Gary Lineker is a joke
After a lifetime of being irritated by too many public figures to name, a few years back I discovered a way to bypass this minor but persistent feature of modern life. Whenever their asinine blatherings are splashed over the media, don't read them as if they were the thoughts and utterances of reasonable – or even real people. Simply think of them as great comic creations of the type we see on screen in a 'mockumentary'. Nigel Tufnel from Spinal Tap, David Brent from The Office or Alan Partridge. Instantly, your irritation will melt away and you can enjoy a good old snigger instead.
This clever trick first occurred to me when my fuming at the malignant foolishness of Meghan Markle started to affect my good humour some years back. Every day, it seemed, she would be pontificating about feminism or racism and being given an international platform to do so – for no other apparent reason but that a rather dim aristo picked her.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mirror
6 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Scrubs-style medical comedy from top US writers airs on BBC1 tonight
If you're looking for your next laugh, BBC1 is showing St Denis Medical, a workplace comedy with a big heart From the Superstore team, St Denis Medical (on tonight, June 6, on BBC1 at 10.40pm) is a funny and charming workplace comedy that could easily run for many seasons. The mockumentary-style sitcom is created by Justin Spitzer and Eric Ledgin - Justin is a top showrunner, best known for his work on Superstore, with other credits including Scrubs and the American version of The Office. The US show introduces us to St. Denis Medical, a safety-net hospital in Oregon, although hospital boss Joyce (The Goldbergs' Wendi McLendon-Covey) is trying to promote it as 'an international medical destination'. It begins as supervising nurse Alex, played by the brilliant Allison Tolman (you'll recognise her from Fargo and Good Girls), helps a drug addict in the ER. Alex is a workaholic who thinks the emergency ward would collapse without her - although she's probably right. On reception, her overworked colleague Val (Kaliko Kauahi, you'll know her as Superstore's Sandra), tries to handle a restless queue of patients. New staff nurse Matt (Mekki Leeper) is late on his first day - coming from a remote community that doesn't believe in medicine, he'll be starting with the basics. He thinks he's one of the Avengers, but he's completely useless. Making up this eclectic team are jaded Dr Ron (David Alan Grier), nurse Serena (Kahyun Kim) and surgeon Bruce (Josh Lawson), who keeps a samurai sword and a guitar in his office next to all his certificates and thinks he's a detective doctor like 'House'. He's not. This is not a glossy, glamorous medical drama - it's more Scrubs than Grey's, as the under-funded but dedicated staff try not to lose their patience or their patients. Expect lots of laughs and slapstick humour, but also, just when you least expect it, a lot of heart. Starts with a double-bill. *St Denis Medical is airing on BBC1 tonight at 10.40pm There's plenty more on TV tonight - here's the best of the rest.. ALISON HAMMOND'S BIG WEEKEND, BBC1, 8.30pm A cackling, warm-hearted open book, it's no wonder celebrities will tell Alison anything. The series so far has been engaging and fun and this time she spends a big weekend with Scary Spice herself, Mel B. They begin in Mel's hometown of Leeds, where she has built a new life following her high-profile divorce from second husband, Stephen Belafonte. A far cry from her popstar days, Mel's daily routine now involves helping feed the chickens and goats on her working farm. Of course, Alison (a Spice Girls fan obviously) also finds out about life in the band and discovers that Mel and Geri still have a tumultuous relationship, speaking one day and not the next. The visit takes a heartfelt turn when Alison meets Mel's mother, Andrea. They reflect on the challenges of Mel's past, including her time in America and her troubled marriage, which strained their mother-daughter bond for years. THE SURVIVORS, NETFLIX Your latest binge watch is right here, a gripping murder mystery based on Jane Harper's novel of the same name. Set in a tightly-knit Tasmanian community, a place where everyone knows everyone's secrets, this six-episode limited series explores what happens when people have to reckon with a past trauma. Charlie Vickers stars as Kieran Elliott, whose life changed forever when two young men drowned and a young girl went missing in his hometown of Evelyn Bay during a storm. Fifteen years later, returning with partner Mia (Yerin