"You Are The Reason That People In Our Community Don't Feel Safe": Reneé Rapp Went Off At People Getting Upset That She Identifies As A Lesbian Now Instead Of Bi
Reneé Rapp is firing back at those who criticized her sexual identity journey, after confirming she's a lesbian.
When she came out as bisexual in 2020, Reneé received both praise and ridicule. Many fans celebrated her as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, while others questioned if she was queerbaiting. Despite it all, she's always openly and proudly shared her love for women.
Fast forward to January 2024, the "Tummy Hurts" singer made her Saturday Night Live debut, where she served as the show's musical guest, and even made a guest appearance in a sketch called "Entertainment Tonight Lip-Readers." In the skit, Reneé was introduced as the "little lesbian intern." Coming out as a lesbian on SNL was a last-minute decision for her. In an interview with Them, she revealed the script originally said "little bisexual intern," but she asked the writers to make the change, despite being nervous about how viewers would react.
'They were so sweet," Reneé told Them. "And obviously, they were going to be so sweet. But to me, I was thinking about being so afraid to publicly change my identity. I didn't want anybody to be upset with me," she said of the experience. Reneé, who'd essentially been unofficially crowned as a bi-icon on the internet, was hesitant about switching the label publicly, fearful doing so would "make bisexual people feel shitty," and that referring to herself as "gay" would prompt backlash from fellow queer people who felt like she was inappropriately using the label. "I felt so wrapped up and scared."
That same year, Reneé went public with her relationship with fellow singer Towa Bird. They walked the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty red carpet together in March 2024.
But that same fear Reneé had about people responding negatively to her lesbian identity back in 2024 became a reality in 2025. The former Sex Lives of College Girls star took to Instagram Live to vent her frustrations regarding some of the backlash she's received.
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"Did you not fucking hear me when I just said I'm a lesbian? When I said I'm a big, bad, fucking lesbian?" Renee asked on Instagram Live, per Reddit. "Did you not just fucking hear me? Did you decide to stop listening in that moment? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up."
"Here's why I'm fucking pissed: You are the reason that people in our community don't feel safe coming out and changing and evolving. That is the reason why. We got a lot of other people who are fucking us up, but I'm saying in our community, if you don't allow people to change and to evolve and grow and grow into themselves — I'm so sorry, I grew up in the South where...let me stop myself because I will start crying. I grew up in the South, where you don't do that."
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Reneé then admitted that she felt like she "had to be bisexual" because it was more digestible and acceptable for others if she still assumed a "closeness" to heterosexuality and men.
"I felt like for so long I had to be bisexual because I had to assume closeness to a sexuality that could lead to being with a man," she continued. "That is something that I struggled with for such a fucking long time. So for you to get in your fucking comments and in my fucking comments and say that it's not fair that I decided to start identifying as a lesbian because you didn't like the fucking way I went about it...Fuck you! Fuck you!"
"I'm glad that you felt comfortable in your sexuality your entire life. I'm glad that you felt like that, truly. I'm so glad. I wish that I had that when I was growing up, but I didn't. It pisses me the fuck off, because that is why people don't feel the validity to change and to grow and to grow into themselves. Everybody grows up in a different way. Everybody comes out in a different way. We hit, like, a second puberty. If you're gay, sometimes you find your people later on in your life, and you grow into yourself. Allow people the space to grow and change and to move forward and to identify how they want."
"I have so many of my friends who later on in life, have come into their gender, have come into their sexuality, have changed their sexuality — God forbid I decided that I was a lesbian. God for fucking bid! There's a lot of stuff you can play with me on. Don't play in my face about that. Don't fucking play in my face about that."
Reneé went on to reveal that when she has kids, she won't tolerate anyone being an "asshole" to her children if they were figuring out their sexuality as well. There was no hint of humor in her voice either — she was not playing.
"Do not make people in our own community feel unsafe to be themselves," Reneé added. "We are too close to pride month for you to piss me off like that. I'm not playing about that. That is one comment that irks me to my core. It makes me feel sad and it makes me feel insecure, because that's something that I had to deal with for such a long time in my life, and so many people do."
"Just please, for the love of God, let people be. I get it, this is our identity, right? It is a sacred space. It is special. It is exclusive in so many ways, but you gotta let people be. You gotta let people be. You got to."
Honestly, good for her. Sexuality isn't always as black and white as people may think. Allowing people to discover themselves in all facets of life is a part of growing. To hear more from Reneé, you can watch her full response here.
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