Giving your kids a '90s-style summer is all the rage. Is it even possible to pull off now?

Yahoo

5 days ago

Are screen-free, unstructured summers too good to be true?
In a now-viral Instagram post from last year, Nebraska mom Markay Cunningham narrates a typical summer day for kids in the '90s: Food was a box of ice pops plopped on the ground, water came from the hose around the corner, and the rule was to stay outside unless you're hurt or it's storming. In the clip, Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven Is a Place on Earth' plays in the background. It's a snapshot of the quintessential summer vacation of yore: unstructured time, low supervision and not a screen in sight. No wonder everyone's reminiscing about '90s summers and trying to re-create the magic for their own kids. The question is, Is it really what today's parents want?
'It's kind of making me feel like shit,' Big Little Feelings co-founder (and Yahoo parenting ambassador) Kristin Gallant recently said on Instagram. 'I think it's a great concept if it works for your family. The problem is, for a lot of us it just doesn't.'
For starters, Gallant pointed out, many working parents rely on the structure and supervision that summer camp provides. Single-income families are much less common today compared with decades past, and with both parents at work, the freedom to roam all day isn't really an option.
Parents of neurodivergent and highly sensitive children may also take issue with the trend, Gallant added. Routines mean predictability, which can lessen anxiety and improve focus. A large swath of unstructured time could bring about feelings of dysregulation instead of relaxation in these kids.
Other modern-day concerns make a '90s summer seem more like a hazy daydream than a real-life approach to the season. Here's what parents told us they're up against.
The screen struggle
Author Kelly Oxford recently took to her Substack to eulogize the '90s, lamenting that with the birth of screens came the death of patience and boredom — two necessities to any kid's summer vacation. But screen time has become so baked into our lives that opting out is almost unheard of, says Shayl Griffith, PhD, an assistant professor in the Department of Counseling, Recreation and School Psychology at Florida International University (FIU) and researcher at FIU's Center for Children and Families.
'Because devices and content are more easily accessible and varied, having a 'low-tech' summer would be very difficult for most families without deliberate planning and structure,' Griffith tells Yahoo. ''Low-tech' and 'unstructured' for most families is not going to go hand in hand in this digital landscape.' In other words, kids without a schedule are bound to wind up scrolling through YouTube all day instead of running through the sprinkler with pals from the neighborhood.
Being intentional is the antidote, Griffith says. Whatever that looks like is up to each family. She recommends parents talk with their children about what their ideal summer includes — time outdoors, playing with friends, pursuing a hobby, etc. — and let those pursuits lead the way.
'A screen time routine for the summer should then be built to fit around these other important and valued activities and goals,' she says.
Fostering independence — to a degree
Oxford tells Yahoo Life that '90s kid summers don't work today because the world is different.
'You can't put your kid outside until the streetlights come on when Karen next door will call Child Services,' she says. 'You can't let them walk to the corner store when every parent is tracking their location with an app.'
Even when phone-free time is intentional, it can still be nerve-racking. Elizabeth Cuneo, an operations manager from Denver, says she's happy that her 15-year-old daughter and their friends sometimes pile their phones together when they hang out. But it's also stressful because it means 'none of the parents can reach the kids,' she says.
She looks for the middle ground wherever possible. For example, her daughter is allowed to take the bus by herself but only to certain agreed-upon places. Her 13-year-old son also knows how far he is allowed to venture off solo.
'We're trying to be more OK with them going within a boundary,' Cuneo says. 'I'm trying to give them freedom within that box, and part of what makes that possible is [knowing] people in my neighborhood. It helps me feel safe.'
Neighborhood watch
Indeed, many say the opportunity to lean on other parents is essential to the success of a '90s kid summer. Jessica Penzari, a publicist from New York City, says that during the school year in the Big Apple, she is watching her 7-year-old son 'like a hawk.' But when the family treks down to Virginia each summer, all the local moms chip in.
'Parents watch out for each other,' Penzari says. 'It's more insulated and slower-paced, so I feel a lot more comfortable letting him walk to a friend's house up the street.'
But just as other parents can be vital to a child's burgeoning independence, they can also interfere with it. Peter Lo, a communications technology professional from the Bay Area, says it can be awkward seeing other parents hovering over his kids, ages 4 and 7, as they play.
'I sometimes think they're judging us,' he says. 'But [kids] need some controlled failure and some degree of risk.'
Penzari agrees, adding that her son needs to develop his own sense of self without mom helicoptering above. 'It's really hard for kids to foster their own sense of self when you're with them,' she says.
What comes next?
One potential caveat of the '90s kid summer: the return to real life in the fall. The start of the school year — with its packed schedules and endless to-do lists — can be dizzying for a child who has spent all summer living a more analog life. Griffith encourages consistency wherever possible to smooth the transition back to school.
'When routines are changed during the summer, it can be difficult to change them back at the start of the school year,' she says.
So maybe a screen-free, low-supervised summer just isn't realistic right now. Or maybe some parts of it are. The most important thing, Griffith adds, is to create a setup that works for your family.
"There is no one right way to 'do' summer,' she says.
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