Looking for better love: I'm a 71-year-old widower hoping to fall desperately in love one last time
Better Love — part of the Star's
Toronto the Better
project — is a yearlong personal ad series that connects Torontonians looking for love, and offers an alternative to our swiping habit. Singles pen honest, vulnerable descriptions of what and who they're looking for, in a throwback to (photo-free) personal ads of yore. These essays will appear regularly in the Star, and interested parties can reply to an email address —
betterlove@thestar.ca
— to connect.
I'm retired after a successful career as a lawyer, corporate executive and educator. I was born and raised in Toronto but have lived and travelled elsewhere, including, when I was younger, Europe for two months on five dollars a day, and a few years later on an around-the-world five-month journey. I have both a pan-Canadian and a global perspective. I also loved playing tennis for 50 years, downhill skiing for 30 years and volleyball for 20 years. Although I was raised Jewish, I do not ascribe to any formal religion; I consider myself a spiritual person with a true moral compass and a strong interest in giving back.
I am 71 years young and pursue a variety of interests with energy and enthusiasm, including performing in a rock and pop choir; volunteering as a tutor for new Canadians in English, math, and computer skills; and taking courses on a variety of subjects that pique my interest and fulfil my goal of being a lifelong learner. Joining a rock and pop choir indicates my risk-taking (as the last time I was in a choir was when I was nine), along with a love of music and performing. Film is an abiding passion, and I am a member of both TIFF and Hot Docs, and have volunteered for both over the last three festivals.
Being single as well as retired allows me to do all the things I like to do. If necessary, I am prepared to modify at least some of that to be with someone I love.
I married later in life, at age 46. We had 20 wonderful years together, travelling the world, writing books together, laughing, and loving each other. Sadly, she was diagnosed with cancer in 2017 and passed in 2020. It was a struggle to come to terms with her passing. I began to date again late in 2022 and enjoyed a five-month relationship with a woman in 2023 that came to an amicable conclusion. It has become clear to me that I miss the fun, excitement, warmth, shared experiences, love, and intimacy of a committed relationship, and yearn to find that again.
I seek a woman who is intellectually curious. She must also be adventurous: not risk-seeking, but primed to check out what the world has to offer, both at home and abroad. She must have a sense of humour and be able to laugh. Finally, I seek a romantic, someone who wants to hold hands in public and behave lovingly in private.
Politically I am a bit left of centre and proudly Canadian, which might be a problem for those right of centre. I do not own or use a smart phone which may seem strange to most.
Since I started dating again in 2022, it has only been through friends as I have no interest in using social media for that (or almost anything else). I guess my circle of friends is not wide enough to have met likely candidates.
I have been a reader of the Toronto Star for 60 years — I started young — so I feel a commonality with people who read it. I miss the love of intimacy I once had, and I felt this ad was a way to find a wider range of women with whom I could share love and all the other aspects of togetherness.
I have only fallen deeply and hopelessly in love a few times in my life and want to have the thrill of that experience once more — and, hopefully, for the rest of our lives.
Want to get in touch with Irv? Email
betterlove@thestar.ca
to request a connection. (Note: Responses are not guaranteed.)
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