Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise
Despite legal protection of his wishes, her stepmother keeps harassing her to divide her portion
She's accused of punishing her half-siblings, but says she's just honoring her dad — and protecting her peaceA woman turns to the Reddit community for support after a deeply personal family dispute over her late father's ashes leaves her feeling conflicted and alone.
In her post, she shares that her dad's passing has reopened old wounds, especially regarding her relationship with his second wife and their children.
'My dad died recently and he appointed his brother, my uncle, to ensure his final wishes were respected,' she writes. She explains that her father was married twice: first to her mother, who passed away when she was 3, and then to his second wife, whom he married when she was 15.
The relationship with her stepmother was never easy, and the arrival of her half-siblings did little to bridge the gap. 'Dad and I had a solid relationship but she and I did not and I really never had one with the other kids either,' the woman reveals.
Her father's final wishes were clear and carefully planned. 'His wishes were for half his ashes to go to his wife so she could start a grave for them and the other half was for me so he could also be with mom,' she explains, adding, 'My mom was cremated too and I have her ashes as well.'
This arrangement, however, did not sit well with her father's widow, who tried to claim all the ashes for herself.
'But my dad had planned everything and had legally ensured his wishes were followed with the help of my uncle,' she notes, grateful for the foresight that protected her father's intentions. After the funeral, she made the difficult decision to cut off contact with her stepmother in an attempt to seek peace and closure for herself.
Regardless, her stepmom has contacted her "at least 11 times," saying that she "needs to share my half of the ashes with my half-siblings because they have none and we each have half."
She tried to block her stepmother, but the messages kept coming from new numbers, making it impossible to escape the pressure.
'I am trying to get my number changed but I use this phone for work too so I need a process of approval to do it,' she explains.
Her aunt, her father's sister, also got involved in the conflict, suggesting that they "combine dad's ashes and split them four ways so everyone gets the same amount."
When the poster said no, her aunt said that she "shouldn't take my hatred of wife number two out on the kids."
Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The aunt also voiced her disapproval over the poster's decision to cut ties with her stepmom and half-siblings.
However, the poster has done her best to make it clear that her boundaries are about self-preservation, not spite.
Now she's wondering if her refusal to share her half of her father's ashes makes her the villain in this painful family saga.
However, most commenters suggested that her stepmom simply shares her portion of the ashes with their children, noting that it's not the poster's "responsibility."
"You share my thoughts," the poster replied. "It makes more sense that way seeing as they're her kids and she wants them to have their own share."
In response to another user, the woman further explains that her late dad "wanted to honor both [his] wives," which was why "he chose to have his ashes with both."
Read the original article on People
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Forbes
16 minutes ago
- Forbes
5 Ways To Showcase Your Work Ethic And Time Management Skills
Kent Ingle is president of Southeastern University, author of several leadership books and host of the Framework Leadership podcast. In today's competitive job market, students and young professionals often wonder how they can stand out. My answer? Intentional time management, paired with a proactive mindset and a rhythm of weekly wins. This idea first came up in a conversation I had with a student leader. He was juggling classes, a part-time job and a leadership role in student government. When I asked how he kept track of his progress, he smiled and said, 'Each week, I just try to knock out five real wins, things that move me forward.' That stuck with me. Since then, I've started using this same principle in my own life. Whether I'm preparing a keynote, mentoring a student or writing an article like this, I jot down five things I want to walk away with by the end of the week. It's simple, but it builds momentum. The key, though, is how you apply it. Striving for five big things a day or even a week can be overwhelming if you don't approach it with wisdom. Here are five ways to embrace this mindset in a way that maximizes productivity and protects your well-being: 1. Set achievable goals to maintain consistency. Success doesn't come from a single massive breakthrough. It comes from showing up daily and chipping away at meaningful goals. I tell our students this often: You don't have to change the world in a week; just move the needle. Last semester, one of our first-year students set a weekly goal to have one meaningful conversation with a faculty member. It wasn't flashy, but by the end of the term, those conversations helped her land an internship. That's the power of small, consistent wins. Use tools like the SMART goal framework to keep your weekly wins realistic and focused. Progress compounds, and over time, I think you'll find that consistent effort opens doors you didn't expect. 