Navigating the chessboard of courtesy
overlords when the world turns over to technology in the hopefully very distant future. Camp 2 was people who spoke about how it is not a lack of courtesy, but that the current generation has overthrown the shackles of fear and restriction. The current generation is not afraid to speak their mind and therefore, comes across as discourteous.
While we agree that today's children and young adults have the freedom to speak their minds and do put it to use, that is communication, not courtesy. Courtesy is not about age, and neither is etiquette. Courtesy and etiquette do not demand that you keep your thoughts to yourself or abide by someone else's rules. It is about holding your own space while also respecting that the other person or persons have a personal space of their own and honouring the basic rules of humanity. I resonate with Dorothy Parker's words, 'The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for discourtesy.'
According to the now infrequently used Oxford Dictionary, the meaning of courtesy is polite and pleasant behaviour that shows respect for other people or a polite thing that you say or do when you meet people in formal situations. There is nothing here that indicates that freedom of speech is not allowed or that a younger person must blindly listen to elders. However, it does require that you treat the person in front of you as a member of the human race. This is not restricted to people who are older than you or above you in terms of designation. You can show courtesy even to those younger than you. It is a matter of respecting the value of the other person's time and effort. Sometimes, it may mean acknowledging the existence of a person.
As Lewis Carroll himself said, 'Take more care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.' The sense here is the respect for another person who is setting aside time for you or taking the effort to do something for you. It does not take too much effort to say a simple word like 'thank you,' 'sorry' or 'please.' But the benefits that it brings to you are multiple.
However, like a lot of other things, this takes practice. If you do not practice courtesy on a regular basis, then it will not be what you do when you are in a situation of stress. That means it will not serve you when you need it the most. It is funny that in today's times pets
are treated with more care and respect than people. People get offended when their pets are referred to in the neutral gender or as that dog/cat/animal they are bringing up. However, the same courtesy is not afforded to people.
The descent of language into pure madness has also contributed to this situation. All right became fine, which became fn, which eventually descended into a single emoji. People now do not have time to type out complete words on their smartphones. These are the phones that can use smart AI to predict your words and your sentences on the basis of your usage. The phones can even translate your speech directly into text, and yet we would rather rely on single-letter abbreviations which can be so confusing to people from a different generation. Gifs and memes have become a part of formal conversations now.
Communication is evolving, but sometimes the evolution feels like a curse rather than progress. And if you think courtesy is a restriction on expressing yourself freely, may we recommend that you watch how the Countess Violet Crawley from Downtown Abbey speaks? She is a masterclass in speaking your heart and yet confining to the, admittedly, very stringent restrictions of the Victorian period. Even the best of us could learn a lesson or two from her.
If you have now understood the difference between courtesy and communication and would like to learn the basics or wish someone had a few tips for you, you know what to do! That is right – stay tuned for the next edition of this article. We hope to be back with some tips and tricks for you.
