'Am I bad for keeping it a secret?' - 29-year-old hides RM100k savings from wife who likes to waste money

The Sun

5 days ago

Would you tell your big-spending spouse about your secret savings?
A 29-year-old Malaysian man has sparked a lively debate online after admitting he has secretly saved over RM100,000 without his wife's knowledge.
In an anonymous post on Threads, the man explained that he has been quietly building an emergency fund over the past two years of marriage, describing his wife as someone who 'likes to waste money.'
'Mein, M29, my savings money is already RM100K++. Am I bad for keeping this a secret from my wife for two years?' he wrote. 'Because I don't like it that later when she knows, she will ask for all sorts of things and waste money.'
He added that he provides his wife with a monthly allowance and keeps their lifestyle simple, while setting aside money in case of emergencies.
'So usually I give her an allowance, we live simply, and save money. I plan to use the savings only for emergencies.'
The confession has since gone viral, drawing mixed reactions. Many netizens sided with the man, praising his financial foresight and agreeing that it's wise to have a safety net—especially when one partner tends to overspend.
'It's okay to keep it a secret, to be honest. He knows his wife tends to spend unnecessarily. Usually, guys who are good at saving money also know how to manage their finances—as long as they're also sharing the family commitments 50/50 and not hoarding all the savings for themselves,' commented hey_serahhh.
However, others were less sympathetic, arguing that secrecy around finances could damage trust in a marriage.
'My opinion is that as husband and wife, you shouldn't be hiding anything from each other—especially when it comes to money and matters of sustenance. Even if your wife asks you to buy things, you can still manage it. You don't have to give in to everything. Don't you think that maybe you were able to save that much because you've been blessed through your wife's sustenance too? You're not a bad person, bro, but if it were me, I'd feel hurt if my husband kept something like this from me. Just my opinion, okay,' said sangsemol.