Billy Joel Reveals How Feeling ‘Like a Homewrecker' After Having an Affair Drove Him to Depression

Yahoo

15 hours ago

Billy Joel is shedding insight into one of the darkest periods of his life in his new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes.
The documentary — which premiered Wednesday, June 4, at the Tribeca Film Festival — featured the 'Piano Man' singer, 76, opening up about the origin of his marriage to his first wife, Elizabeth Weber Small, who he wed in 1973.
Elizabeth's ex-husband, Jon Small, was in a band called Atilla with Joel from 1969 to 1970. At the time, Joel had moved in with Elizabeth, Jon and their former couple's son — and Joel had an affair with Elizabeth.
'I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,' the 'New York State of Mind' singer said, according to People. 'I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.'
Following the affair, Elizabeth ended her relationships with both men and a distraught Joel coped by drinking, explaining that without a place to live, he was 'depressed to the point of almost being psychotic,' he said in the documentary. 'So I figured, 'That's it. I don't want to live anymore.' I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like why hang out, tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks. So, I just thought I'd end it all.'
The film featured an appearance by Joel's sister Judy Molinari — then, a medical assistant — who explained after she gave him sleeping pills to help him get sleep, he took all of them and ended up in a coma 'for days and days and days.'
'I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet,' a tearful Molinari said. 'I thought that I'd killed him.'
When the six-time Grammy winner finally woke up, his dark thoughts returned. Describing himself as 'very selfish,' Joel said he remembers thinking he wanted to try again — but he wanted to do it 'right.'
During his next spiral, the 'Honesty' singer ingested a bottle of lemon Pledge — and it was Jon who ended up rushing the musician to the hospital.
'Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,' recalled Joel.
Joel, who has since forgiven Joel for his indiscretion, shared his own thoughts on the experience., 'He never really said anything to me,' he explained. 'The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much.'
Afterwards, Joel — who described himself as a 'lost soul' at the time— sought help. He checked himself into an 'observation ward,' remaining there for several weeks. The stay changed the course of his life forever.
'I got out,' he added, 'and I thought to myself, you can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music.'
Billy Joel: And So It Goes is set to premiere on HBO in July.
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