Neighbourhood News for Langcliffe
On Saturday, May 3, at 7.30pm, David Croll will discuss the RMS Titanic.
Attendees can enjoy a drink on arrival, and donations are requested.
On Sunday, May 4, at 10.30am, a special service will be held to mark the 80th anniversary of VE Day.
On Monday, May 5, a Poppy Pilgrimage to the homes of Jack Hocking, Leslie Benson, Eric Whaites, and Tony Green will take place to remember the Langcliffe Four.
Participants should meet at the War Memorial at 11am.
The VE Day anniversary will be celebrated with a picnic on the Green at 12.30pm, or at the Institute if the weather is wet.
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Yahoo
12-08-2025
- Yahoo
VE Day overshadows VJ Day, veterans' descendants say
VE Day often overshadows VJ Day, descendants of Second World War veterans have said during a screening of their wartime letters. Passers-by paused to watch recordings of loved ones' reading excerpts from the notes at the free installation to commemorate VJ Day. One message, heard at the launch in central London on Tuesday, said: 'I'll think of you wherever you are, if it be near or far. I'll think of you. We'll meet again someday, when dreams come true.' Another line, from a doctor in a Japanese prisoner of war camp, read: 'Our dreams have finally come true. The nightmare is over.' VJ Day on August 15 marks the anniversary of Japan's surrender to the Allies following the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, effectively ending the Second World War. Veronica Silander's father was an RAF airman and prisoner of war in Batavia, now Jakarta in Indonesia, and wrote his letter around two months after he was captured. It was the first message Ms Silander's mother had received from Maurice Read since he was taken and it included the line: 'So once again, do not worry please. I am OK and intend to remain so.' As the letters played on the large screens behind, Ms Silander told the PA news agency: 'The youngsters need to know about (VJ Day), I think it's often in the shadow of VE Day. 'I think probably 80 years, you know, even people like myself are not going to be around that had direct contact with somebody, so I think we should mark it.' She added: 'I think my mother must have been very distressed to know that he was still a prisoner when all the celebration was going on.' Her father rarely spoke about the war but would say 'when you woke up in the morning, you didn't know who was going to be dead beside you'. Ms Silander knows little more than that he trained in Auckland, New Zealand, and was captured two weeks after they were taken to Singapore by sea. Families received leaflets telling them 'do not ask the veterans about the war', she said. 'I think they just wanted them to come home and forget about it,' she added. John Sanderson served with the Royal Navy in the Far East between 1944 and 1946, and his letter to his fiance included the line 'we'll meet again someday, when dreams come true'. His son, Brian Sanderson, told PA: 'My father always said VJ Day was forgotten.' He would tell his wife that while people were dancing on VE Day 'I had kamikaze pilots coming down on me still'. VJ Day was hardly marked until recently, Mr Sanderson said, adding that his parents did not often speak about the war. 'That's the sad thing, is that we never asked them, they never spoke about it, and the stories have gone – I have no-one left from the Second World War,' he said. The installation runs until Saturday at Outernet, near Tottenham Court Road station, and was organised in partnership with the Department for Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS).