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Time of India
6 hours ago
- Time of India
Ireland's chamber of horrors: 800 babies buried in old septic tank; house was run by nuns
This is a representative AI image In a grim reminder of Ireland's haunting past, a mass grave containing the remains of up to 800 infants and young children is now being excavated at the site of a former mother and baby home, where today, only a single stone wall remains. Once run by Catholic nuns in a quiet Irish town, the institution's buried secrets are forcing the nation to reckon with decades of mistreatment and neglect of unmarried mothers and their children, many of whom were reportedly laid to rest in a disused septic tank, the New York Post reported. The burial site is located on the grounds of a former institution run by the Bon Secours Sisters, a Catholic order of nuns, and has become a powerful symbol of Ireland's dark history of institutional abuse. For decades, unmarried mothers were hidden away in such homes, their children taken from them and left vulnerable to neglect and mistreatment. The existence of the grave first came to light over 50 years ago when two boys stumbled across skeletal remains. But the full scale of the tragedy didn't emerge until 2014, when local historian Catherine Corless uncovered disturbing records showing that 796 children who died at the home were never properly accounted for. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Profit Trick - Read More vividtrendlab Click Here Undo Her research revealed that the remains were likely buried beneath the grounds, specifically inside a defunct sewage tank. Corless's revelations made global headlines and shocked the nation. Test excavations later confirmed the presence of numerous tiny skeletons inside the tank. Then-Prime Minister Enda Kenny described the site as a 'chamber of horrors,' sparking national outrage. Earlier, Pope Francis had publicly apologised for the Catholic Church's role in the abuse, including the forced separation of mothers and children. The Bon Secours nuns also issued a rare apology, admitting they had failed to uphold Christian values in their care of vulnerable women and children. The mother and baby homes weren't unique to Ireland—they were part of a wider Victorian-era practice of institutionalizing the poor, unmarried mothers, and vulnerable children. The Tuam home, in particular, was harsh, overcrowded, and deadly. Women were forced to work there for up to a year before being sent away—usually without their children. Accordin to the New York Post, Historian Catherine Corless' research into Tuam led to a major government investigation, which revealed that 9,000 children about 15% died in such homes across Ireland during the 20th century. Tuam, which operated from 1925 to 1961, recorded the highest death rate. Corless said her determination to uncover the truth grew stronger as she learned more. 'The more I realized how those poor, unfortunate, vulnerable kids, through no fault of their own, had to go through this life,' she added. Her research united survivors with relatives who discovered their mothers had given birth to siblings who died in these institutions. Annette McKay noted persistent denial regarding sexual abuse, rape, and incest that led women to these homes, whilst fathers avoided accountability. "They say things like the women were incarcerated and enslaved for being pregnant," McKay told the Post. "Well, how did they get pregnant? Was it like an immaculate conception?" Her mother entered the home after experiencing sexual assault as a teenager by an industrial school caretaker, where she had been placed for "delinquency" following her mother's death and father's abandonment. Margaret "Maggie" O'Connor had earlier revealed this secret only in her seventies, breaking down whilst sharing her story. In 1942, six months post-childbirth at Tuam, whilst at another facility, a nun informed O'Connor, "the child of your sin is dead." She maintained silence afterwards. Two decades later, McKay spotted a newspaper headline about a "shock discovery" in Tuam. The list included her sister, Mary Margaret O'Connor, deceased in 1943. Barbara Buckley, born at Tuam in 1957, was adopted by a Cork family at 19 months. She learned of her adoption in adulthood through a cousin and later located her birth mother via an agency. Her mother visited from London in 2000, coincidentally during Buckley's birthday, unaware of the date's significance. "I found it very hard to understand, how did she not know it was my birthday?" Buckley said. "Delving deep into the thoughts of the mothers, you know, they put it so far back. They weren't dealing with it anymore." Her mother worked in the laundry for a year before being dismissed, despite requesting to stay. She remembered only glimpses of sky above high walls. Upon departing, her mother announced she wouldn't return, citing secrecy concerns. "She said, 'I don't want anyone finding out about this,'" Buckley said, the New York Post reported. "Going back to 1957 — and it was still a dark secret," Buckley added. Pete Cochran considers himself fortunate, having been adopted at 16 months by an American family, avoiding the stigma associated with illegitimacy in Ireland. "I hope they don't find 796 bodies," he said. "That all these children were adopted and had a good life like I did."
