School or Daycare Drop-Off Tears? Here's How to Help
Separation anxiety can be one of the most heart-tugging parts of parenting. It's most common between 9 and 18 months, but can peak again during toddler and preschool years, especially during big transitions like starting daycare or school.
Think of it like a new pair of shoes: some kids slip them on and run, others need time to break them in. Change can feel big and uncomfortable, and while some children adapt quickly, others need more time and support. If you've ever been met with tears when you put your baby down, loud protests at daycare drop-off, or clinginess during school transitions, you're not alone. Here's how to help your child through it while building their sense of safety and trust.
Keep goodbyes short, sweet, and consistent
Create a predictable goodbye routine and stick to it. This might be as simple as: 'I love you, I'll see you after snack time!' followed by a hug and kiss. For young children, using an activity ('after lunch' or 'after nap') instead of a time can be easier to understand.
Once you've said goodbye, avoid lingering, kind of like ripping off a band-aid. The slower you go, the more it stings. Your hesitation can make them question if it's safe. And while it might feel easier in the moment, don't sneak out. Leaving without saying goodbye can make future separations harder because your child may worry you'll disappear without warning.
Your calm confidence is contagious.
Empathize with your child
If your child is upset or crying, empathize and acknowledge their feelings. For example, 'I see you're sad, but Mommy will be back after naptime!' We understand their feelings are expected and valid, it's not always easy to say goodbye to someone you love and will miss!
It's not helpful to dismiss their feelings or pressure them. Avoid saying, 'It's okay. It's not scary.' That's the kid version of telling an adult to 'just relax' when they're stressed…it doesn't help. Their feelings are real and valid. Acknowledge them, and reassure them they're safe and you'll return.
Stay calm during meltdowns
It's normal to feel emotional yourself. Many parents have shed a few 'parking lot tears' before driving off (been there). But in the moment, your child is looking to you for cues. Being a steady, loving presence helps them learn that separations are safe and temporary.
If they see you handling the moment with warmth and confidence, they're more likely to feel secure, even when they're upset.
Build in connection time
We are often so busy, but even 5 minutes of no-phone, no-laundry, just-us time can help them feel more topped up emotionally. This makes separating less scary. You can plan for quality time before and/or after separation.
Celebrate the reunion
When you are reunited with them, celebrate! Make it the highlight of their day! Try, 'Mommy is back and I missed you so much! You were so brave all day at school! I'm so proud of you!' Or, 'Daddy is back and I missed you so much! You did great!'
Be positive and uplifting in the reunion so they begin to understand the pattern: My caregiver leaves, and I'm a little upset, but they come back and seem happy to see me.
For children who have a harder time
If your child struggles more than most, start small. Practice short separations, like stepping into another room or leaving them with a trusted caregiver for a brief period, and gradually extend the time.
Playdates or time with relatives while you're still nearby can also help them get used to other people.
When to talk to a professional
Consider speaking to your child's clinician for the following:
Separation anxiety continues well into the school years
It's causing daily distress or affecting activities they enjoy
Caregivers can't manage the intensity of their reactions
You have concerns about other areas of development
Separation anxiety is very common but should improve with time. If it's not, your clinician may suggest coping strategies or refer you to a child psychologist or therapist.
Bottom line
Separation anxiety is a common stage for many kids. It's rooted in love and connection. Your calm 'I've got you' presence is the anchor in their storm. With your consistency, empathy, and patience, kids learn it's okay to be apart and that you always come back.
Want a more detailed breakdown of when separation anxiety is most common, what it looks like, and even more strategies to help? Watch the PedsDocTalk YouTube video.