Ha) and young child, the guilt that still haunts him resurfaces. When the body of a young woman is found on the beach, the town is once again rocked by tragedy and questions surface about the past. The investigation of her death threatens to reveal long-held secrets, the truth about the missing girl, and a killer among them. A drama about grief and loss and also a thrilling whodunit. EMMERDALE, ITV1, 7.30pm Cain is still reeling after Nate's body was identified and he was questioned by the police. He's been having flashbacks about the last time he saw his son. With Cain being strangely contrite, Tracy remains suspicious. There is further shock when DC Cole arrives. There has been a development in Nate's case, but will it plunge anyone else into the frame? It's Sarah's birthday, but with everything that's going on, it's not a happy day. A resolution is found for Pollard. CORONATION STREET, ITV1, 8pm Having allowed Millie to stay the night, Eileen warns Todd he may become responsible for her and must address the problem. Theo tells Millie her Mum wants her home, but Millie will only return if Theo moves back in. Dee-Dee assures Ed that she's put the past behind her and her focus is on ensuring better training for midwives. When Debbie and Carl call at No.13 with bacon sandwiches, Kevin clocks Abi's discomfort and leaves feeling suspicious.
Metro
9 hours ago
- Metro
26 British things that no-one else understands
Sophie-May Williams Published June 5, 2025 12:00pm Link is copied Comments 'What a sad little life Jane,' your partner will say to you when you've not washed the dishes, used up the last of the orange juice, or simply done something that's 'done their head in.' (In UK talk, that means annoying.) Us Brits are a unique species - we're sarcastic beyond measure, we can't take a compliment even if it smacked us in the face, David Attenborough is our national hero, and we live for a beer garden pint (Picture: Getty Images) But if you're not from the UK, chances are, some of the things we do and say can be pretty confusing. Which is why whether you're moving to our small little island, (heads up, don't think you'll be lounging on the beach all summer long working on your tan. It rains. A lot) or you just want to find out more about our funny little quirks, you've come to the right place. Here, we've compiled a list of 27 things Brits do that no one else understands. But don't expect us to explain why we do them. We don't actually know... (Picture: Getty Images) Some people say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, along with irony. The British would strongly disagree. Basically, in the UK, you can't take yourself too seriously because someone will make a joke at your expense. But here's the twist: the more offensive or vulgar it is, the more that person likes you. Think of it as a term of endearment. Just watch Ricky Gervais' The Office and you'll understand… hopefully? (Picture: BBC) It's an unwritten rule that whenever you ride the London Underground, you ALWAYS stand on the right-hand side of the escalators. This is because the left-hand side is reserved for the Londoners in a hurry, who often whiz past you James Bond style to make the next tube. Bottom line: don't be that guy who blocks the left. People will get mad (Picture: Getty Images) Speaking of public transport, it's a known fact that we hate talking to people while commuting. It's our time to relax/consider our life choices, so please don't expect us to strike up a conversation with you on the Northern Line. Or any other line, route, or journey for that matter. We'll probs have our air pods in anyway, so get the hint (Picture: Getty Images) Fact: David Attenborough is a national treasure and we find it so hard to watch nature shows not narrated by him. Honestly, it feels like we're cheating (Picture: Getty Images) Us Brits are renowned for moaning about the weather when it's cold, only to then complain that it's too hot when we get a bit of sun. If you hang around someone from the UK during one of our rare heatwaves, you're guaranteed to hear them say, 'hot init?' or 'too hot,' at least 10 times in an hour (Picture: Getty Images) Harking back to the sarcasm point, we'd rather be made fun of than take a compliment. Any day of the week. But it's not because we don't like ourselves - our nationwide self-deprecating personality is actually because we're polite and reserved. We put ourselves down to make others feel better. But this cycle then makes us feel better if you follow… (Picture: Getty Images) If you've ever asked an important work question or request over email that you really need responding to