IYKYK: Here Are the Popular Teen 'Texting Codes' Every Parent Should Know
But even with their impressive acronym cred, parents of today's teens are finding their kids texting in a mix of letters and words that may as well be an entirely different language. (IYKYK, am I right?)
And while most of the acronyms are harmless, some forms of messaging are not. Specifically, 'texting codes' can signal cases of cyberbullying and serious mental health concerns in teens.
Acronyms vs. 'Texting Codes'
While an acronym is the first letter of each word in a phrase, Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer of online safety company Bark Technologies explains texting codes as a combination of acronyms, characters, words, and even emojis that represent hidden meanings. As a result, texting codes can be much harder for parents to understand—which unfortunately is exactly the point.
'Acronyms are [used] for ease of typing, as it's just quicker to tap out 'ILY' instead of 'I love you,'' Jordan says. 'Text codes are different. They can be used to cover your tracks in case someone is monitoring your messages.'
Because texting codes are meant to look like harmless symbols or slang words, parents are more likely to overlook them. For example, parents may not be aware that '🍃' is code for "marijuana", or 'seggs' is a code word for "sex".
With that said, the use of codes can also simply be a way kids choose to connect, explains Erin Walsh, author of It's Their World: Teens, Screens, and the Science of Adolescence and co-founder of Spark & Stitch Institute.
'Texting codes certainly can be used to avoid adult detection of risky behaviors,' Walsh says. 'But they can also just be shorthand ways for young people to build connections with friends and demonstrate belonging to a group.'
Popular Acronyms and Meanings
New acronyms pop up every day, according to Jordan, but here are some of the most common ones used by kids:
BRB - "Be right back"
BTW - "By the way"
FOMO - "Fear of missing out"
GOAT - "Greatest of all time"
GTG - "Got to go"
GR8 - "Great"
IMO - "In my opinion"
ISO - "In search of"
IYKYK - 'If you know you know' (meant to imply that there's an inside joke)
ILY - "I love you"
IRL - "In real life"
JK - "Just kidding"
KMS - "Kill myself"
KYS - "Kill yourself"
L8R - "Later"
LMAO - "Laughing my ass off"
LOL - "Laugh(ing) out loud"
NP - "No problem"
OMW - "On my way"
OFC - 'Of course'
ROTF - 'Rolling on the floor' (typically in laughter)
SMH - 'Shaking my head' ('I don't believe it' or 'that's so dumb')
STFU - "Shut the f**k up"
TBH - "To be honest"
TYVM - "Thank you very much"
WYD - "What you doing?"
WTF - "What the f**k?"
WYA - "Where you at?"
WYD - "What you doing?"
WUF - "Where you from?"
Popular Texting Codes and Meanings
These code-like acronyms have underlying meanings that kids may want to keep hidden:
ASL - "Age/sex/location"
CD9 or Code 9 - "Parents are around"
DTF - "Down to f*ck"
FBOI - "F*ck boy" (or a guy just looking for sex)
FWB - "Friends with benefits"
LMIRL - "Let's meet in real life"
NP4NP - "Naked pic for naked pic"
POS - "Parent over shoulder"
TDTM - "Talk dirty to me"
Concerning Texting Codes Parents Should Never Ignore
Experts agree the rise of acronyms and codes that refer to self harm or mental health struggles is alarming, and they should be taken seriously. In fact, the latest research suggests that social media codes can be used to identify tweens and teens at risk for suicide, which makes it critical for parents to be able to spot concerning conversations. [2]
According to Jordan, these are the codes that should raise immediate red flags if you see them appear in any inappropriate social media posts involving your teen:
KMS - "Kill myself"
KYS - "Kill yourself"
STFU - "Shut the f**k up"
Unalive - "Kill" or "dead"
Sewerslide - "Suicide"
Grippy sock vacation - "A stay in a psychiatric treatment facility"
- "mental breakdown"
I had pasta tonight - "I had suicidal thoughts"
I finished my shampoo and conditioner at the same time - "I'm having suicidal thoughts"
'If someone's commenting 'KYS' on your child's Instagram or texting it to them, it's potentially a sign of bullying,' Jordan warns. 'It could be causing negative effects on their sense of self-worth and their mental health.'
STFU ("shut the f*ck up") can be used as an expression of disbelief between friends, but it can also signal cyberbullying when used publicly on social media.