2. Use your weekly wins to demonstrate value. Tracking accomplishments isn't just a motivational tool—it's a strategic career move. Employers and mentors look for individuals who can clearly articulate their contributions. By keeping a record of weekly wins, you can not only boost your confidence but also build a personal portfolio of achievements that can be referenced in performance reviews, interviews and networking conversations. Try tracking three things each week: what you accomplished, what skill or strength you used and what impact it had. For example, I started keeping a 'win journal' after realizing how quickly the weeks blur together. Mine isn't fancy, just a page in my Notes app where I log what went well. A few weeks ago, I wrote down: 'Helped a student land a job interview by coaching them through a mock panel.' That win may not make headlines, but it mattered. Having this running list ready to go helps you speak clearly about your contributions when it matters most, whether in job interviews or team reviews. 3. Balance productivity with rest. Many professionals and students believe that more hours equal more success, but research proves otherwise. Overworking can actually lead to diminishing returns, where exhaustion causes mistakes and reduces efficiency. The most effective workers balance deep work with strategic rest periods. One helpful method is the Pomodoro Technique, working in focused 25- or 50-minute sessions followed by short 5- to 10-minute breaks. This method helps keep your mind fresh and prevents burnout. So, instead of aiming for constant busyness, focus on high-impact work during designated periods, then take intentional breaks. This balance can help you achieve sustained productivity and long-term success without compromising health and well-being. 4. Communicate progress. In the workplace, effort alone isn't enough. Visibility matters. A common mistake young professionals make is assuming that managers or professors will automatically notice their hard work. In reality, those who communicate progress effectively are often the ones who get promoted or recognized. Some ways to showcase your work ethic include sending brief updates on projects to your supervisor or team, keeping a shared document with weekly progress summaries or setting up periodic check-ins with mentors to discuss your contributions and career goals. We encourage student leaders to send brief weekly updates to their mentors or team. One of our interns recently emailed me a simple note: 'Hey Dr. Ingle, just wanted to let you know I finished the project early and added in that feedback from last week. Excited for you to see it.' That 30-second email told me everything I needed to know about her initiative and follow-through. Whether you're in a class, internship or entry-level job, learn to articulate what you're doing, why it matters and how it's helping the team win. That's leadership. 5. Cultivate a habit of continuous learning. The most successful individuals never stop learning. In today's fast-changing job market, those who consistently develop new skills and stay updated in their industry position themselves for long-term success. There are multiple ways to build a habit of learning: • Read industry news and articles regularly. • Take online courses or certifications to expand your skill set. • Find a mentor to guide you in your career path. • Attend workshops and networking events to meet industry leaders. Last year, I set a goal to read one new book a month related to leadership, theology or innovation. I didn't hit every month, but the ones I did finish sparked new ideas and deepened my perspective. Lifelong learners don't need perfect records. They need curiosity and discipline. Focusing on five accomplishments a week isn't about pressure. It's about purpose. It's about building a rhythm of intentional growth, celebrating real progress and learning to lead yourself well before you lead others. Start tracking your wins. I think you'll be surprised at how far they'll take you. Forbes Business Council is the foremost growth and networking organization for business owners and leaders. Do I qualify?
CNET
44 minutes ago
- CNET
This 75-Year-Old BBQ Chicken Recipe Still Beats Every Trendy One I've Tried
In the summer, I rotate between my air fryer, cast-iron skillet and grill depending on the weather and my mood. That's why I love recipes that work well with all three, and Cornell chicken is a perfect example. This classic barbecue dish has been around for more than 75 years, and it's still one of the best ways to make grilled chicken. Cornell chicken comes from an unlikely place. It was created by Robert Baker, a Cornell University food science professor with a passion for poultry and a deep knowledge of flavor. His vinegar-based marinade uses a handful of pantry staples, but the results are anything but basic. The chicken comes out crisp on the outside, juicy inside, and full of tangy flavor. Whether you cook it on the grill, in a skillet, or in the air fryer, this recipe proves you don't need anything fancy to get incredible results. It's simple, versatile, and perfect for summer meals. Don't miss any of CNET's unbiased tech content and lab-based reviews. Add us as a preferred Google source on Chrome. The beauty of Cornell chicken is its simplicity. No bottled sauces, no fancy tools -- just a time-tested formula that works whether you're grilling over charcoal, gas, or even using your oven's broiler. It's one of the earliest recorded barbecue chicken recipes in the U.S., and it's still a favorite in upstate New York for good reason. One bite and it's clear: this Ivy League bird has serious backyard cred. Whether you like to cook your summer bird in an air fryer, over a cast-iron skillet or directly on the grates of your gas or pellet smoker -- I made this recipe on all three and it worked each time -- this simple and straightforward marinade is easy to make in large batches and worth adding to your rotation. What's special about Cornell chicken? Baker is a Northeast barbecue legend. Baker wrote the proverbial book on barbecue chicken, according to many, after extensive recipe testing in the 1950s. He was unhappy with the bland state of American cuisine and