or sorting ASAP, but concluded the message with 'no worries if not' so the receiver thinks you're polite - congrats, you've just turned full Brit. Example: 'Hey, I really need that project draft on my desk by 9am on Friday so I can send it to my manager. No worries if not though x.' Oh yeah, and we end everything with a 'kiss' just to doubly make sure the person knows we're the nice boss (Picture: Getty Images) 'Sorry' is probably the most overused word in the English language. Whether we're sorry about the weather, sorry because we literally brushed someone in a busy train station, or sorry for taking 0.0001 seconds too long to do something, the average Brit will have blurted out multiple unnecessary apologies in the last hour. While some say it's just a habit, and others say it's an example of our good manners, if you're living in the UK, just get used to hearing the five-letter word ALL the time (Picture: Getty Images) Back in the 90s during the height of Britpop, Manchester-based Oasis and London-based Blur were the biggest bands in the biz. But, they were also rivals. Fast forward to 2024, and many Brits will still tell you that they're either team Oasis or team Blur. And that it's sacrilege to be on both. (Note: plenty of people love both, they just don't admit it) (Picture: Getty Images) You haven't been to the British seaside if you've not eaten fish and chips outside in the wind and rain, only for a bob of hungry seagulls to come and knock your meal out of your hands. Once it's happened to you, you can't forget it. The despair and disbelief you feel is unmatched (Picture: Getty Images) This one's kind of on the verge of extinction, but every millennial, generation X, baby boomer, and post-war kid will remember buying a stick of rock from the local beach-front sweet shop while on holiday at the coast. For those who don't know, it's an iconic seaside sweet made from boiled sugar, which is most usually flavoured with peppermint or spearmint (Picture: Getty Images) Like we said in the seagull fish and chip saga, if you go on a summer holiday (a proper British experience involves camping or caravaning, btw), it'll probably rain. But this means you can enjoy a slew of classic Brit vacay activities like a trip to the amusements, a random local museum, or retreating to a cosy pub for a few 'jars' and a steak and ale pie (Picture: Getty Images) A family excursion to the pantomime is a British non-negotiable around Christmas time. ('Oh no it isn't….' 'Oh yes it is!') Whether it's a matinee or an evening show, there's nothing like a middle-aged British dad getting picked on in the front row for the amusement of their kids (Picture: Getty Images) It's another Christmas tradition to have 'crackers' at every place setting as the pre-dinner entertainment. They're basically cardboard paper tubes wrapped in brightly coloured paper and twisted at both ends, that when pulled by two people, reveal a (usually) cheap, random present. Notable gifts include a tiny tape measure, nail clippers, mini screwdriver sets, and yo-yos. It's also customary to get your crackers for the following year a few days after Christmas after they hit the sales. We're tight. We said it (Picture: Getty Images) If you've ever travelled on the British railways, chances are you've been delayed at least once, which then caused you to miss your connection. While you probably heard a couple of huffs and puffs from other passengers, you'll also have noticed that everyone eventually just got on with it… (Picture: Getty Images) British people LOVE tea. Fact. Whether it's a morning brew to start the day, a couple of mugs throughout the afternoon, or a get-home-from-work cup, all UK households are always stocked up on tea. In fact, the first thing you'll be offered when you arrive at someone's house is a cuppa... (Picture: Getty Images) There's nothing more we Brits love than giving anything and everything a nickname. Even though we know it's majorly cringe, it doesn't stop us from referring to things like the cost of living crisis as 'cozzie livs,' or the pandemic as 'panny d' to make pretty harrowing subjects sound less grim (Picture: Getty Images) Ah, the nationwide debate of whether you pronounce the traditional British baked good, 'scone' or 'scon.' Whichever way you say it though, you're always right and the other person is always wrong, and vice versa. So the argument will never be put to bed (Picture: Getty Images) This is mainly a northern thing as some southerners don't get it. But it's definitely a British thing. Whether you're ordering chips from the kebab shop at 2am, having pie and chips for dinner, or grabbing a