David Christopher Kaufman: Shame on LGBT elite for ignoring lesbian Israeli hostage Emily Damari this Pride season
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There are many heroes to have emerged from the flames of Hamas' attack on Israel two Octobers ago, but none quite like Emily Damari. And none quite like now, as June marks the start of LGBT Pride month — and even more antisemitic violence reaches the U.S. Damari, a 28 year-old Israeli-Briton, was among the 33 hostages returned this winter after nearly 500 days of captivity in Gaza. And as she revealed over the weekend, Damari, is also a lesbian — a fact kept quiet during the 15 months she was held by Hamas, which likely saved her life.
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This is bravery of unfathomable proportions — both by Emily and her family, particularly her mother Mandy, who somehow ensured her daughter remained in the spotlight without risking too much spotlight which could have made her sexuality known. And, of course, the bravery demonstrated by Emily's partner, Orel — compelled to refer to Damari as a mere 'friend,' as she fought for her release.
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I may have personally known homophobia for much of my life, but nothing like Emily, who faced an almost certain (and brutal) death had her gayness been revealed. Back in 2016, in fact, Hamas infamously murdered one of their own commanders for suspected homosexuality. Just imagine what they would have done to a female, Jewish, Israeli hostage. 'From their perspective, they think it's a sickness,' said Damari in an interview with Israeli television news. 'Hamas couldn't know I was gay!'
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Beyond the sheer steeliness displayed by Damari is what her story says about the failure — and folly — of the pro-Palestinian crowd over the past 18 months. These are people that deny and defy logic at every turn. Indeed, I seethe knowing that while #queersforpalestine twits were marauding across cities worldwide, an actual queer — Emily Damari — was in Gaza knowing that at any moment her queerness could end her life. Yet since news of Damari's release — no major LGBT group has saluted her valour.
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There have been no articles in leading American LGBT media brands such as The Advocate and Them. And no public commendations from major LGBT advocacy organizations — such as GLAAD, whose annual media awards last May devolved into an orgy of Israel bashing.
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Meanwhile, feminists have also kept silent about Damari, despite her ordeal at the hands of, perhaps, the most misogynistic political entity besides the Taliban. Remember the crowds that Hamas gathered for the creepy release ceremonies that accompanied the hostages' release in winter. Notice anything strange: There are almost no women — anywhere. Only men and machine guns. This is the misogynistic reality Emily Damari contended with for over a year.
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Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. SUBSCRIBE TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada. Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account. Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on. Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists. Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists. Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. REGISTER / SIGN IN TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account. Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments. Enjoy additional articles per month. Get email updates from your favourite authors. THIS ARTICLE IS FREE TO READ REGISTER TO UNLOCK. Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments Enjoy additional articles per month Get email updates from your favourite authors Don't have an account? Create Account But others say they will stay and fight. For many, it is a wrenching decision to end a career they love, and leave units they have led or worked with for years. And they are angry they are being forced out by the Trump administration's renewed ban on transgender troops. Active duty service members had until Friday to identify themselves and begin to leave the military voluntarily, while the National Guard and Reserve have until July 7. Then the military will begin involuntary separations. 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Cynthia Cheng-Wun Weaver, senior director of litigation for Human Rights Campaign, said it's important for troops to talk with judge advocates general in their services to ensure they understand the different procedures being implemented. Other transgender troops plan to stay despite the ban The Air Force service member and a transgender officer in the Army National Guard both said they plan to stay and fight. Lawsuits over the ban continue and could change or block the policy. For troops involved in the court battles as plaintiffs, leaving voluntarily now would likely hurt their standing in the case. For others, it's simply dedication to their career. 'I've really embraced military culture, and it's embraced me,' the Air Force member said. 'It's not about money. It's the career that I love.' The Guard soldier echoed that sentiment, saying he will stay on 'because it is important to me to serve. Frankly, I'm good at it, I'm well trained so I want to continue.' Others without bonuses to repay or who have been in the military only a short while and won't get much in separation bonus pay may opt to stay and see what happens. National Guard troops face a particular problem National Guard members who are heading to their monthly drill weekend or annual two-week drill in June could be required to go but serve as the gender they were assigned at birth. That means they would have to wear uniforms and haircuts of that gender, use that bathroom and be referred to as 'sir' or 'ma'am' based on that gender. For many, that could be close to impossible and create uncomfortable situations. 'If I were to show up to drill this weekend, I'd be expected to use all female facilities, I would be expected to wear a woman's uniform,' said the Army Guard officer, who transitioned to male about five years ago and says others in his unit know him as a man. 'I don't look like a woman. I don't feel like a woman. It would be disruptive to good order and discipline for me to show up and to tell my soldiers, you have to call me 'ma'am' now.' It's not clear if Guard units are handling it all the same way, and it could be up to individual states or commanders. Some may allow troops to postpone the drill or go on administrative leave. What happens next for transgender troops? The service members interviewed by The Associated Press said they don't know what will happen once the deadline passes to leave voluntarily. Some believe that unit commanders will quickly single people out and start involuntary separations. Others say the process is vague, may involve medical review boards and could take months. The defense official said Friday that as the Pentagon takes these steps, it 'will treat our service members with dignity and respect.' Under Hegseth's directive, military commanders will be told to identify troops with gender dysphoria — when a person's biological sex does not match their gender identity — and send them to get medical checks to force them out of the service, defense officials have said. The order relies on routine annual health checks — so it could be months before that evaluation is scheduled. 'My real big sticking point is that this administration's whole push is to reform this country based around merit, and that gender, race, etc., should have no factor in hiring,' the Air Force service member said. 'If that's true, I'm solely being removed for my gender, and merit is no longer a factor.' ___ Associated Press writer R.J. Rico in Atlanta contributed to this report.
