The science of breakups: As Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom call it quits, scientist reveals the strategies most commonly used to end a relationship

Daily Mail​

7 hours ago

Following weeks of swirling rumours and speculation, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have reportedly called time on their relationship.
After nine years and one child together, the I Kissed A Girl singer and Lord of the Rings actor have allegedly broken up.
Their split has been 'amicable', according to sources, but details of their separation have not yet been released.
However, science could shed some light on how the breakup went down.
There are nine strategies commonly used to end a relationship, which can be grouped into three overall categories, according to new research.
Although many studies have examined why people break up, few have looked closely at how breakups happen.
A team, from the University of Nicosia, conducted two studies involving more than 600 people.
Some participants were asked to imagine themselves in an unhappy relationship and write down how they would end it, while others were asked how likely they were to use 45 different breakup methods.
The team grouped the 45 breakup methods into nine overall strategies.
These included approaches like 'cold and distant' (gradually pulling away), 'explain the reasons' (offering a direct and honest conversation), 'ghosting' (disappearing with no notice), 'take the blame' (ending the relationship while accepting responsibility) and 'have been unfaithful' (citing infidelity or interest in someone else).
The remaining four strategies were to 'take some time off' (requesting a break), 'see you as a friend' (offering friendship), 'we'd be better off apart' (explaining that separation is best), and 'avoid ending it face to face' (using a phone call or text).
The scientists discovered that these nine approaches fit into three broader strategies.
Analysis of participants' responses revealed the most popular breakup tactic is the 'soften the blow' approach, which 86 per cent of people surveyed said they would use.
This method combined acts like explaining the reasons for the breakup, accepting some or all of the blame, and trying to convince the partner that separating would benefit both people.
The second approach was 'take a break', used by about 24 percent of people. Here, the person ending the relationship suggests a temporary separation, allowing both parties to assess their feelings and decide if the relationship should continue.
The least common approach was 'avoid confrontation', used by roughly 16 percent of people, in which someone disappears or becomes distant until the relationship quietly ends.
Nine breakup strategies
'Cold and distant' (gradually pulling away)
'Explain the reasons' (offering a direct and honest conversation)
'Ghosting' (disappearing with no notice)
'Take the blame' (ending the relationship while accepting responsibility)
'Have been unfaithful' (citing infidelity or interest in someone else)
'Take some time off' (requesting a break)
'See you as a friend' (offering friendship)
'We'd be better off apart' (explaining that separation is best)
'Avoid ending it face to face' (using a phone call or text)
'Most people will experience the end of an intimate relationship - usually several times - with either themselves or their partners initiating it,' study author Professor Menelaos Apostolou told PsyPost.
'Because this phenomenon is relatively common and painful, I was motivated to ask how people actually do so, which the current research aimed to address.
'The most preferred one is 'Soften the blow,' involving explaining the breakup reasons, taking responsibility, and convincing the partner that separation is beneficial for both.'
Further analysis of how personality traits were linked to strategy choice found a few significant links – mainly that people who had higher levels of agreeableness were less likely to use the 'cold and distant' approach.
People with higher levels of psychopathy, however, were more likely to blame their partner for the breakup, the study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, revealed.
Katy Perry has uploaded a very telling post to as she shared a glimpse into her 'life purpose' following her split from Orlando Bloom.
The US pop star, 40, re-shared a video to her Instagram Stories from a content creator who teaches followers the 'Laws of the Universe' to help them 'heal your life'.
She claimed a person's purpose in life is determined by the phase of the moon on the day of their birth, with Katy indicating her purpose is to start 'new chapters'.
'The phase of the moon that was during your date of birth determines your purpose,' the video explained.
According to Katy's birthday, 25 October 1984, she was born on a Waning Crescent.
'If you were born on a waning crescent, you are here to complete the mission that you feel,' the clip claimed.
'You are ending things that no longer serve the collective. You are setting the new stone for new chapters. You are here to save people.'
Meanwhile, Orlando Bloom enjoyed a frisky night with a mystery woman at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's lavish pre-wedding party in Italy on Thursday.
The newly-minted bachelor, 47, was spotted leaving the Madonna dell Orto cloisters with a glamorous brunette after guests were forced to end the night early following a freak thunderstorm in Venice.
WHEN YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER
Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at University of Missouri says on-off relationships are associated with higher rates of abuse, poorer communication and lower levels of commitment.
People in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about either staying together once and for all or terminating their relationship.
Here are his top five tips to work out whether it's the right time to end your relationship –
1. When considering rekindling a relationship that ended or avoiding future breakups, partners should think about the reasons they broke up to determine if there are consistent or persistent issues impacting the relationship.
2. Having explicit conversations about issues that have led to break ups can be helpful, especially if the issues will likely reoccur. If there was ever violence in the relationship, however, or if having a conversation about relationship issues can lead to safety concerns, consider seeking support-services when it is safe to do so.
3. Similar to thinking about the reasons the relationship ended, spend time thinking about the reasons why reconciliation might be an option. Is the reason rooted in commitment and positive feelings, or more about obligations and convenience? The latter reasons are more likely to lead down a path of continual distress.
4. Remember that it is okay to end a toxic relationship. For example, if your relationship is beyond repair, do not feel guilty leaving for your mental or physical well-being.
5. Couples therapy or relationship counselling is not just for partners on the brink of divorce. Even happy dating and married couples can benefit from 'relationship check-ups' in order to strengthen the connection between partners and have additional support in approaching relationship transitions.