KFC drive-through, smothering your chips with gravy is one of the most enjoyable culinary delights of our cuisine (Picture: Getty Images) Speaking of pies, if you've ever been to a UK football match, you have to make sure you grab an obligatory pie, burger or hot dog during halftime. A couple of pints before and after the match are a staple of the football experience, too (Picture: Phil Oldham/BPI/REX/Shutterstock) 'Alright mate,' 'thanks mate,' yes mate?' That's peak British language right there. Even if you don't know the person you're talking to or you've only just met them, it's our way of letting people know that we're a friendly bunch (Picture: Getty Images) Gavin and Stacey is ingrained in British culture. The programme became an instant hit when it was released back in 2007, and we've been quoting the show ever since. Whether it's with an 'Oh, what's occurring?' when we meet our mates, or referring to things as 'well lush,' we also know the Smithy and Rudi car park rap off by heart. (FYI, it's American Boy by Estelle and Kanye West) (Picture: Baby Cow) Ah, the awkward moment when it's time to say bye but we're too polite to simply leave the situation even though we're desperate to go. Did we mention us Brits can sometimes have a limited social battery? So what do we do? We say 'ah this was great, we should meet up soon,' even though we have no intention of doing anything of the sort. The great thing is, the other party knows this, and it ends up being a kind of silent mutual respect (Picture: Getty Images) 'I'm not getting involved. I'm here to enjoy myself GC style, d'you know what I mean? I just wanna be me.' That is all (Picture: Getty Images) If you're in a bar and someone drops a drink or breaks a glass, everyone around will immediately start clapping and cheering. There's a fine line with this one though, because some Brits hate it and some Brits love it. But when it happens, the Brits who hate it instantly judge the cheering people around them. These people, incidentally, are also the ones who clap when the plane lands... (Picture: Getty Images) For those who don't know, Come Dine With Me is another British show that has achieved iconic status. In a nutshell, four strangers host their own dinner parties - expected to cook the meals from scratch - and each guest scores the hosts based on the food, hospitality and entertainment. The person with the most points at the end of the week wins the £1000 cash prize (Picture: Channel 4) Over the years, there have been some memorable contestants, but no one comes close to Peter Marsh, who in 2016, was fuming when he came fourth place. While reading from the scroll that reveals the winner - which was a woman called Jane - he spitefully said to her: 'You won, Jane. Enjoy the money, I hope it makes you very happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined my night completely so you could have the money. But I hope now you spend it on some lessons in grace and decorum, because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.' British TV gold at its finest (Picture: Channel 4) Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.
Scottish Sun
3 days ago
- Scottish Sun
The Office star ‘rushed to hospital after ‘suffering medical emergency' in front of live BBC audience
health scare The Office star 'rushed to hospital after 'suffering medical emergency' in front of live BBC audience THE OFFICE star Sally Bretton has been rushed to hospital after 'suffering a medical emergency' during the filming of Not Going Out. Actress Sally, 45, had been performing in front of a live BBC audience when she began experiencing pain and needed urgent medical attention. 1 The Office star Sally Bretton has been rushed to hospital after 'suffering a medical emergency' Credit: Andrew Sims - The Times Production on the long-running sitcom was interrupted as she sought help. Her co-star Lee Mack revealed the incident happened while they were shooting an episode centred on their characters trying to secure tickets for an Oasis reunion tour. Because the show is filmed 'as live', like a stage play, the medical emergency led to an immediate halt in production. Lee told The Mirror: 'There was a moment in that Oasis episode when we were filming it, when Sally said to me – she looked a bit in pain – 'Do you know what appendicitis feels like?' 'I said, 'I have no idea but I can tell you now you haven't got appendicitis, otherwise you wouldn't be here filming.' The next day she had her appendix out.' Sally plays Lucy, the on-screen wife of Lee's character, in the hit comedy. The pair have starred together since the show first aired back in 2006.
