Of sobriety, reclaiming one's sense of self

Borneo Post

23-05-2025

The columnist, seen seated at third right, with his guests in this photo, taken during his 75th birthday party at The Sarawak Club in Kuching on March 31 this year. — Photo courtesy of Tan Wee Chung
YESTERDAY, May 23, was something of a landmark date for me – I have been sober for exactly two years!
For someone who has been drinking for more than 53 years, it is quite an achievement and personal victory.
I had started drinking in March 1970, at age 20, when it had become an essential 'job description' and 'necessary evil' tied in with my employment with The Borneo Company Ltd as an executive cadet.
I was assigned to the Guinness Department at their Kuching branch, which at the time was located at Thomson Road (now Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman) and where the Kuching Hilton was built in 1988.
My direct superior then was Alan Cheng Kuo Chiu, a perfect gentleman who was to become my lifelong friend.
I was surprised to discover that Alan, my senior by at least a decade, was himself a teetotaller.
He had managed very nicely to fit in as the job involved experienced marketing management skills, whereas as a newbie, I had dived rather enthusiastically right into a life befitting a bon vivant.
My personal drinking, which had started with promoting my department's sales of Guinness Stout, had carried later on in the coming years with the introduction of the beers Gold Harp, Eagle and Goldie.
From there onwards, it was a rapid transition down the green grapes and golden grains road to the world of wines and spirits.
Our company had also been importers of all such brands of alcoholic beverages from France, Portugal, Spain, Germany, China, the UK, Australia and the USA.
Our market brand leaders had included Gordon's Dry Gin, Black & White Whisky, Famous Grouse, Jim Beam, Harvey's Sherries, Macallan, Paul Mason Wines, Seppelts, Thomas Hardy's, and Taittinger – the champagne James Bond drinks.
However the New World wines from countries like Argentina, Chile and South Africa, as well as whiskies from Japan, were still neither trendy nor widely available, up until the 1990s.
For the next 14 years I had worked for the Inchcape Group and was transferred to Sibu, Sarikei, Miri and Kuala Belait; eventually ending up once more at headquarters in Kuching.
After the initial few years dedicated to the wines and spirits sector, I was promoted to being branch manager and later, general manager; so although not directly involved, I was still at the forefront when it came to entertaining clients and principals.
Most of this involved lots of imbibing of the 'nectar of the Gods'.
I could certainly have decided somewhere along the way that I take a path of more moderation in my drinking, but the truth of the matter was that I had loved the rituals that were involved.
I had changed from stout and beers to drinking more wines and spirits – of the latter, I discovered my love for gin and single-malt whisky.
It is a belief, and a proven societal norm, that those with common interests and habits tend to gather together on a regular basis. Thus, you would always see the same group of golfers at their favourite clubs; exercise enthusiasts at their gyms; and groups of fellow drinkers at their pubs and drinking holes.
I have had friends and relatives whom I have been drinking with for more than five decades.
Up till two years ago, I had groups of friends whom I socialised and drink with whom had encompassed various eras of my life.
A group that had lasted longest consisted of my classmates, many from 1957 at St Thomas' Primary School in Kuching when we had started Primary 1 together.
I still see them regularly today: they include Dato Goh Leng Chua, Philip Yong, George Pang, Arthur Goh, Bujang Abon and David Ting.
From my former workplaces since 1970 had been mentors, work colleagues and mates, of whom those who had greatly touched my life were my grand-uncle Ong Tiaw Sian, his bestie Stephen Liew, John Lee, Geoff Shepherd, Brian Crane and Frank Burke-Gaffney, Shookry Gani, Kho Boon Kuang, Lim Swee Jin, Benjamin Chen, Datuk Song Swee Guan, Gerard Tan, Alan Tan, Puan Sri Nelly Tan-Shim, Hiroyuki Yamada, Ting Chang Siong and Ralph Marshall.
There are too many names among my still regular and those in touch on a 'frequent' basis to name here, suffice to say that for more than five decades, I have had the good fortune to have been part of many 'drink-friendly' groups.
The columnist (standing, second left) and his friends celebrating Oktoberfest at then-Holiday Inn Kuching, seen in this photo taken in 1978.
That phrase 'under the influence' is probably one of the best and most descriptive in the English language to describe the feeling and sensation that one feels when one is totally immersed in the 'hangover mode' after imbibing an over-indulgence of whatever intoxicant of the moment.
Over the lengthy period when I was happily indulging in alcoholic beverages, I had gained many great and interesting experiences and insights. It would also be true to say that the spirits had been responsible for a great many personal revelations and sharing of personal episodes involving relationships and confessions.
One had often to take on the heavy burden of being a listener and counsellor, and be able to advise, guide and offer solutions or help shoulder the problem.
There is, of course, the negative side of being under the influence.
Sadly, I have friends who are calm, steady and soft spoken during normal times but could quickly turn loud and even violent when having had 'a few too many'.
The other way around also is true; those heavy-hitters turning softie with teary-eyed tales after drinks have tipped the innermost sensitivities of their hearts.
I also have stories of fellow drinkers who have had experienced self-inflicted accidents in their vehicles on and off the roads.
More than on a few occasions, a friend or two had decided that they were too tired or too drunk to continue driving and while on their way home, had driven themselves to the side of a lonely road, and parked safely off the road side, and fallen asleep inside the car.
One of them had even fallen asleep after he had reached home, but did not have the strength to get out of the car – he ended up sleeping inside the garage.
Antics like these were rather common then. In recent times, such stories are rare.
We have all grown older, wiser and less prone to regular overindulging. There is also the wonder called Grab, and they make use of this facility fully.
I feel very blessed that I have managed to survive all these years of self-indulgence, and over-imbibing and that today, Praise be to God, that although the prime consideration of why I decided to go sober two years ago (under my doctors' medical advice!) was a straightforward 'do-or-die' decision.
I have no regrets.
I do not miss the mornings when I get up hungover. As the years have gone by, from bingeing nights up till 2am, going to bed at 3am and getting up at 6am to get to work at 7am – it gets harder as the body ages.
I do not miss what I call 'lost weekends' – long binges when one forgets what one had done during the last 36 hours!
I do not miss those long drawn-out drink sessions.
I remember one particular one in Sibu during my younger days when we had started at 9am at the butchers' market, continued till lunch at their favourite local 'kopitiam', went on to 'teatime' at a friend's pub, then a wild boar supper at Pulau Babi, ending up around 2am the following morning when my head hit my pillow at Queensway!
Indeed, to have survived that session and so many others similar to that at so many different places and venues, with different friends and acquaintances, was quite an experience and I would never ever forget them, nor wished now that they had never happened.
In claiming my state of sobriety today, I am grateful that I am able to take back my life, and be able to wake up each morning fully refreshed, totally sober, and that I have neither yearning nor the desire to get back to that life, which now seems a lifetime away.
Today I no longer drink whisky, although I must admit that for more than 25 years, my dram of choice was a 10-year old Laphroaig single malt.
On very special occasions, like during my recent 75th birthday, I had indulged in a couple of glasses of wine; and a cold beer or two for other very exceptional occasions.
Otherwise, I no longer consider myself a regular drinker.
I am blessed to be alive and sober. I thank my medical specialists for this, but most of all, I praise God for His Grace, Guidance and Goodness.
Amen.
* The opinions expressed in this article are the columnist's own and do not reflect the view of the newspaper.