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35 minutes ago
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Best Potty Training Seats 2025
As a mom of three—including twin toddlers currently in the throes of potty training—I've quickly discovered that the process looks different for every child. After interviewing pediatricians and child development experts, and personally testing 15 different potty training seats, one thing became clear: the right seat can make a big difference. When a potty seat puts kids into an ideal ergonomic position and appeals to the child, the whole process is a lot smoother. Of all the models my kids tried,The First Years Super Pooper Plus Potty Training System With Foot Rest quickly emerged as the best potty training seat thanks to its supportive positioning for a bowel movement, its ease of use and its fun flushing features that keep kids motivated. Above all, pediatrician Dr. Rosana Lastra recommends proper ergonomic positioning. 'A seat that allows feet to rest flat with knees above the hips puts the body in a natural squat, which relaxes the pelvic floor and makes pooping easier,' she says. In addition to our top pick, the Kalencom Potette Plus 2-In-1 Travel Potty Trainer Seat is ideal for travel—you can use it in the car by attaching a disposable bag, and you can take it into a public restroom and place it on top of the seat. Learn more about all of our top picks, including some that double as a step stool. Our Top Recommendations Best Potty Training Seat Overall Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: 2-in-1 (potty chair and seat insert) | Special Features: Foot rest for proper alignment, buttons for toddlers to push Pros: Cons: This potty checks all the boxes, making it an excellent choice for potty-training toddlers. First and foremost, it supports the proper body alignment that Lastra recommends—the integrated stool allows kids to prop their feet up. As they get older and their legs get longer, you can remove the top part of the foot rest. 'My number one priority when choosing a potty seat is that it supports proper body alignment. This is especially important for pooping because we don't want kids straining,' she says. Once they're ready for the big toilet, remove the seat and use it as a toilet insert instead. It's not just great for bowel movements, either. It has a splash guard to prevent urine from spilling out of the front. I was worried that the foot rest would get in the way when my boys stand to pee, but they haven't had any issues at all. The foot rest alone is enough to make this potty fun for my toddlers, and they also really like the buttons that play flushing and cheering sounds. For reluctant kids, a feature like this can make all the difference. The pot in this potty is also generously sized, so you never have to worry about overflow. It's also one of the sturdiest potties I tested. I never have issues with it sliding around, and I think the wide base of the foot rest helps with that. The only real drawback of this toilet is that it can be a bit more difficult to clean than others. There are a few cracks behind the seat, and if pee seeps into those, it can be tricky to get into. Best Value Potty Training Chair Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: Potty chair | Special Features: High backrest Pros: Cons: A potty seat doesn't have to be complicated to be effective and this simple seat gets the job done. It's nice and sturdy with a non-slip bottom, and has a large pot that's easy to remove for cleaning. Among all of the potty seats I tested, it's also one of the easiest to clean. It doesn't have as many nooks, crannies and cracks like many of the other options do. I really appreciate the handle on the back, too. My kids often ask for the potty to be moved from room to room, and this makes it easy. I've found that as my kids get older, they prefer this chair even more since it's a bit more spacious than some of the smaller potty seats, and has a high backrest. While many of the smaller options are better for ergonomic positioning, kids can outgrow them rather quickly. Because it is such a simple seat, the biggest con is that there aren't any fun features to motivate kids to sit on the seat. If your child is a bit hesitant, try allowing them to decorate the outside of the potty with stickers featuring their favorite character or animal. This can give them some ownership over the potty and make it a little more exciting. Best Potty Training Seat For Travel Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: 2-in-1 (potty chair and toilet insert) | Special Features: Folds for storage Pros: Cons: This potty seat has been in my vehicle for over five years, and it has saved my kids from having accidents while traveling so many times. When you prop up the legs and use a liner bag, it can function as a standalone potty seat. I use this function often when my kids need to go and there isn't a bathroom to stop at. It also comes in handy for kids who are scared of public bathrooms or who might be shy to poop in public. If you do find a bathroom but want to keep your kids off the dirty toilet seat, you can flip the legs outward to use it as a potty insert. When they're done, fold the legs in, and stash it back in your car. While this is a great travel option, it's not perfect. It's not quite as sturdy as other more robust potty seats, though I've never had it collapse or tip over. You'll also need to purchase potty seat liners. I've used plastic grocery bags in a pinch, but the experience is always better using the correct liners. They fit on the seat well, have an absorbent pad in the middle and I've never had them leak. Best Potty Training Ladder Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: Ladder | Special Features: Adjustable to toilet height Pros: Cons: The Jool Baby Potty Training Ladder is really sturdy, and it's adjustable so you can easily get a secure fit on your toilet. It has two steps kids can use to climb up onto the toilet seat, which my toddlers really love. Though it doesn't have a fun flushing mechanism or a character theme like some other seats do, the very design makes the regular toilet more kid-friendly. The seat has a lot of great features: it's slightly cushioned, has a splash guard, and includes handles