How to Support Your Teen
Experts give the caveat that simply knowing what these codes mean doesn't always reveal the context in which they're being used. 'A single acronym or code rarely tells the whole story,' Welch says. For example, 'KMS' can signal serious suicidal ideation, but it's also used to describe trivial moments of embarrassment or annoyance in personal text exchanges.
Welch emphasizes continued communication will help you discern between a cause for concern and simply a need for some digital-age skill-building. She suggests the following:
Don't assume the worst. Ask your child for an explanation or background of what you've seen before you launch into a lecture. 'It is okay for there to be long silences as your child sorts through their feelings about online interactions,' Welch says. Their reflection will shed the best light on the meaning behind what you've seen.
Avoid becoming a 'spy.' "A quick 'Gotcha!' reaction to concerning acronyms or codes can create confusion, increase conflict, and may even encourage more secrecy as teens try to avoid adult surveillance and punishment," Welch says.
Let your child know you're there to help. Receiving text codes related to self harm or suicide can raise a host of difficult questions for teens, Welch says. For example, 'Is my friend serious?' 'Should I talk to someone about this?' or 'What should I do next?' Reassuring your child that you are there to support them will foster honest conversations to determine next steps.
Read the original article on Parents
Solve the daily Crossword
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
CBS News
10 minutes ago
- CBS News
Monroe County man lands record-breaking flathead catfish
A Newport man has landed a new state record for a flathead catfish, the Michigan Department of Natural Resources reported. Codie Carlson was bowfishing early in the morning of June 29 at Plum Creek in Monroe County when he took in the fish that weighed 64.46 pounds and measured 45 inches. "I thought I was about to shoot a channel catfish for dinner. Turns out, I guess we do have flathead catfish in these waters," Carlson told state officials. Carlson's catch soundly beats the previous state record size for that species – a flathead catfish caught in 2022 on the St. Joseph River in Berrien County. The 2022 fish, caught by Lloyd Tanner of Hobart, Indiana, was 53.35 pounds and 43 inches in size. DNR fisheries biologist John Buszkiewicz, who works out of the Michigan Department of Natural Resources' Lake Erie Fisheries Management Unit, did the verification. It's likely that Buszkiewicz and his crew noticed Carlson's fish when conducting a survey in 2020 at that location. At the time, the DNR said, a flathead catfish weight 55 pounds and measured 43 inches. Michigan's state records for fish are recognized by weight. Those who catch a potential state record fish should contact a DNR fisheries biologist as soon as possible and follow the listed procedures for check in. The fish must exceed the currently-listed state record for that species, be weighed on a certified commercial scale, and verified by a DNR fisheries biologist. The state records for this and other fish in Michigan can be found at the DNR's Master Angler website. This flathead catfish is the only current record-holding fish out of Plum Creek. The other record-holder fish found in Monroe County is a bigmouth buffalo caught in 2020 in Lake Erie.
Yahoo
37 minutes ago
- Yahoo
A pilot made sharp turn to avoid a B-52 bomber over North Dakota, then took to the mic to explain
BISMARCK, Neb. (AP) — The pilot of a regional airliner flying over North Dakota carried out an unexpected sharp turn and later apologized to passengers, explaining that he made the move after spotting a military plane in his flight path. The Friday incident is detailed in a video taken by a passenger and posted to social media as Delta Flight 3788 approached the Minot International Airport for landing. In the video, the SkyWest pilot can be heard over the plane's intercom system explaining that he made the sharp left turn after spotting a B-52 bomber in his flight path. 'Sorry about the aggressive maneuver. It caught me by surprise,' the pilot can be heard saying on the video. "This is not normal at all. I don't know why they didn't give us a heads up.' SkyWest, a regional carrier for Delta and other large airlines, said the flight had departed from the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport and landed safely in Minot after performing a 'go-around' maneuver when another aircraft became visible in the SkyWest plane's flight path. Minot is 100 miles (160 kilometers) north of Bismarck, North Dakota's capital city, and about 50 miles (80 kilometers) from the Canadian border. The Federal Aviation Administration said in a statement that it's investigating the incident. SkyWest said it is also investigating. In the video, the pilot noted that Minot's small airport does not operate radar and directs flights visually. When the airport tower instructed the SkyWest flight to make a right turn upon approach, the pilot said he looked in that direction and saw the bomber in his flight path. He informed the tower and made a hard left instead, he said. 'I don't know how fast they were going, but they were a lot faster than us,' the pilot said of the bomber. The North Dakota incident comes nearly six months after a midair collision between an Army helicopter and a jetliner over Washington, D.C., that killed all 67 people aboard the two aircraft. Minot Air Force Base is about 10 miles (16 kilometers) north of Minot, North Dakota's fourth-largest city. The base is home to 26 B-52 bombers, intercontinental ballistic missile operations and more than 5,400 military personnel. An Air Force spokesperson confirmed Monday that a B-52 bomber assigned to the base conducted a flyover of the North Dakota State Fair on Friday and that the Air Force is 'looking into' the report of a bomber and a commercial airliner operating in the same airspace around the Minot airport. The pilot's frustration is evident in the video. 'The Air Force base does have radar, and nobody said, 'Hey, there's a B-52 in the pattern,'' the pilot told passengers. ——- Beck reported from Omaha, Nebraska.
