Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise

Yahoo

8 hours ago

Her father wanted her to have half his ashes, while the other half would go to his wife
Despite legal protection of his wishes, her stepmother keeps harassing her to divide her portion
She's accused of punishing her half-siblings, but says she's just honoring her dad — and protecting her peaceA woman turns to the Reddit community for support after a deeply personal family dispute over her late father's ashes leaves her feeling conflicted and alone.
In her post, she shares that her dad's passing has reopened old wounds, especially regarding her relationship with his second wife and their children.
'My dad died recently and he appointed his brother, my uncle, to ensure his final wishes were respected,' she writes. She explains that her father was married twice: first to her mother, who passed away when she was 3, and then to his second wife, whom he married when she was 15.
The relationship with her stepmother was never easy, and the arrival of her half-siblings did little to bridge the gap. 'Dad and I had a solid relationship but she and I did not and I really never had one with the other kids either,' the woman reveals.
Her father's final wishes were clear and carefully planned. 'His wishes were for half his ashes to go to his wife so she could start a grave for them and the other half was for me so he could also be with mom,' she explains, adding, 'My mom was cremated too and I have her ashes as well.'
This arrangement, however, did not sit well with her father's widow, who tried to claim all the ashes for herself.
'But my dad had planned everything and had legally ensured his wishes were followed with the help of my uncle,' she notes, grateful for the foresight that protected her father's intentions. After the funeral, she made the difficult decision to cut off contact with her stepmother in an attempt to seek peace and closure for herself.
Regardless, her stepmom has contacted her "at least 11 times," saying that she "needs to share my half of the ashes with my half-siblings because they have none and we each have half."
She tried to block her stepmother, but the messages kept coming from new numbers, making it impossible to escape the pressure.
'I am trying to get my number changed but I use this phone for work too so I need a process of approval to do it,' she explains.
Her aunt, her father's sister, also got involved in the conflict, suggesting that they "combine dad's ashes and split them four ways so everyone gets the same amount."
When the poster said no, her aunt said that she "shouldn't take my hatred of wife number two out on the kids."
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The aunt also voiced her disapproval over the poster's decision to cut ties with her stepmom and half-siblings.
However, the poster has done her best to make it clear that her boundaries are about self-preservation, not spite.
Now she's wondering if her refusal to share her half of her father's ashes makes her the villain in this painful family saga.
However, most commenters suggested that her stepmom simply shares her portion of the ashes with their children, noting that it's not the poster's "responsibility."
"You share my thoughts," the poster replied. "It makes more sense that way seeing as they're her kids and she wants them to have their own share."
In response to another user, the woman further explains that her late dad "wanted to honor both [his] wives," which was why "he chose to have his ashes with both."
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