Yahoo
24-07-2025
- Yahoo
13 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Classless
Navigating social spaces can be tricky, especially when you're trying to maintain a sense of class and dignity. Sometimes, it's the subtle behaviors that give away a lack of sophistication. Whether it's a seemingly small gesture or a glaring lack of tact, the signs can be quite telling. Here are 13 behaviors that reveal someone might be a little rough around the edges. As you read, consider how these behaviors manifest and if you've encountered them in your own social circles. 1. They Have Bad Table Manners Your dining habits can reveal a lot about your upbringing and social awareness. Poor table manners, like eating noisily or using utensils incorrectly, can be off-putting and suggest a lack of refinement. These habits can distract from the meal and make others feel uneasy about sharing a dining experience with you. Etiquette expert Emily Post's Institute highlights that good manners are about consideration for others and making dining experiences pleasant for everyone involved. Maintaining proper table manners shows respect for your dining companions and the environment. It's not just about following rigid rules, but about ensuring a comfortable atmosphere for everyone at the table. Small gestures, like using a napkin properly or waiting for everyone to be served before starting, go a long way. Paying attention to these details can elevate your dining experience and reflect positively on your character. Practicing good table manners is a simple yet effective way to display class. It's about making the dining experience enjoyable for both you and others. 2. They Disregard Dress Codes Dress codes, whether stated or implied, play an important role in social settings. Disregarding these guidelines can make you stand out in all the wrong ways, suggesting a lack of awareness or respect for the occasion. The way you present yourself speaks volumes about how seriously you take the event and the people attending it. People who value class understand the importance of dressing appropriately and adhering to the expected norms. It's about showing respect for the host and the effort put into organizing the event. Ignoring dress codes can create a disconnect between you and the other attendees, making it difficult to blend in or engage comfortably. Dressing appropriately doesn't mean sacrificing personal style; it's about finding a balance that respects the occasion and reflects your personality. Take the time to understand the context and adjust your attire accordingly. Doing so demonstrates a sense of social awareness and respect for those around you. The right outfit can project confidence and respect, hallmarks of a classy demeanor. 3. They Brag Non-Stop While it's natural to want to share your achievements, excessive bragging can come off as self-centered and insecure. People who constantly boast about their successes often leave others feeling alienated or diminished. This behavior can signal a need for validation or an overinflated sense of self-importance. Instead, people who handle themselves with class know how to share accomplishments modestly and gracefully. They understand that true confidence doesn't need constant affirmation. Bragging can also disrupt conversations, shifting the focus solely onto the bragger rather than fostering a balanced dialogue. To maintain a sense of class, focus on humility and let your achievements speak for themselves. Acknowledge the contributions of others and celebrate their successes alongside your own. This approach builds stronger relationships and leaves a positive impression. Remember, a little humility goes a long way in demonstrating sophistication. 4. They Use Foul Language Language is a powerful tool, and the words you choose can greatly impact how others perceive you. Frequent use of foul language can be jarring and suggest a lack of self-control or respect for the audience. While everyone lets a swear word slip occasionally, excessive profanity can overshadow your message and alienate those around you. People who conduct themselves with elegance understand the importance of articulate communication. They choose their words carefully, knowing the impression they leave behind. Moreover, using foul language can close doors to meaningful conversations and connections. It can make others hesitant to engage with you, fearing discomfort or offense. Instead, practice expanding your vocabulary and expressing your thoughts more creatively. This not only enriches your conversations but also reflects a higher level of intellect and respect for your audience. Mindful language choices are a hallmark of someone who values class. 5. They Don't Listen, They Talk When you're having a conversation, there's nothing more frustrating than being cut off mid-sentence. People who frequently interrupt others often reveal a lack of patience or respect for the person speaking. They appear more interested in asserting their own opinions than engaging in a genuine exchange. According to a study by Dr. Michael Kraus from Yale University, interruptions can also signify dominance and a power play in social interactions. Being mindful of your conversational habits can make a big difference in how you're perceived. It's not just about being polite; it's about showing that you value the other person's voice. When you interrupt, it can make people feel disregarded and unimportant. Instead, focus on listening actively and waiting for the right moment to contribute your thoughts. This demonstrates maturity and respect, qualities that are foundational to maintaining a sense of class. Remember, effective communication is a two-way street. 