In Utah, tipping fatigue has bottomed out. Is it time for an intervention?
In New Hampshire — the best tipping state in the country — tips accounted for 16% of the money spent on eating out, including at full-service restaurants and limited-service restaurants. Nationally, the average was 6.75%. In Utah, tips accounted for 4.09%. The lowest in the nation.
And that's pretty embarrassing.
Sure, these numbers may not tell the whole story, since the whole study is always difficult to encapsulate in one single study.
Yes, it gets a little murky when you consider that 4.09% includes limited-service restaurants as well as full-service restaurants. Because I was never taught that we were supposed to tip cashiers and now I'm prompted to pay an extra $5-$10 anytime I buy anything.
Tipping fatigue is real. I've lived it. We're all being presented with tip selection screens at the end of what feels like every single transaction. Buying a soda. Filling our cars with gas. Talking to a stranger.
And there are absolutely compelling arguments to be made for eliminating tips all together and paying service workers a living wage. Because really, no one's income should be contingent on customers' generosity and or moods.
But even considering the nuances, any which way you slice it, the fact remains that Utah is the stingiest state in the country when it comes to tipping.
And I just can't stand for it.
I feel the need to stage an intervention with my entire state. I imagine us all gathered in a giant living room somewhere. Actually, no, we're probably in a church cultural hall on metal folding chairs because that is a space that can accommodate a lot more people and at any given time there are approximately one million chairs stored under the stage of any Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meetinghouse cultural hall. We're really good at setting those chairs up and taking them down so preparation and cleanup would be a breeze.
If I were put in charge of leading this intervention, which I never would be because I hate confrontation, but if I were, I would look in the eyes of those among us who have been tipping 4% and tell them to imagine being a service provider for our gigantic families.
The thing about Utah, notoriously, is that we have a lot of kids.
Kids are so wonderful. A blessing really. But also, they're not fully formed humans yet. Instead they're on the training wheels of life, and the only way they can learn to be in society is to be in society.
This discourse pops up every so often online — do babies and children belong in public life? In restaurants, on airplanes, in hotels, and so on? I'm very much on the side of yes, of course they do, because how else will they learn proper behavior in restaurants, on airplanes and in hotels? But that doesn't mean it's always a smooth learning process. In fact it's often pretty bumpy. Babies cry on airplanes and kids scream while getting their hair cut and they all leave food messes in restaurants so catastrophic that one might feel justified in calling FEMA.
We once took our toddler with us to dinner with friends at an Indian restaurant. I don't know how it's possible, but by the end of the meal there was more rice on the floor than had been served to us at the table. The rice had somehow multiplied. Exponentially. And covered the ground beneath not just our table, but surrounding tables as well. I don't remember my daughter actively flinging spoonfuls of rice around the restaurant but maybe she did it when my back was turned?
The staff was incredibly kind and told us not to worry when we apologized. But we were horrified and left the largest tip we'd ever left anywhere, as a way to apologize for the minor human-made disaster our offspring had caused.
And I guess I just assumed that more parents had similar experiences and that would bring up our tipping average. But the numbers don't reflect that.
So I would conclude the intervention by reminding everyone that no one deserves more monetary gratitude than the service workers who help our many, many children with their many, many messes, and do it with a smile.
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