Yahoo
41 minutes ago
- Yahoo
14 Things Dysfunctional Families Normalize That Healthy Families Don't
Navigating family dynamics can be a complex journey, especially when you're trying to discern what's considered 'normal.' Every family has its quirks, but some behaviors and patterns are more damaging than others. Dysfunctional families often normalize things that can be confusing or even harmful, and it's not always easy to see when you're in the middle of it. This list will shed some light on these behaviors, helping you recognize what might be a red flag. Let's dive into 14 things dysfunctional families often see as normal, but healthier families would avoid. 1. Having Zero Boundaries In some families, personal boundaries are routinely ignored or dismissed, leading to a sense of intrusion. You might find that your privacy is not respected, with family members walking into rooms without knocking or reading your messages. This lack of boundaries can create an environment where you feel like you have no personal space. According to family therapist Dr. John Smith, boundary violations can lead to increased anxiety and a feeling of being constantly on alert. A healthy family, however, understands and respects each person's right to privacy and personal space, fostering trust and individuality. In contrast, healthy families teach the importance of setting and respecting personal boundaries. They encourage open conversations about what makes each person comfortable and work together to honor those needs. This respect for boundaries builds a foundation of trust where everyone feels secure and valued. It's not about putting up walls but about fostering a respectful environment. You might notice that in healthier family dynamics, members rarely, if ever, feel the need to tiptoe around each other emotionally or physically. 2. Emotionally Neglecting Each Other Emotional neglect can be a hidden issue in many dysfunctional families. It occurs when a family consistently fails to respond to your emotional needs, making you feel unseen or unheard. You might find it hard to talk about your feelings because you've been conditioned to believe that your emotions are unimportant. This can lead to internalized feelings of worthlessness or emotional suppression. In a healthier family environment, however, emotional awareness and expression are encouraged, teaching you that your feelings matter. Healthy families prioritize emotional support, providing a safe space to express emotions without fear of judgment. They are attentive to changes in mood and behavior, offering help and support when needed. This nurturing approach creates an atmosphere where each member feels valued and understood. Instead of dismissing emotions as inconvenient or burdensome, healthy families see them as integral parts of human interaction. This understanding and empathy help foster stronger, more supportive relationships. 3. Constantly Criticizing Everyone In dysfunctional families, you might notice that criticism is rampant and often harsh. This kind of environment can make you feel like you're never good enough, chipping away at your self-esteem over time. Constant criticism is often disguised as 'constructive feedback,' but it can become toxic when it's relentless and unkind. This can lead to long-term self-esteem issues and may contribute to anxiety and depression. In healthier family dynamics, feedback is given with empathy and support, aiming to encourage rather than belittle. Healthy families focus on positive reinforcement and constructive criticism that empowers rather than diminishes. They create an environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth rather than occasions for ridicule. This supportive approach helps build confidence and resilience, encouraging members to learn and improve. Encouragement is a key factor, as it fosters a sense of self-worth and capability. In these families, the focus is on building each other up, not tearing each other down. 4. Avoiding Arguments Or Conflict Dysfunctional families often fall into the trap of avoiding conflict at all costs. You might find that issues are swept under the rug or ignored entirely, leading to a buildup of unresolved tension. This avoidance can make it difficult to address problems openly and can result in passive-aggressive behavior. Sweeping problems under the rug might seem like a way to maintain peace, but it often leads to more significant issues down the line. In a healthier family, conflict is addressed calmly and directly, allowing for resolution and understanding. In contrast, healthy families approach conflict as a natural part of life that can be resolved through communication. They encourage open discussions where everyone can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of retribution. This openness helps to resolve issues before they escalate, reducing long-term tension and fostering understanding. By addressing conflict head-on, these families learn to navigate disagreements productively. This proactive approach encourages a more open and honest relationship among family members. 