and a slightly raised back to help kids feel comfortable and secure. It's very easy to take on and off, so you're not giving up one of your toilets for your kids. Simply pull the seat off the toilet and fold the top down, then slide it next to the toilet or somewhere else out of the way. My 3-year-olds are able to put it on the toilet themselves, which is really helpful when they need to go and I can't get there to assist right away. Most potty training seats require little (if any) assembly, but this ladder did require some assembly time. The directions were a bit confusing, and once I had it assembled, I also had to adjust it to fit my toilet. Thankfully, this is only a one-time process, but it's something to consider. It's also a bit difficult to clean since there are a lot of small parts and cracks. The cushioned seat also attaches with a hook-and-loop material which is difficult to clean if it gets pee on it. Best Potty Training Seat Insert Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: Toilet insert | Special Features: Adjustable, hook for storage Pros: Cons: The BabyBjorn Toilet Training Seat is a simpler alternative to a ladder, yet it still helps toddlers feel more comfortable using the regular toilet. It also has a hook, so you can hang it out of the way when it's not in use. This seat is incredibly sturdy, largely thanks to the adjustable dial. For kids who are scared of going on the regular toilet, this is a major benefit because it won't wobble around or fall off when they're trying to get on or off the toilet. I was able to get a really nice fit on multiple toilets, and this feature makes it a good travel option, too. The seat is very lightweight, and my toddlers have no problem putting it on the toilet themselves. It also has a simple design with a subtle pop of color around the outside, so it won't stand out as an eyesore in your bathroom. The seat has a splash guard in the front, which helps prevent urine from shooting out of the toilet. If they do miss and get pee all over, however, it's not the easiest seat to clean. The adjustable dial has quite a few areas that can be difficult to clean. Fortunately, since they are going right into the regular toilet, there isn't a pot to clean out. Best Multi-Purpose Potty Training Seat Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: 3-in-1 (potty seat, toilet insert and step stool) | Special Features: Helps eliminate odors, can function as a step stool Pros: Cons: If the thought of a toilet training seat stinking up your house worries you, the Munchkin Arm & Hammer Multistage 3-In-1 Potty is the right option for you. The seat has an odor-fighting deodorizing disc built into the lid which I've found helps neutralize odors and gives off a light, pleasant scent. The seat itself has proven to be sturdy and comfortable for my toddlers. In addition to helping tame odors, the seat is a multifunctional: kids can use it as a regular potty seat, a toilet insert and a step stool—a real space-saver if your home is already crowded with toys and products like mine is. The pot is easy to remove and clean, and I appreciate that it's nice and deep. This helps prevent it from spilling over when emptying a particularly full pot. The only drawback I've found is that pee sometimes spills out when my kids carry around the step stool while there's still something in it (one of the downfalls of testing 15 potties at once). If you're more vigilant about emptying the potty, however, this probably won't be an issue. Best Potty Training Seat For Reluctant Toddlers Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: 2-in-1 (potty chair and toilet insert) | Special Features: Flushing buttons, character themes Pros: Cons: Sometimes, especially with reluctant potty trainers, you just need a potty that's exciting for kids and themed with their favorite character. The First Years Potty Training And Transition Potty could be just the enticement they need. 'Even the 'perfect' potty won't work if your kid refuses to sit on it,' says Lastra. This potty features either Baby Shark, Mickey Mouse, Paw Patrol or Spidey and His Amazing Friends. The seat also has buttons they can push to flush the seat and elicit other fun sounds. Of all of the seats I've tested, this is one that my toddlers continually gravitate towards—for obvious reasons. When your child is ready to transition to the big toilet, you can simply remove the seat and use it as an insert. It's a thoughtful, toddler-friendly feature that helps ease the change—since the seat feels familiar, kids are more comfortable and confident making the move. The seat isn't quite as sturdy and stable as some of our other top picks. It hasn't ever tipped over or slid while my kids were using it, but it may not be the best pick for older or larger toddlers. Best Multi-Stage Potty Training Seat Forbes Vetted Forbes Vetted ratings are based on thorough evaluations by our editorial team to help you choose the best products with confidence. Type: 3-in-1 (potty seat, toilet insert and step stool) | Special Features: Can function as a step stool Pros: Cons: This newly released 3-in-1 potty is another option that's ideal for saving space. It transitions from a potty chair to a toilet insert to a step stool in a pretty innovative way: to transition to a step stool, you take the insert out and turn the potty upside down, so you can use the toilet insert and step stool at the same time. Lastra recommends multifunctional seats like this because kids tend to stick with the one they're familiar with. Since the insert can be removed and the potty flipped to become a step stool, it avoids the spilling issues seen with the Munchkin seat. The pot and seat insert are both easy to clean, and the pot is large enough to hold a lot of liquids and solids. The toilet insert also has a splash guard you can flip up, which I find particularly helpful for my boys. Though I haven't had any issues with my kids tipping this seat or having it slide around, it's not quite as sturdy as some other options. The material just seems to be a bit more flimsy. The overall look and feel is also a bit more utilitarian than some other options. My kids don't dislike this potty, but they also don't gravitate towards it like they do with some others. To help your kid get excited to use