Family and faith, ferociously: Erminia Nocita lived to look after the people she loved
If there's one word that described Erminia Nocita, it's fierce — or, as she would have said in Italian, 'feroce.'
'She loved fiercely, she cared fiercely (and) she faced all the challenges in her life fiercely,' says Sarah Babson, Nocita's eldest grandchild. 'She kind of had to be that way, I think.'
Indeed, Nocita, who died last November at the age of 86, had a lot to contend with. She and her husband, Domenico, moved to Canada from Italy to make a better life for the twins Nocita was pregnant with. About 10 months after Ted and Joe were born, Nocita gave birth to another set of twins, Tony and Sam — even before she spoke English or had made any friends.
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Erminia Nocita, here celebrating her 86th birthday in April 2024, died in November surrounded by family, just as she'd lived her life.
Caring for Domenico and their four sons became her focus.
'No matter what, you could feel the passion and love for her family when you talked to her,' Babson says.
Nocita was born on April 12, 1938, in Satriano, a town in the Calabria region in southern Italy.
The second-youngest of 10 children, Nocita was a devout Roman Catholic who considered becoming a nun in her youth. She spent much of her teens and early 20s in a convent, and that's where she met Domenico. The two locked eyes as Domenico walked by one day and they struck up a conversation.
They were married in the spring of 1962 and Nocita became pregnant shortly thereafter. Domenico had a brother in Winnipeg and, sensing that life would be better for their family in Manitoba, he and Erminia left Italy. The couple settled in the city for about a year before moving to a rural property north of the Perimeter.
Ted and Joe were born at the end of December 1962, and Tony and Sam joined the family the following November. While Domenico worked as a mason, Nocita ran the household. Domenico's brother lived with the family, too.
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Nocita (front, seated) was the second youngest in her family, pictured here circa 1950.
'Mom had no close friends, as she didn't have time to go out and socialize,' remembers Ted Nocita, who describes his mother as selfless, generous, hardworking, upbeat and energetic. 'She worked her entire life and sacrificed her life… for her family.'
Nocita taught herself English by watching soap operas, including Another World, and cooking shows such as The Galloping Gourmet and Wok with Yan. She dedicated 30 minutes each day to participating in her favourite TV exercise shows and never missed a workout in more than three decades.
Cooking for her family was one of the primary ways Nocita expressed her love. She could create something delicious out of the most basic ingredients and had a magical touch that made leftovers taste even better the next day.
Sunday family lunches were special occasions that featured many traditional Italian dishes, including pasta, meatballs, chicken and veal cutlets, seafood dishes and salads made using produce from the family's garden.
Nocita's legendary Christmas Eve dinners were the highlight of the year and there was such a variety of food that it left the 15 or 20 guests astounded.
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Nocita holds her first set of twins, Joe (left) and Ted (right), in 1963.
'That's when she was at her happiest, was when we were all together enjoying a meal,' Ted says.
Babson recalls making arancini with her grandmother and requesting her lasagna for family celebrations. She's attempted to make the same foods using Nocita's recipes.
'No matter how hard I tried, even if I followed her instructions to a T… I couldn't get it to be the same,' Babson says. 'She must have added something special or her love could be tasted in it, for sure. I could not replicate it.'
'She was the best cook I have ever known,' adds daughter-in-law, Loretta Nocita, who married Sam in 1987.
'Everything she made was so delicious.'
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Nocita with (from left) Joe, Sam, Ted and Tony with the family's 1950s Chevy in 1967.
Nocita welcomed two daughters-in-law into the family and eventually six grandchildren and one great-grandchild. Her fierce love and concern for everyone were always on display and she generously shared advice on every occasion.
Much of that advice related to being strong and honourable, the importance of getting a good education and the value of surrounding yourself with trustworthy people.
'She was fearless, she was strong, she told you what she was thinking and she never held back,' Loretta says. 'You knew when she disagreed with you because she would end the discussion with, 'Ah, what are you going to do?' She said what she was going to say and she respected our choices in the end.'
A lifelong music enthusiast who loved classical works and singing Italian folk songs, Nocita started playing the guitar after Domenico died in 2004. She took pleasure in strumming, singing and entertaining.
One memorable Christmas at the Convalescent Home of Winnipeg, where she spent her last few years, Nocita captivated everyone when she outperformed the entertainer during a rendition of O Holy Night.
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Nocita and husband Domenico (left) met back in Italy when he passed by the convent where she spent her teens and 20s.
'She just started belting it out and took it over and the whole room stopped and watched her,' Ted says. 'She just loved that.'
'When the occasion arose later on in life where she could be around people, she was the joy of the party,' he adds. 'She was very outgoing.'
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The once-aspiring nun remained a believer until the end, drawing strength from her deep faith throughout her life. She prayed constantly for every member of her family, confident that God was in control and often stating, 'come vuole Dio' (as God wills).
'When she had adversity, she'd always resort to praying and asking for help from God,' Ted says. 'It was never missing from her life.'
Nocita died on Nov. 27, surrounded by family — fitting for a woman who dedicated her life to the people she cared about.
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Erminia Nocita was dedicated to her family.
'Her family was everything to her,' Loretta says. 'She lifted us up with her love.'
aaron.epp@freepress.mb.ca
Aaron EppReporter
Aaron Epp reports on business for the Free Press. After freelancing for the paper for a decade, he joined the staff full-time in 2024. He was previously the associate editor at Canadian Mennonite. Read more about Aaron.
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