6. They Complain About Everything Everyone has bad days, but constantly airing grievances can wear thin on those around you. Chronic complainers often come across as negative and ungrateful, casting a shadow over even the most upbeat interactions. This behavior can suggest a lack of resilience and an inability to find the silver lining in situations. It's essential to strike a balance between expressing genuine concerns and indulging in a never-ending gripe session. Try to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems to exude a more positive and classy demeanor. Moreover, constant complaining can be contagious, spreading negativity like wildfire. It can pull the energy of a group down, making social gatherings less enjoyable for everyone involved. Instead, practice gratitude and shift your focus to positive aspects, no matter how small. This change in perspective not only improves your outlook but also positively influences those around you. A positive attitude is a mark of someone who handles themselves with grace. 7. They Overshare Personal Details In an age where sharing is often encouraged, knowing where to draw the line is vital. People who overshare can make others feel uncomfortable, as they divulge personal details better left private. This tendency can signal a lack of social awareness and boundaries, leaving a lasting impression for all the wrong reasons. According to psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, oversharing can stem from a need for validation or a lack of self-awareness. Being discerning about what to share and with whom is crucial in maintaining a sense of class. It's not just about the content but the context and the timing. Oversharing in the wrong setting can make others awkward and hesitant to continue the conversation. It's essential to gauge your audience and the situation before diving into intimate details. Save deeper conversations for trusted friends or private settings, where people are more receptive. Discretion is a key component of sophistication and respect. 8. They're Chronically Late Time is a precious commodity, and chronic lateness can disrupt plans and demonstrate a lack of consideration for others. When you're always late, it sends a message that you prioritize your time over everyone else's. This behavior is not only frustrating but also disrespectful to those who have made an effort to be punctual. People who value class are mindful of their schedules and strive to be on time. It's about showing respect and appreciation for the people you're meeting. Being late occasionally is understandable, but habitual tardiness suggests poor time management. It can strain relationships and paint you as unreliable. To combat this, plan ahead and account for potential delays in your schedule. Being punctual shows that you value and respect the time of others, a key element of maintaining class. Remember, timeliness is a form of politeness that leaves a positive impression. 9. They Miss Social Cues Navigating social interactions requires a keen sense of awareness and the ability to read social cues. Ignoring these signals can lead to awkward encounters and suggest a lack of social finesse. When people miss cues, it can indicate a lack of self-awareness or an inability to empathize with others. Research by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen, a professor at the University of Cambridge, indicates that understanding social cues is linked to empathy and emotional intelligence. Being attuned to the unspoken elements of conversation can enhance your interactions and project class. Recognizing social cues involves paying attention to body language, tone, and context. It's about knowing when to speak up and when to listen, maintaining a balanced and respectful dialogue. Ignoring these cues can lead to misunderstandings and discomfort for both you and others. By honing your ability to read these signals, you demonstrate a higher level of social intelligence. This skill allows you to navigate conversations gracefully and leave a positive impression. 10. They Talk Too Loudly In Public Volume control is essential, especially in public spaces where other people are present. Speaking loudly can be disruptive and draw unwanted attention, making everyone around you uncomfortable. It can come off as inconsiderate and lacking in self-awareness, traits that are far from classy. People who handle themselves with dignity understand the importance of adjusting their volume to suit the environment. It's about respecting shared spaces and those who occupy them. Moreover, speaking loudly can make it difficult for others to focus on their own activities, leading to frustration and annoyance, whether you're on a phone call or chatting with a friend. Maintaining a moderate volume shows consideration for others. It's about blending into the environment rather than overtaking it. Remember, being noticed for your poise and respect is far more admirable than being remembered for being loud. A lower volume often indicates a higher level of sophistication. 