5. Not Communicating A lack of communication is a hallmark of dysfunctional family dynamics. You might find that important conversations are avoided, and assumptions are made instead of clarifying misunderstandings. This lack of open dialogue can lead to feelings of isolation and confusion about what's expected of you. According to communication expert Dr. Emily Greene, clear and consistent communication is crucial for a healthy relationship, as it fosters trust and understanding. In healthier families, communication is open, honest, and ongoing, allowing everyone to feel heard and appreciated. Healthy families prioritize communication and make sure that everyone feels included in the conversation. They create an atmosphere where questions are welcomed, and misunderstandings are clarified without judgment. This transparency helps prevent miscommunication and fosters a sense of unity and support. By encouraging open dialogue, these families ensure that all members feel valued and understood. This strong foundation of communication strengthens relationships and builds trust over time. 6. Enabling Dysfunctional Behavior Dysfunctional families often enable negative or harmful behaviors without realizing the long-term consequences. You might see a pattern of excusing or ignoring behaviors that are damaging, such as substance abuse or manipulation. This enabling can create a cycle where issues are never truly addressed, perpetuating the dysfunction. It's often easier to turn a blind eye or make excuses than to confront the problem head-on. However, healthier families recognize the importance of addressing these behaviors directly and constructively. In a healthy family environment, negative behaviors are addressed openly and with the intent to find a solution. They establish clear boundaries and consequences, encouraging accountability and personal growth. This proactive approach helps break the cycle of enabling, fostering a more supportive and responsible family dynamic. By addressing issues head-on, these families work towards resolution and healing, rather than allowing problems to fester. This commitment to growth and improvement helps cultivate a healthier, more stable environment for everyone involved. 7. Putting The Blame On Others In dysfunctional families, there's often a tendency to assign blame whenever something goes wrong. This blame game creates a hostile environment where you might feel constantly on edge, worried about being accused. It's a defensive mechanism that shifts responsibility away from oneself and can lead to resentment and tension. According to family therapist Dr. Linda Johnson, constant blame can erode trust and weaken relationships over time. In healthy families, accountability and understanding take precedence over finger-pointing. Healthy families focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame. They approach mistakes as learning opportunities and encourage taking responsibility without shaming or blaming. This focus on accountability helps build trust and fosters a supportive environment where everyone feels valued. By promoting understanding and empathy, these families strengthen their relationships and work towards collective growth. The shift from blame to accountability leads to healthier dynamics and more constructive interactions. 8. Being Emotionally Manipulative Emotional manipulation is a subtle yet pervasive issue in many dysfunctional families. It can manifest in various ways, from guilt-tripping to gaslighting, leaving you feeling confused and powerless. This manipulation often stems from an imbalance of power and a need to control the family's emotional landscape. Over time, it can erode self-esteem and create a cycle of dependency and guilt. In contrast, healthier families prioritize honesty and transparency, fostering an environment where manipulation has no place. In a healthy family setting, emotional honesty and integrity are valued above manipulation. Family members strive to communicate openly, addressing issues directly rather than resorting to underhanded tactics. This transparency creates a stronger foundation of trust and mutual respect, promoting healthy interactions. By rejecting manipulation, these families encourage genuine connections and a sense of emotional safety. The result is a more supportive and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. 9. Playing Favorites Favoritism is a common issue in dysfunctional families, leading to feelings of resentment and inadequacy. You might notice that one family member receives more attention or praise, creating a divide among siblings. This unequal treatment can breed jealousy and competition, damaging relationships and self-esteem. It's often an unintentional behavior, but the impact can be long-lasting and deeply hurtful. Healthier families strive to treat each member with equal love and attention, fostering a sense of fairness and unity. In a healthy family dynamic, effort is made to celebrate each person's unique strengths and achievements. They recognize the importance of treating everyone with fairness, avoiding comparisons that can lead to rivalry and resentment. This focus on equality helps build a supportive and cohesive family unit, where everyone feels valued. By acknowledging and appreciating individual differences, these families cultivate a sense of belonging and respect. This approach fosters healthier relationships and a stronger sense of family unity. 