Thankful for my dad's failings this Father's Day

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The last Father's Day I got to spend with my dad was 17 years ago. I watched Tiger Woods contend for his third U.S. Open Championship, sitting in the family room with the man who taught me how to play golf when I was ten years old. It was a special day. My dad died less than five months later.
As this Father's Day approaches, I find myself in a reflective mood thinking about the things my dad did and didn't do. The more I reflect, the more I find myself focusing on his failings.
My dad failed when it came to not influencing me to believe in God. While some dads believe they should leave the choice of faith up to their kids, my father was convinced it was his responsibility to pass on to his children their need of a Savior. As Dad and I watched the 2008 Summer Olympics, we groaned in unison as the U.S. men's 4x100 meter relay team dropped the baton and failed to qualify for the finals. My father contrasted the dropped baton to what happens in a family when parents fail to pass on spiritual faith to their progeny.
My dad failed to put time with my brother and me ahead of time with our mom. His relationship with his wife always came first. But, I didn't mind. I loved seeing my parents' love grow. It gave me a sense of security. In the process of prioritizing his marriage, my dad showed me by personal example how to remain true to one's wedding vows and invest in a growing romance.
My dad failed at keeping his promises. On more than one occasion when I was misbehaving, he promised that he would renege on taking me to a special event on which I had my young heart set. But, when I showed a repentant heart and asked for forgiveness, he failed at following through on his declared discipline. His willingness to give me grace provided me a picture of my Heavenly Father's love.
My dad failed to brag about what he did in World War II. As part of the 'Greatest Generation,' he kept quiet about his life as a Marine. The sacrifices he made and the horrors he witnessed were not to be trivialized by casual conversation. His service to his Uncle Sam was not viewed as heroic. He saw it as his grateful duty. Only near the end of his life did he share aspects of his experiences he wanted his family to know.
My dad failed to keep the name he was given at birth. While he was humble when it came to his contribution to protect our freedoms in combat, my father was quite proud of his Greek ancestry. Although he understood why his immigrant father had taken an American name (Smith) upon becoming a citizen, Dad didn't want his Greek name to be lost forever. In 1969 he petitioned the courts to take Asimakoupoulos back. I will forever be grateful for that action.
My dad failed to model the popular notion that claims grown men don't cry. I saw my dad shed a tear on multiple occasions. A tender heart beat within his Semper Fi physique. His willingness to show his emotions gave me permission to acknowledge my feelings without fear for what other would think.
My dad failed getting me to join him and my brother in the family business. Fortunately, my father was aware of my call to pastoral ministry. He could tell that my gifts would not be best utilized in property management and maintenance. Affirming my skill set, he released me to follow my heart even though it meant I would live at a distance from my folks. It meant a great deal to me that he celebrated my calling.
As you can clearly see, I had a failure for a father. But I'm hardly sorry. I hope that my kids will come to the same conclusion about me one day when I am gone.
Pastor Greg Asimakoupoulos is a retired minister and chaplain and a descendant of one of the founding families in Poulsbo. He writes an occasional column for the Kitsap Sun.
This article originally appeared on Kitsap Sun: Remembering my dad's failings on Father's Day | Opinion

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Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise

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Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise

Her father wanted her to have half his ashes, while the other half would go to his wife Despite legal protection of his wishes, her stepmother keeps harassing her to divide her portion She's accused of punishing her half-siblings, but says she's just honoring her dad — and protecting her peaceA woman turns to the Reddit community for support after a deeply personal family dispute over her late father's ashes leaves her feeling conflicted and alone. In her post, she shares that her dad's passing has reopened old wounds, especially regarding her relationship with his second wife and their children. 'My dad died recently and he appointed his brother, my uncle, to ensure his final wishes were respected,' she writes. She explains that her father was married twice: first to her mother, who passed away when she was 3, and then to his second wife, whom he married when she was 15. The relationship with her stepmother was never easy, and the arrival of her half-siblings did little to bridge the gap. 'Dad and I had a solid relationship but she and I did not and I really never had one with the other kids either,' the woman reveals. Her father's final wishes were clear and carefully planned. 'His wishes were for half his ashes to go to his wife so she could start a grave for them and the other half was for me so he could also be with mom,' she explains, adding, 'My mom was cremated too and I have her ashes as well.' This arrangement, however, did not sit well with her father's widow, who tried to claim all the ashes for herself. 'But my dad had planned everything and had legally ensured his wishes were followed with the help of my uncle,' she notes, grateful for the foresight that protected her father's intentions. After the funeral, she made the difficult decision to cut off contact with her stepmother in an attempt to seek peace and closure for herself. Regardless, her stepmom has contacted her "at least 11 times," saying that she "needs to share my half of the ashes with my half-siblings because they have none and we each have half." She tried to block her stepmother, but the messages kept coming from new numbers, making it impossible to escape the pressure. 'I am trying to get my number changed but I use this phone for work too so I need a process of approval to do it,' she explains. Her aunt, her father's sister, also got involved in the conflict, suggesting that they "combine dad's ashes and split them four ways so everyone gets the same amount." When the poster said no, her aunt said that she "shouldn't take my hatred of wife number two out on the kids." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The aunt also voiced her disapproval over the poster's decision to cut ties with her stepmom and half-siblings. However, the poster has done her best to make it clear that her boundaries are about self-preservation, not spite. Now she's wondering if her refusal to share her half of her father's ashes makes her the villain in this painful family saga. However, most commenters suggested that her stepmom simply shares her portion of the ashes with their children, noting that it's not the poster's "responsibility." "You share my thoughts," the poster replied. "It makes more sense that way seeing as they're her kids and she wants them to have their own share." In response to another user, the woman further explains that her late dad "wanted to honor both [his] wives," which was why "he chose to have his ashes with both." Read the original article on People