11. They Never Say Thank You Gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to show appreciation and respect. Failing to thank others for their efforts or kindness can suggest entitlement or a lack of awareness. Saying "thank you" acknowledges the value of someone's actions and fosters goodwill in relationships. People who embody class make gratitude a habit, understanding its importance in every interaction. It's a small gesture that can leave a lasting positive impression. Thanking others is not just about manners but about recognizing their contributions to your life. Whether through a verbal acknowledgment, a written note, or a simple text, expressing gratitude shows you don't take others' efforts for granted. This practice strengthens relationships and encourages a culture of kindness and appreciation. By making gratitude a regular part of your interactions, you demonstrate thoughtfulness and respect. These qualities are fundamental to maintaining a sense of class. 12. They Speak Ill Of Others Gossip and speaking ill of others can be detrimental, both to those involved and to your own reputation. This behavior suggests a lack of integrity and respect for the privacy and dignity of others. Engaging in negative talk can foster an environment of mistrust and hostility, turning people away. People who value class avoid these conversations, focusing instead on uplifting and positive interactions. They understand that building others up, rather than tearing them down, is a mark of character. Moreover, speaking ill of others often reflects poorly on the one doing the talking. It can create a negative perception and make others wary of confiding in you, fearing they'll become the next topic of conversation. To maintain a sense of class, steer clear of gossip and focus on constructive dialogues. By doing so, you foster an atmosphere of trust and respect, elements that enhance any relationship. Emphasizing positivity and integrity sets a strong foundation for classy conduct. 13. They Dismiss Others' Opinions In any discussion, respecting differing viewpoints is crucial. Being dismissive of others' opinions suggests arrogance and an unwillingness to engage in meaningful dialogue. This behavior can hinder constructive conversations and create a divide between you and those around you. People who embody class value diverse perspectives and approach discussions with an open mind. They listen actively and engage thoughtfully, even when disagreeing. Being dismissive not only shuts down conversation but can also alienate those who wish to share their views. Instead of disregarding differing opinions, invite discussion and seek to understand the reasoning behind them. This openness to diverse perspectives enriches conversations and demonstrates respect for others' experiences and insights. Keeping an open mind and valuing dialogue are key components of classy behavior. By embracing this approach, you foster a culture of respect and inclusivity. Solve the daily Crossword
New York Times
24-07-2025
- New York Times
The Relationship Advice Couples Counselors Swear By
Every relationship is unique — a delicate ecosystem influenced by partners' pasts, preferences and particular foibles. And yet therapists who spend their days talking to couples say they tend to see and hear the same issues come up again and again: Partners who struggle to reconnect after arguments; lose their sense of levity and play; or fall into patterns, without taking the time to understand them. We reached out to several couples therapists, with that in mind, to ask: What's one piece of advice you find yourself repeating? What's one relationship lesson you swear by? What's one truism you wish more couples understood? Here's what they told us. (Let us know what you think about the advice, and add your own in the comments.) 1. Managing your differences is crucial. Many factors determine whether a partnership is a happy one, but the central task of a relationship is learning to manage differences, according to Anthony Chambers, a psychologist and the chief academic officer of the Family Institute at Northwestern University. Dr. Chambers believes that getting good at managing differences — whether over daily annoyances, or bigger expectations, desires and communication preferences — boils down to three things: flexibility, curiosity and humility. Flexible couples 'approach interactions not with the perspective of trying to prove that they are right and their partner is wrong, but rather with the mind set of realizing there are multiple ways we can address our differences,' Dr. Chambers said, adding that partners 'need to keep in mind that there is a low correlation between being right and being happy!' Couples who are good at managing their inevitable differences tend to experience higher relationship satisfaction, he said. Couples who aren't, struggle. It's not the stuff of Hallmark cards, but it is foundational. 2. Bouncing back is a skill. Couples that argue can still be quite happy and connected if they are good at 'repair,' or reconnecting after conflict, said Lauren Fogel Mersy, a psychologist and sex therapist based in Minnesota, and the author of 'Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships.' Repair is all about processing what happened and coming back from it in healthy, effective ways, she said. Her clients often take for granted that they are good at repair, but it is actually a skill people need to learn. Partners have different ways they like to regroup after a disagreement. For instance, do you generally like to take a cool-down break? Does physical touch tend to help or make things worse? Are your apologies genuine and effective? You and your partner might not necessarily need the same repair, but talking about your preferences in calmer moments can help foster understanding when conflict inevitably arises. 