10. Not Showing Support In dysfunctional families, you might find that support is often lacking, leaving you feeling alone in times of need. This lack of support can manifest in neglecting to attend important events or failing to provide emotional or financial backing when necessary. It can create an environment where you feel undervalued and overlooked, impacting your self-worth and sense of belonging. In contrast, healthy families prioritize being there for one another, offering support in various forms. This support creates a strong foundation of trust and reliability that strengthens family bonds. Healthy families understand the importance of showing up for each other, both physically and emotionally. They make an effort to be present during significant moments, offering encouragement and assistance when needed. This sense of support fosters a nurturing environment where everyone feels safe and valued. By being reliable and dependable, these families build a network of trust and loyalty. This supportive dynamic encourages each member to pursue their goals and dreams, knowing they have a strong safety net. 11. Being Overly Controlling Dysfunctional families often struggle with issues of control, where one or more members exert excessive influence over others. This over-control can stifle individuality and lead to feelings of resentment and rebellion. You might feel like you're constantly being monitored or that your choices are being made for you, leaving little room for personal growth. In healthier families, there's a balance between guidance and autonomy, allowing each member to flourish. This balance fosters independence and self-confidence, promoting healthier relationships overall. Healthy families encourage autonomy while providing guidance and support when needed. They understand the importance of allowing each member to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences. This approach helps build confidence and a sense of personal responsibility, empowering everyone to grow and thrive. By respecting each person's individuality, these families create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected. This balance between support and freedom strengthens familial bonds and nurtures personal development. 12. Having Blurred Roles In dysfunctional families, roles and responsibilities can often become blurred, leading to confusion and stress. You might find yourself taking on responsibilities that don't belong to you, like acting as a parent to your siblings or managing household issues beyond your capacity. This can result in feelings of overwhelm and resentment, as the lines between family roles become increasingly unclear. In contrast, healthy families maintain clear and appropriate roles, ensuring everyone knows their responsibilities and has the support they need. This clarity helps create a more organized and harmonious family environment. Healthy families emphasize the importance of clear and defined roles, ensuring that responsibilities are distributed fairly and appropriately. They foster an environment where everyone understands their part and respects the boundaries of others. This structure helps prevent confusion and conflict, promoting a more efficient and supportive family dynamic. By maintaining clear roles, these families encourage cooperation and teamwork, creating a more balanced and harmonious environment. This clarity fosters a sense of stability and security, allowing everyone to thrive within their roles. 13. Not Resolving Trauma Dysfunctional families often struggle with unresolved trauma that affects their interactions and relationships. This trauma can manifest in various ways, such as emotional outbursts, avoidance behaviors, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. You might find that past issues are rarely discussed, leading to a cycle of repeated patterns and unresolved tension. In healthier families, there's a focus on healing and addressing past traumas to prevent them from dictating present behavior. This proactive approach fosters healing and growth, allowing for more positive and supportive relationships. Healthy families recognize the importance of acknowledging and addressing past traumas to move forward constructively. They prioritize open discussions and seek professional help when necessary to work through these issues. This commitment to healing helps prevent the past from overshadowing the present, promoting healthier interactions and relationships. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, these families create a space where healing and growth can occur. This focus on resolution and healing strengthens family bonds and encourages a more positive outlook. 14. Lack Of Fun Dysfunctional families may overlook the importance of having fun and enjoying each other's company. You might find that family gatherings are tense or filled with conflict rather than laughter and joy. This lack of fun can create a disconnect and make family interactions feel like a chore rather than a pleasure. In contrast, healthy families prioritize spending quality time together, creating opportunities for fun and bonding. This focus on enjoyment fosters positive relationships and a sense of belonging. Healthy families understand the value of shared experiences and prioritize activities that bring joy and connection. They make time for family outings, game nights, or simple shared meals, creating a space where everyone can relax and enjoy each other's company. This emphasis on fun helps strengthen family bonds and creates lasting memories. By cultivating a joyful and loving environment, these families encourage positive interactions and a sense of togetherness. This focus on enjoyment and connection enriches family dynamics and promotes overall happiness. Solve the daily Crossword