The Print
2 days ago
- The Print
‘More careful than colourful'—ThePrint's reporting on the Air India crash put facts first
This Readers Editor column considers ThePrint's approach to its reporting on AI-171 and the subsequent preliminary findings of the investigation by the Aircraft Accident Investigation Bureau (AIBB) released on 12 July 2025. When you're reporting on something as devastating, sensitive—and immediate—as the Air India-171 crash last month, it is crucial to remember the value of good journalism, amid the endless theories on the reasons for the accident. Good journalism requires good hygiene. That means you have to write clean copy and provide the audience with a clear picture of the events you report. You have to cut out all the frills, the speculation, the 'extras'—which might make your reporting more lively and interesting to read, but don't always give readers accurate, factual, verified information. ThePrint's coverage was descriptive but factual and based on reliable sources. When you go through the articles or watch the videos, you will notice that the reporters are being selective in their choice of words. After reading or watching most of the reporting, I'd say it was more careful than colourful. The day of crash The afternoon of 12 June was just another normal day at ThePrint. I remember that it was a Thursday because I was at ThePrint's office in New Delhi for my weekly meeting with colleagues. It was fairly quiet as afternoons go, with reporters out on assignments, and those in the office staring at the computer monitors or mobile phones. Suddenly, it came to life. I saw people rush to watch the television monitors, and as I joined them, I beheld a sea of serious faces around me. The AI-171 had crash-landed at Ahmedabad airport. Nisheeth Upadhyay, Editor News Operations, realised it was huge. 'Whenever a commercial flight crashes it is a huge deal. We knew this was a big story.' The immediate response was to put out a 'Breaking News' story with the little information available. Next was to check for an accurate reading of the flight's movements up to its fall to the ground. Since I don't work on the editorial side of operations at ThePrint, I began to feel a little redundant, and in people's way. So, I sat on the sidelines and watched. A quick edit meeting was convened and everyone present in the office came together to suggest immediate story ideas. 'We felt, instinctively, that we should report the news as it came through and could be confirmed, but also do stories that added value,' Upadhyay said. 'From the moment it happened, there was so much noise in the media and social media—everyone was playing expert. 'At ThePrint, we were clear: Be sensitive, give the information, don't analyse—just plain, simple facts and information that can be confirmed. No conjecture.'' The difficulty that arose was the lack of access to the facts of the accident—or to any immediate information from the site of the crash in Ahmedabad—ThePrint doesn't have its own correspondent in the Gujarat capital. In stepped, Rama Lakshmi, Editor, Opinion and Ground Reports, and her team to fill the void. 'We had to keep reader interest going,' said Lakshmi. She also had previous experience covering airplane crashes, which helped. 'I put on my reporter's cap and looked for different angles to the story until our reporters reached the accident spot,'' she added. The reporters in the Delhi Ground Reports team filed reports on past history and the context of the incident. From other commercial flight crashes in India and Air India's current fleet of aircraft, accounts of survivors in Ahmedabad, stories of people who suffered in similar plan crashes, to another sole survivor of an air crash, the revamp of Ahmedabad runway, and the last social media post of some victims—these were some of the early stories put out by ThePrint. Interviewing victims & tackling misinformation The most pressing concern was to get on-ground reporting from Ahmedabad. ThePrint's nearest reporting team was in Mumbai. 'We were unsure of flights taking off from Mumbai and being able to land in Ahmedabad,' recalled Manasi Phadke, Deputy Editor based in Mumbai, who reached the city the next morning. Luckily, the Delhi-Ahmedabad evening flight was on schedule, so National Photo editor Praveen Jain and Senior Correspondent Krishan Murari flew out. 'I have covered earlier air crashes—Charkhi Dadri, for example. So I knew what it was like on the ground,' said Jain. In 1996, a midair collision between two commercial aircraft over Charkhi Dadri outside Delhi killed 349 people. Krishan Murari had never reported on an air crash or any accident of this proportion. He'd reported on Operation Sindoor and the Pahalgam terrorist attack in May. AI-171 presented a different challenge. 'After Operation Sindoor, coming to this, I realised you need a completely different kind of vocabulary. You have to be far more sensitive. I'd call it compassionate journalism,' he said. Praveen Jain and Krishan Murari reached Ahmedabad within 12 hours of the crash and visited the site, the hospital, and the mortuary. 