Rob Beckett: ‘I've done a lot of therapy… I had incredibly low self-worth'
How do famous names spend their precious downtime? In our weekly My Saturday column, celebrities reveal their weekend virtues and vices. This week: Rob Beckett
6am
Weekends are all about the kids and are planned like a military operation. My wife Lou does more in the week than me, so I tend to take the lead on a Saturday. The kids [two girls, nine and seven] come in and are allowed to play on their iPads until 7.30. We've also trained them to let the whippets Fred and George out for a wee. We have a little Nespresso machine in the bedroom, so we'll treat ourselves to a coffee.
8.30am
I take the girls to their clubs – gymnastics, football or drama. If it's football, I'll stay and watch. I'm very laid-back, but inside I'm screaming, 'There's a bit of space there, get to it' – but I don't say it out loud. I focus my energy on slagging off other parents I don't like with parents I do like. If it's not football, I'll go for a walk or to Tom Allen's for a cup of tea.
11am
After the clubs we'll go to the local café. It's one level up from a greasy spoon but one level down from Gail's.
12.30pm
I take the kids swimming, or we do admin jobs. Last Saturday I had to collect some rupees as I'm going to India to film Rob & Romesh Vs Bollywood.
3pm
I used to be terrible at sitting still, but I've got much better at meditating, breathing and calming myself down. After 37 years of having only negative voices in my head, it's felt quite alien to have some positive ones in there, but it's a huge relief.
4pm
I'll spend some time reflecting on being in a better space. I've done a lot of therapy, and the short story is I had incredibly low self-worth for a number of reasons, and I replaced that lack with the reaction of a crowd, which made me feel important and special and powerful – but then when I didn't do well, it made me feel weak, useless and rubbish, so my life was very up and down. I was running on a poverty mindset, but I've now realised that I have self-worth within me as opposed to the bloke who goes out and tells a few jokes.
5.30pm
The day will be totally reconfigured if there's a good football game on. I like to get all my good parenting done before 5.30 so I can watch that game. If Arsenal score, I'll do a little fist pump. If Tottenham or West Ham concede, I'll get on WhatsApp to wind everyone up.
7pm
Food is very fluid at the weekend so we might prepare a Sunday roast on a Saturday evening, but if friends are coming round, I can't be bothered to make it a big deal, so we'll get a takeaway. I'm out a lot during the week so I'm happy for Lou to go to the theatre in the West End on a Saturday night and I love just being at home with the kids. We'll watch Gladiators and The Masked Singer.
8.30pm
The kids will have a bath then we play a game called Trap, where I lie on top of them, and I have to hold them both before they escape. It's like low-grade jujitsu.
9.30pm
If Lou's at home, we'll watch a bit of Below Deck or The Real Housewives and have a glass of red wine. If not, I'll settle in and watch sport on my own – football, boxing, UFC, whatever's on.
11.30pm
I can't sleep until Lou gets home. I feel like a bit of a protective dad. We track each other's phones so when I see she's approaching Orpington station I'll book a cab for her. I'm terrible at getting to sleep so I'll either read a comedy biography – I'm reading Judd Apatow's book – or a book on stoicism before I finally conk out.
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