul of our Shabbats, and that it brings us into our bodies.'
The reason that live music may not be typical is that for religious Jews, once the sun sets on Friday nights, it is prohibited to use electricity again until the sun sets on Saturday. This comes from the tradition of not doing any work during the day of rest, and work includes anything related to building, creating or kindling a fire—which has been modernized to mean creating a spark with electronics. Finding community after tragedy
Hot and Holy is yet another group of young adults with a mission of combining tradition and fun, founded by 28-year-olds Nicole Lefkowitz and Sydney Lorch. Like some of the other groups, they made a point to call out the events of October 7, 2023 as one of the reasons they continue to gather and celebrate their Jewish identities.
A Hot and Shabbat event filled with food and friends. @dennis_crystal
'Hot and Holy was inspired by a shared desire amongst me and Nicole to become more involved in the Jewish community and celebrate our Jewish identity in a post-October 7th world,' said Lorch.
'We found that a lot of people had the same desire as us, so we threw our first event together in December 2023—a Hanukkah fundraiser,' Lefkowitz continued. 'The following day we were recapping the event and decided to make this a real thing, so Hot and Holy was born. It is crazy to think that we struggled to fill the room with 80 people that night and now we host 100-300 person events and sell out every time.'
After an Oct. 7 fundraiser that Andrew Cohen, founder of Elevate Shabbat, held for Israel Friends at the GOSPËL nightclub in SoHo, it led to a monthly Shabbat residency there, inspiring the continued celebration of the group's faith.
With anti-semitism on the rise, these events are a way that all of the founders and attendees have found the joy in their Judaism again, as one of the main pillars of the religion and the culture itself is perseverance and celebration. Traditional or not, Shabbat truly is for everyone in NYC
A beautiful part of the Jewish culture is that you are encouraged to find your own path, and many of these groups are doing just that by creating niches within the basics of the Friday night gathering.
A rainbow challah makes for a beautiful, inclusive Shabbat with the Gay Shabbat club. Gat Shabbat
While there are a few common threads among all the Shabbat clubs in this story, like lighting candles and eating meals together, there are other elements that set each group apart.
Gay Shabbat, for example, has the identifier right in the name, founded by 26-year-old Blake Fonberg.
'The idea for Gay Shabbat came after going to an event that was meant for queer Jews, but it was hosted by a straight-run organization. The intentions were good, but it wasn't a space made by LGBTQ+ Jews, so it didn't feel as authentic,' said Fonberg. 'After talking with a bunch of people there about how frustrating it was to constantly feel othered, we decided to make something of our own.'
The first event invites were sent out via the Hinge dating app, held in a small apartment and included home-cooked food and bottles of wine. Now, as Fonberg shares, these events have over 100 people and have been held at larger venues, but they maintain the same heart and soul as the more intimate gatherings.
'What makes Gay Shabbat different is that our only requirement is that you're LGBTQ+ and Jewish—that's the heart of it,' said Fonberg. 'We're not a synagogue, we're not a members-only club, and we're not just a dinner party. Questioning? Lesbian? Gay? Reform? Orthodox? Doesn't matter; We're a community where you can show up without sacrificing any part of who you are.'
A table at Infused Shabbat typically has infused drinks and other party favors for the guests to partake with Courtney Fahlin
Finding your community via identity is one thing, but some clubs go even more niche and have combined two different cultures—the Jewish one and the culture of cannabis.
Danit Sibovits is the founder of Infused Shabbat Dinners, which, as she puts it, is for the stoner Jews.
'There are infused dinners and Shabbat dinners, but no one in New York was doing infused Shabbat dinners,' said Sibovits. 'Actually, no one was doing anything for stoner Jews. There were just no events going on to bring us together in the cannabis space.'
'We light candles, say kiddush and motzi, and serve a beautiful 3-course meal. These are the anchors that are so important to us. Besides the modern cannabis infusions, we also incorporate curated playlists, diverse guests, and thoughts for the hostages [of Oct. 7th.] The heart of it is traditional but with a modern twist for current times,' she added.
Morgan, the founder of Shabbat Club, poses with a giant challah bread before the group dives in. Shabbat Club
The modern twist is indeed modern, but due to the legalization of recreational use in 2021, adding the infused element is easy when living in NYC.
During the dinner, no guest is required to partake, noted Sibovitz, as the actual cannabis is infused into olive oil and can be added—or left off of—the food. You can also choose to drink infused drinks or pass around the traditional stuff, all while singing, eating, and enjoying the weekly holiday together.
'Cannabis is a piece of it, a tool for it, but not the centerpiece,' said Sibovitz. 'Incorporating cannabis in Shabbat helps to enhance connection, presence, and creativity—not to distract. For some, it's part of their wellness ritual including its effects on depression and anxiety. For others, it's just there if they want it. People want to explore. they want to ask questions—not just about cannabis, but about Judaism as well. Infused Shabbat creates a space where people feel safe and included. It's all about intention—and that's deeply Jewish.' It's Friday night—how to get involved in Judaism
Shabbat Club also hosts other holidays, like a Passover Seder pictured here. Shabbat Club
All of the founders mentioned at one point or another that the best way to start to get closer to their culture or religion was to just step out of your comfort zone and find a community, like you can with any of the Shabbat clubs and groups listed above.
'One of the most important things I've learned is that there's no one right way to be Jewish or celebrate Shabbat,' said Raum, of Shabbat Club. 'A lot of us didn't grow up religious, don't attend synagogue, or never felt like we had a place in more traditional Jewish spaces. Without these culturally Jewish events, we wouldn't have an accessible way to connect with our Judaism.'
Raum is proof that it's never too late to start your Jewish journey, as the other founders and members agreed with as well.
'I didn't grow up very religious. Honestly, I used to cry when I had to go to Hebrew School,' said Lefkowitz of Hot and Holy. 'But even back then, deep down, I knew I wanted to feel connected to the Jewish community, I just didn't know how that would happen.'
Hot and Shabbat starts off with the traditions, like the blessing over the challah, and then continues into a full evening of food and fun. @dennis_crystal
For those that still don't feel quite ready to dive into a dinner, or may not live in an area with such an abundance of Shabbat clubs to join, there are still plenty of other ways to get a taste of the culture and religion.
'Start small. Light candles on Friday night. Call your grandma. Eat a bagel. Do whatever feels doable. Judaism doesn't have to be all or nothing,' said Fonberg, of Gay Shabbat. 'If synagogue feels intimidating, don't go yet. Find a friend, go to a Shabbat dinner, or just talk to someone else who's figuring it out too. You're not alone. Judaism is meant to be lived, not perfected. So just start living a little more Jewishly—whatever that means to you.' MORE FROM FORBES Forbes Get Branded: Companies Are Giving Free Tattoos Instead Of Goodie Bags By Sophie Liza Cannon Forbes How Right To Repair Laws And Communities Are Eliminating Waste By Sophie Liza Cannon Forbes Predicting Influencer Baby Names Is The TikTok Trend To Follow In 2025 By Sophie Liza Cannon Forbes 2025 Music Festival Guide: The New, The Cool And The Crazy By Sophie Liza Cannon