How my mother, sister and I share clothes

Telegraph

29-03-2025

The rumble would always catch me out – that unmistakable roar of the door wheels in the Dorset farmhouse where we grew up as I attempted to pilfer another evening top from my sister's wardrobe. You'd have to weigh up if the stealth required to nab an item, or the risk of being caught, was truly worth it.
The six year age difference between us has shrunk as we have matured into our late twenties, now my thirties, in step with a more civilised approach to borrowing clothes. A dress here for Ascot, a jacket there for skiing, a revenge top.
My sister and I both grew up on a diet of Vogue, Alexa Chung, Sienna Miller and street style photographer Garance Doré (though my sister's style was invariably far cooler from the get-go). And the boho era fostered a love of thrifting. In Dorset this meant sieving through charity shops teeming with grannies' nighties and Eighties suits, and in London, weaving through Camden Market for silk scarfs and lace, or Portobello for denim and cowboy boots.
This look was wildly at odds with our mother's style – battle-proof farmhouse/motherhood garbs by day and the occasional leather trousers with black cashmere jumper by night, or, naturally, the formal frock and matching coat for a wedding.
But as dress codes have blurred, so too have those once entrenched generational boundaries on clothes. I began looking at my mother's evening bags, jewellery and coats in a new light and eyeing up my sister's floaty shirts with fun sleeves or embroidered detail. Mum started wearing my coats and adding a collar, I copied her liberal use of scarfs – in the vintage style tied under the chin, or just layered over a shirt for more detail.
There were those pieces that could effortlessly transcend generations and ride out the chapters of own sartorial proclivities or the prevailing trends of the time, but thankfully the retail climate has also begun to change.
Enlightened, elevated brands such as Me+Em, Wiggy Kit, Wyse and Sézane now dress a stylish, easy-going coterie of women for whom age is immaterial, with items easily transcending generations. Even the high-street stalwarts such as M&S have cast their net wider with stylish denim and knitwear that could effortlessly move between mothers, daughters, grandmothers. In the luxury sector the message was clear in this season's runway shows, with Burberry trenches and cashmere on the runway worn by veteran actors. Simone Rocha's gothic glamour was all the more alluring on septuagenarian models.
To embrace this new era of intergenerational dressing, my mum, sister and I took to the studio with three key wardrobe pieces – a hero blouse, a feminine print dress and a timeless Chanel-type jacket to show how they can be worn (and shared) by women in their 20s, 30s, and 60s.
Rosalyn Wikeley
'The floaty dress was the unexpected hero – and looked far better on both my mother and sister than me'
Rosalyn wears Silk dress, £795, Borgo de Nor, Double gold plated earrings, £540, YSSO, Gold plated ring, £34.99, Pilgrim, Tights and boots, Rosalyn's own
If I had to sum up my style, I'd say it's a little nostalgic and elegant with an edge. I don't religiously follow or even explore trends and am only bothered by what a handful of people think about my clothes (my husband being exempt from this group). I'd rather dial up an easy-going look with statement earrings or out-there trousers than slip into a fancy frock.
The joy of styling these three looks for my mum, sister and me – different shapes, hair and skin tone and style personalities – is that it compelled me to look at how we all dress with a new set of lenses. The WhatsApp deliberations before our shoot gave me such a unique insight into what works on different figures, but also how wonderfully distinct personal style is in forming identity and building confidence. A jacket I'd assumed would be a slam dunk was feverishly vetoed, boots I presumed too 'fashion statement' for my mother were adored, and our disparate rules of dressing were laid bare: 'A Chanel collar is fine with something underneath, but not alone'...oof (that was my main look).
There were many revelatory style moments on the actual shoot day too – that you'll be pushed to find someone under 35 willing to wear skinny jeans now, that the floaty dress which was initially rejected ('that style doesn't work on us Roz') turned out to be the hero piece and looked far better on both my mother and sister than on me.
Carrie (left) wears Silk dress, £795, Borgo de Nor, Topaz and diamond earrings, £2,200, Kiki McDonough, Leather boots, £265, Jigsaw; Helena (right) wears Denim jacket, £459, Mother Denim, Silk dress, £795, Borgo de Nor, Gold coated and enamel earrings, £204, So-Le Studio, Patent leather shoes, £245, Camilla Elphick
I loved how we gravitated towards completely different looks with the cream Sézane jacket (which turned out to be my favourite combination), and yet we all felt at ease in the same item.