3. Feelings > facts. Proving that you're right might feel like a worthy and satisfying goal in the midst of a disagreement. But couples who get overly focused on facts can easily get stuck in an attack-defend pattern, said Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist in Illinois and the author of 'Loving Bravely.' It ultimately serves the relationship more to try to get curious about what your partner is feeling and why they might be viewing a particular situation so differently from you, she said. 'When we focus on the facts, we are primed for debate, it's me versus you,' Dr. Solomon explained. 'When we focus on the feelings, we're primed for dialogue.' 4. Taking turns is an overlooked skill. Parents and teachers spend a lot of time teaching young children how to take turns during playtime and conversation, but couples often forget that very basic skill, said Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Bozeman, Mont., and the author of 'Secure Love.' It sounds simple, but couples who neglect to take turns have a tendency to start talking over each other, Ms. Menanno said. 'Nobody's being heard. Nobody's listening. Everybody's taking the mic,' she said, adding that couples 'get stuck in whose needs matter more and who gets to hurt the most.' Every couple she works with has to learn or relearn how to take turns, Ms. Menanno said. Some basics: Look to have conversations when you're feeling calm and regulated, listen when your partner is speaking and paraphrase what you heard, asking if they want to elaborate. 5. Sliding and deciding are not the same thing. Galena Rhoades, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Denver and co-author of 'Fighting For Your Marriage' (the fourth edition), often reminds couples that there is a big difference between passively 'sliding' into circumstances — everything from how often you have sex to where you want to live — and proactively deciding what is right for the relationship. Dr. Rhoades has found that understanding the difference can be empowering to couples — a reminder that they can be more deliberate about issues big and small, even if they have been doing things a certain way for years. 'You don't have to stay on that kind of coasting trajectory where you're just sliding through things together,' she said. 'You can change your approach and be more intentional.' 6. Happy couples never stop playing together. Play and laughter can soothe the nervous system, helping you cope with stress and bring your best self to the relationship. Those activities can sometimes fizzle out over time between couples, said Stephen Mitchell, a psychotherapist in Denver and co-author of 'Too Tired to Fight.' 'People underestimate the power of humor in terms of helping couples feel connected and helping them work through challenging moments,' Dr. Mitchell said. He often urges his clients to look diligently for opportunities to have fun together. Small things can suffice: send a silly text, cultivate inside jokes or plan a surprise date. 7. You probably already know what to do. If you can get in touch with your genuine wants and needs, you may find the keys to improving your relationship, though it can take real courage to act on them. Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Ore., who runs the popular social media account Therapy Jeff, said that sometimes his job as a therapist is simply to reassure people searching for answers in a relationship that they already know the solution. 'You know if it's working or it's not working,' he said. 'You know what conversations you've been avoiding. You know what you're settling for.' It can help to ask yourself something like: If my best friend or son or daughter was in the situation I'm in now, what advice would I give? (Sometimes, he said, the answer might be: See a couples therapist.) 8. Working on your own stress is a boon for your partner. Going through a rocky stretch in your relationship likely adds stress to your life. But consider the flip side — if you're not managing the stress in your life, it is likely spilling over into your relationship. Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Philadelphia and the author of the book ''Til Stress Do Us Part,' said that when partners don't work to mitigate their own stress, it can cause a relationship disconnect. You become irritable, withdrawn, short with each other. That can lead to more arguments or cause you each to retreat, creating greater emotional distance. Ms. Earnshaw teaches couples a system she calls the stress spillover system. Together, they make a list of stressors, then put them into three baskets: Those they can shed (stressors they can and likely should eliminate), those they can prevent (usually with more planning) and those they can neither avoid nor plan for better, and therefore simply must adapt to. 'When people are mismanaging their stress they are also more likely to become 'self focused,' which means they will think of their own needs and agenda more than their partner's,' she said.