'It was very hot outside, and even inside, the temperature was higher than it should have been. There was an overwhelming smell of the charred bodies,' Murari added. Together, they filed a number of stories over the next few days. Here are some of them: Meet the forensic dentist racing against time so kin of Air India crash victims can say final goodbye Air India crash: Inside Ahmedabad hospital morgue, bodies await DNA ID as doctors race against heat, time Confusion, debris & bodies at Air India crash site. Rescue worker first thought it was cylinder blast Air India crash: All 4 hostel buildings of BJ Medical College emptied amid site investigation This Air India crash eyewitness cheated death by a whisker—'a blast, then a fireball, just 200 m away' Manasi Phadke found the lack of official information to be one of the major stumbling blocks in her first few days of reporting. 'The media was the least important for them, so we had to source information wherever we could,'' she said, 'We had to be very careful, not speculate.' So, she had to piece together information. Here are some of the stories she filed: 11 DNA matches 48 hrs after Air India crash: Process of releasing victims' bodies to families begins The crash, the rescue & aftermath—Inside the first 36 hours at ground zero of Air India crash Behind the scenes of Gujarat's Air India crash response—4 IAS officers, 36 DNA experts & 230 teams Medical college's exam hall turns into DNA sampling centre. For victims' kin, it's the longest test yet After a week's search, family working in hostel mess cremates mother & 2-yr-old killed in Air India crash Phadke, Jain and Murari turned to doctors, workers, and the families of the victims. 'Families presented a challenge, a lot of them were angry. You can't just walk up to them and say, 'Kya hua?'. 'We had to be sensitive—I didn't use the camera immediately—I waited till they were at ease,' recalled Praveen Jain. As far as possible, he tried to click pictures from a distance. Even, then, one family member of a victim scolded him for taking pictures and Jain immediately apologised. Phadke said she had to make people feel comfortable before they spoke. Some like to speak – 'I am still in touch with at least one relative,' she said, adding, 'You have to talk around the subject, be conversational.' Also read: Inside ThePrint's mailbox—readers bring us praise, critique, and everything in between Unpacking investigation report Back in Delhi, Bismee Taskin, Principal Correspondent, was keeping an eye out for government communications. 'My job was to get in touch with the DGCA, the civil aviation ministry. To confirm information, verify it with at least two reliable sources,' she explained. She was also in touch with former pilots of Air India. When the preliminary report was released on 12 July, she reported it. 'Preliminary report is like an FIR,' said Taskin, 'No conclusions should be based on it. You have to wait till the final report for probable cause.' Taskin's stories, therefore, were straightforward, simply putting out what the report stated. Have a look: Air India crash spotlights 2018 advisory on Boeing switches installed with locking feature disengaged Air India crash preliminary report: A look at what fuel switches are designed to do & built-in safeguards Throughout the last month and a half, victims' families, aviation experts and the average reader want to know what brought the aircraft down? Why did it crash? There are so many technical details to it—and a lay person, with no understanding of them was prey to various theories doing the rounds. Nisheeth Upadhyay is, in his own words, an 'aviation nut''. Thus, it was possible for him to understand the complex (mal)functioning of an aircraft and to explain it in simple language. 'I was very careful not to act as an authority on the subject, just to describe what we knew had happened and to explain,'' he said, 'No aviation experting.'' On the preliminary report, which led to so much speculation and finger-pointing to pilot error in some foreign news media such as the Wall Street Journal, Upadhyay said only the final report mattered: 'There is not enough evidence to attribute blame. And so, ThePrint's line was that—there's not enough information to reach a conclusion.' I would recommend you watch his videos: they are clear, concise, and to the point, factual—without unnecessary opinion or speculation. I know I learned a great deal from them. The common thread in ThePrint's reporting—from the ground and Delhi—was to keep it simple, stick to verified facts and attribute views clearly. I have one suggestion newsrooms like ThePrint could consider: After tough assignments in the field, reporters may need some assistance in dealing with the traumas they witness. It can be overwhelming, especially for young reporters. Counselling is one option, and a few days' leave may help them cope better. Shailaja Bajpai is ThePrint's Readers' Editor. Please write in with your views and complaints to (Edited by Ratan Priya)
Deccan Herald
2 days ago
- Deccan Herald
RPF rescues 376 children who went missing or ran away
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