Perhaps we're in a sartorial sweet spot in our various ages and our individual styles are more nuanced and aligned than we think, but if our shoot confirmed anything it's that brands should forget sartorial pigeon-holing with age and should cast their net across all generations.
Helena Wikeley
'My favourite outfit was the Smock London blouse – I loved how the collar poked out of the Boden sweater, and the chunky Tilly Sveaas jewellery'
Helena wears Cotton hand-smocked blouse, £165, Smock London, Cashmere tank, £112, Boden, Barrel jeans, £314, DL1961, Suede trainers, £89, Dune, Gold plated necklace, £380 and bracelet, £295, Tilly Sveaas
My style is quite simple – Scandi-inspired with clean lines and neutral tones, but I do like to add a pop of colour or a pattern here and there to keep things interesting.
I naturally gravitate toward a relaxed look, so for this experiment, it was all about making the pieces work for my everyday life. These items could easily be dressed up. However, I preferred to make them more casual, pairing them with trainers or throwing a denim jacket over the top.
One of the biggest takeaways from doing this shoot was realising how much potential there is in my mum and sister's wardrobes – even if they don't quite know it yet. There's so much in there that I can style in a way that feels more me, even if it doesn't seem it at first.
My favourite outfit was the one with the blouse, it felt effortless yet still chic. I loved how the collar of the Smock London blouse poked out over the Boden sweater, and the chunky Tilly Sveaas jewellery really drew the eye towards the detailing of the blouse. Even though I'm famously terrible at keeping an outfit clean, I couldn't help but love the crisp simplicity of it.
Carrie wears Cotton hand-smocked blouse, £165, Smock London, Printed skirt, £145, Jigsaw, Leather boots, £195, Jigsaw, Gold plated and lapis earrings, £109, Ottoman Hands; Rosalyn wears Denim waistcoat, £145 and jeans, £125, Cotton hand-smocked blouse, £165, Smock London, Suede trim loafers, £55, Marks & Spencer, Double gold plated earrings, £340, YSSO, Brass ear cuff, £81, So-Le Studio, Gold plated bangle, £44.99, Pilgrim
Carrie Wikeley
'A Chanel-style jacket is a wardrobe must-have… even if the neckline doesn't suit you, you can put a polo-neck underneath'
Carrie wears Organic cotton and merino wool jacket, £185, Sezane, Jumper and jeans, Carrie's own, Leather boots, £195, Jigsaw, Silk scarf, Carrie's own, Earrings, £195, Deborah Blyth
My style tends to live in two extremes – country scruffies or dressed up for an event with a little smart casual in between. I'm not naturally very adventurous with clothes, but I think the old adage 'if you look good, you feel good' is always a boost to your confidence and presence. Having two daughters who are usually pretty candid in their appraisal of my dress style is actually a boon as you get an honest opinion that few others feel able to give. So for me, mother-daughter shopping ticks lots of boxes – and they say that shopping is cheaper than therapy.
I am always on the losing end of the family clothes-sharing arrangements as I am several sizes bigger than the girls. But the cries of 'why did you let her take my jacket/top/dress/shoes/…' used to frequently ring through the house when one of them returned home. It always used to amuse me that they would borrow/take/share each other's clothes as they had very different styles.
I love jewel colours – sapphire blues, emerald greens, ruby reds – and always veer towards a black base. So the rich print of the dress we all wore was music to my eyes. The neck ties and optional waist sash gave it lots of different styling possibilities.
The white Smock London blouse was not something I would have gravitated to but actually worked really well with the Jigsaw skirt. Likewise, I would have passed on the Jigsaw ankle boots with the elongated and boxed toe but not only were they so comfortable (like foot hugs) but I loved the look.
A Chanel-style jacket is a wardrobe must-have. Something fairly plain is so versatile – as we found here. Even if the neckline doesn't suit you, you can put a polo neck underneath or a chunky necklace on top. You can dress it up or down, wear it with jeans or a cocktail dress.
The feature brought it home to me that there are countless opportunities for using the same clothes across the generations without the daughter tacking on thirty years or mum looking like a recycled teenager.
Helena wears Organic cotton and merino wool jacket, £185, Sezane, Organic cotton shirt, £95, With Nothing Underneath, Leather loafers, £55, Marks & Spencer, Leather bag, £365, C. Nicol, Necklace, £125, Rixo; Rosalyn wears Organic cotton and merino wool jacket, £185, Sezane, Forward seam jeans, £295, Wiggy Kit, Double gold plated earrings, £540, YSSO, Bracelet, £295, Tilly Sveaas, Leather woven shoes, £79, Dune