this potty, you might encourage them to decorate it with stickers. Other Potty Training Seats We Tested I tested a total of 15 potty training seats and chairs with my 3-year-old twins during potty training, and I used some of these seats when potty training my older child as well. BabyBjorn Potty Chair: I've used this potty for all three of my kids, and it's a great option. The only reason it's not a top pick is that it's very similar to the less expensive OXO Tot Potty Chair, which performed nearly identically in our tests. Kolkraft Sesame Street Elmo Hooray 3-In-1 Potty Training Toilet Seat: I didn't have any concerns with this seat when it came to stability, and my toddlers like it. However, the red pot that collects the pee and poop does present a concern. It makes it difficult to see if there is urine in it, and it makes it almost impossible to see the color of the pee or poop. Parents often need to examine the color of their child's pee or poop, especially if there are any health concerns. Summer Infant My Size Potty Pro: Unfortunately, this seat did not perform well during testing. The pot is really small, and somehow, pee constantly leaked from the sides of the seat. Munchkin Sturdy Potty Seat: I've been using this seat for years and it works well. However, it's not adjustable like the BabyBjorn Toilet Training Seat. On some toilets, it may not fit as well and could create an unsteady base for kids to sit on. Frida Baby Fold & Go Potty Seat: This is an ideal option when you want a toilet insert that's super compact. However, when compared to the Kalencom Potette Plus 2-In-1 Travel Potty Trainer Seat, it simply doesn't offer as many features and can only be used on an existing toilet while the Potette Plus can also be used as a standalone potty. Contours Bravo 3 Stage Potty: The Contours Bravo 3 Stage Potty has a unique design that creates a large area for kids to sit on. Its flaw, however, is that the pot gets stuck when you try to pull it out to empty it, and if you're not careful, this can send pee and poop flying, which is obviously not ideal. Fisher-Price Step Up Potty: This step-up potty ladder has a comfortable seat, but the ladder isn't adjustable. I wasn't able to get it to fit my toilet without it wobbling, and many online reviewers mentioned the same issue. Why Trust Forbes Vetted The baby and kids gear team at Forbes Vetted is steeped in experience testing and vetting the best products. We frequently cover potty training topics, including the best potty training books and the best potty training pants. How We Tested The Best Potty Training Seats I tested all 15 of the potty training seats we considered for this list myself with my 3-year-old twin boys. My daughter also used many of these seats when she was a toddler. In addition to using each seat throughout our daily lives, I also conducted more specific tests on each seat. Here's some more insight into how I tested each seat. I noted each time any of the seats wobbled or seemed unstable while my kids were sitting on them. I also attempted to slide them around and tip them over while nobody was sitting on them. Some seats tended to leak pee around the sides or under the pot, so when this happened, I attempted to figure out why and made note of the incident. I also carried each pot across a room and to the toilet to be emptied many times. I noted which ones were easier to transport than others. I made note of how easy each seat was to use for both parents and toddlers. This included information on assembly (if applicable), placing the seat on the toilet and function of features like handles and buttons. I cleaned each seat multiple times and documented any cracks, small parts or areas of the seats that were difficult to clean. When it comes down to it, a good potty seat needs to appeal to toddlers. I observed which seats my kids gravitated towards and which they said were the most comfortable. What To Consider When Buying A Potty Training Seat Lastra explains that parents often struggle with potty training because their kids aren't in a good ergonomic position to go to the bathroom. 'When we adjust the child's position, it's like magic and everything works. When kids have to strain or feel uncomfortable, they're much more likely to resist the potty, which can make the whole training process harder,' she says. Good ergonomic positioning involves a comfortable seat that allows your child's knees to be higher than their hips when their feet are rested on a flat surface. If your potty isn't low enough to the ground for your toddler, try placing something stable under their feet to help get them into the right position. 'After alignment, ease of cleaning is my next must-have,' says Lastra. 'A seat that's simple to wipe down or has a removable bowl saves a lot of hassle.' Look for seats that don't have a lot of seams or areas that are difficult to get into to clean. A toilet insert will require less cleaning overall than a potty chair. Splash guards can help keep pee contained, too, so you're not cleaning up messes as often. This is typically even more important for boys. While not necessary, fun theming can make a toddler more likely to want to use the potty. Look for seats that appeal to them or let them decorate a more plain seat with stickers. Anything that can make kids feel uneasy or scared while going to the bathroom could jeopardize the potty training process. Look for seats that are sturdy and that won't slide or tip while your toddler is sitting on them. What Type Of Seat Is Best For Potty Training? The best type of seat for potty training puts toddlers in an ergonomic position, which helps them poop without straining. Fun features like a theme with their favorite character or flushing handles can help get toddlers excited about using the potty, too. For these reasons, we named the best potty seat The First Years Super Pooper Plus Potty Training System With Foot Rest. Potty Training Seat Vs. Chair The terms potty training seat and potty training chair are often used interchangeably. However, a potty chair is a standalone potty that sits on the floor while a potty seat is an insert that rests on top of the regular toilet. Many potty training chairs can also function as potty training seats.
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