Empty nesters 'not too old' to become foster carers
Empty nesters should not worry they are too old to become foster carers, as those who have made the move tell the BBC they have "a huge amount to offer" .Parents who started fostering after their grown-up children left home encouraged others to "just go for it".It comes after the children's minister urged empty nesters to consider fostering due to a "decline in the number of foster carers to the point of crisis".But charity The Fostering Network warns government action falls short of what is needed to recruit and retain dedicated carers.
When Sharon quit her job and became a foster carer aged 51, her friends and family asked: "Why would you want to?"Her own children had grown up, and she had more time to spend with her husband Tim at their home in Leicester.But Sharon was set on fostering because she "wanted to make a difference".Foster carers provide a home to children who cannot live with their birth family for different reasons.These include short-term family crises like an illness, or experiences such as abuse and neglect. Children can be looked after for short or long periods of time.At first, Sharon and Tim had "some very difficult times" with the foster child, who the BBC is not naming.He has since had "a complete transformation", she said. He is thriving at school, has lots of friends, and is learning to play the trumpet.
Sharon says she now does her "own advertising" for fostering later in life with family and friends."Some of my friends say, 'I couldn't do it'. I say, 'why not?'"Just go for it, you see there's so many children who need just the basics in life, a loving secure home, and to feel that sense of belonging."More than 56,000 children were in foster care in England in 2024, according to government data, while The Fostering Network estimates there is a shortage of 5,000 foster carers.Minister for Children and Families Janet Daby has urged empty nesters to help address this shortage."Maybe your child has left for university, you are retired, or you feel like you can give a child the fulfilling family they deserve," she told the BBC."We urge anyone who is interested to reach out to your local council to find out more about making a difference to a child's life chances."
'We've not been written off'
Allan's first question when he and his wife first looked into fostering, aged 64, was: "Am I too old?"Without their three adult children, their four-bedroom family home in Scotland was not as full as it once was."I began to feel a bit selfish," he told BBC Radio 4's Today programme."I said to my wife, we really could do this and take someone in."Their children were surprised and urged their parents to "enjoy life".But Allan and his wife were told "if you're healthy, fit and you feel that you want to do this, you're definitely not too old"."They gave us a bit of a lift really, thinking we've not been written off."However, Allan admits the child they came to foster was curious about his age."He saw my date of birth (and asked), 'are you really?'"The Fostering Network estimates there is currently a shortage of 400 foster carers in Scotland, where the latest figures show more than 3,900 children were in foster care in 2023.The Scottish government provided more than £2m to support foster carers in 2024-25, and more than £150,000 towards carer recruitment, training and advice services.When Allan's foster child arrived, he was "scared, very unsure - not knowing how long it's going to last".Now, he sees Allan's grandchildren as his cousins, and the grown-up children as his aunt and uncles."My message to older people is, if you're even thinking about it, at least pursue it."
Steve and Liz had reservations about fostering when the idea occurred to them 20 years ago."But we just felt we had such a huge amount to offer," said Steve, 70, from the West Midlands."We had space in the house, were used to having children, and had the time."Since then, they have fostered 16 children.Steve said people should approach fostering with their eyes "wide open"."The young people have experienced lots of different things your own children wouldn't normally do," he explained."But you can pick the phone up and speak with a supporting social worker very easily… they'll come back to you with strategies."Once you get into the swing of it, it feels natural."Steve and Liz are currently caring for two boys who are progressing "absolutely brilliantly", and are eager to see what the future holds.In the short term, they are planning their "huge" annual Easter egg hunt - in which their children, grandchildren, and former foster children will take part."Certainly if you've got an inkling you'd like to try it, try it," Steve added.
In the Spring Statement, the chancellor announced £25m over two years to recruit 400 more foster families in England, improve support for carers, and ensure placements were available to children when needed.The Fostering Network's chief executive Sarah Thomas agreed more carers were "desperately needed," but said further action on retention was crucial. Dedicated carers were stepping away due to "a lack of support, insufficient respect from professionals, and burnout", she told the BBC."Without addressing these fundamental issues, the system will continue to struggle."The children's minister recognised the impact foster carers have "on breaking down barriers to opportunity and nurturing some of our most vulnerable children".She said the government was "committed to removing barriers for carers – ensuring that age, training and background don't stand in the way", and offering support and advice at regional fostering hubs.
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