created this recipe to help serve tasty food en masse at large cookouts. "Cornell chicken," as it's known, is beautifully simple and remains one of the most lauded chicken marinades and summer cookout recipes. You'll find Cornell chicken served at restaurants, particularly in upstate New York, where the university is located, family picnics, food fairs and festivals across the country. What's different about Cornell chicken? Cornell chicken uses one unusual element, a beaten egg, to add a creamy coating and let the chicken skin get crispy without burning. There's also poultry seasoning for depth of flavor and vinegar to add tang and help the marinade penetrate. If you're wondering how to make Cornell chicken, it's easy -- use just five ingredients and a similar cooking method to traditional barbecue chicken. This chicken marinade is vinegar-based so it's akin more to a Carolina style than the sweet Kansas City or St. Louis styles. Baker suggests using a charcoal grill to keep unwieldy flames from cooking the skin unevenly. The barbecue chicken recipe is about as simple as it gets. Baker's cooking technique is a little more meticulous. How to make perfect Cornell chicken Ingredients Bone-in chicken pieces 1/2 cup vegetable cooking oil 1 cup apple cider vinegar 1.5 teaspoons poultry seasoning 1 beaten egg Salt and pepper to taste Let the marinade do its thing for at least three hours. David Watsky/CNET Directions Step 1 : Beat the egg. Add oil and beat again. : Beat the egg. Add oil and beat again. Step 2 : Whisk together all the ingredients in a bowl. : Whisk together all the ingredients in a bowl. Step 3 : Add chicken pieces and toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least three hours and up to 24 hours. : Add chicken pieces and toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least three hours and up to 24 hours. Step 4 : Place coated chicken on a medium-high grill (Baker suggests charcoal) or hot cast-iron skillet and reserve any leftover marinade. : Place coated chicken on a medium-high grill (Baker suggests charcoal) or hot cast-iron skillet and reserve any leftover marinade. Step 5 : Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, flipping and basting the chicken with leftover sauce every five minutes. The basting should be light at first and grow heavier toward the end of cooking. : Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, flipping and basting the chicken with leftover sauce every five minutes. The basting should be light at first and grow heavier toward the end of cooking. Step 6: Cook until internal temperature reaches 160 degrees F. Baker recommends a charcoal grill but gas works fine, too. David Watsky/CNET Can you make Cornell chicken in an air fryer? Yes and I did. I put half of my batch in the air fryer and the other half over a hot flame the way Baker intended. Both methods worked well. The grill gave me a slightly more caramelized char while the air fryer was faster and there was less to clean up. Baker included instructions on how to build a fire pit but you can choose a charcoal or gas grill and get similar results. Can you use any chicken for Cornell chicken? Baker's original recipe calls for broilers (small whole chickens), but this recipe can be applied to any bone-in, skin-on chicken. You can use boneless, skinless chicken, but you won't get that coveted crispy skin that Baker's Cornell chicken recipe aces. As it turns out, some forum users have even experimented with using the Cornell chicken cooking recipe on wings -- to pretty immediate success. One person from the r/Wings subreddit shared their successful Cornell chicken wings, after using the same basic six-step process included in Baker's original recipe. If you don't feel like making this sauce, these are the best bottled barbecue sauces we've tried. Now Playing: Best Air Fryers: Cheap vs. Expensive 19:24 Cornell chicken FAQs What is the most important ingredient for Cornell chicken? Aside from the obvious -- the bone-in chicken -- the apple cider vinegar is perhaps the most important part of the Cornell chicken marinade. It adds a unique "tang" and a depth of flavor that defines Baker's BBQ recipe. Adding the egg also allows the skin to crisp over, adding a great texture to bite into.
Bloomberg
an hour ago
- Bloomberg
Women's Earnings Never Really Recover After They Have Children
By By the time they hit their mid-30s, women raised on the expectation of ' having it all ' often face a rude reality: There are only so many hours in the day. Juggling full-time jobs, young children and household tasks leaves scores of women burned out and exhausted. Corinne Low, a professor of business economics and public policy at the Wharton School, calls this familiar phenomenon 'the squeeze.' It shows up clearly in time use data the US government collects from households, she says: 'You see just this mountain in child care and housework time at the same time as women are trying to invest in their careers.' For men, the time use impact of those converging demands looks more like 'a little anthill,' she says. In her forthcoming book, Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours, Low presents a powerful case that the squeeze reverberates through families' lives long after kids are out of diapers. For the typical US woman, time expenditure at home peaks before income does. This means women can't afford to outsource tasks such as housecleaning or food preparation so they can carve out more hours to focus on getting ahead at work. Their careers can suffer: Some move into less taxing, lower-paying jobs or drop out of the workforce entirely. Others keep grinding but get passed over for promotions. Low cites a study from Sweden that found companies don't give as many promotions to women as men—even women who never have children—to avoid the work disruption and cost of a potential maternity leave.
