RIP Bob Jones

Kiwiblog

02-05-2025

Bob (Sir Robert) Jones has died aged 85. Bob was one of my favourite authors growing up, and I was fortunate enough to get to know him quite well in recent times. His larrikin sense of humour will be sadly missed – we need more in his mould.
In 1973 he published a book called 'The first twelve months : a study of the achievements of the third Labour government in 1973'. It was 100 blank pages.
Later on he put up a pole in Wellington measuring the credibility of the Government. Every few weeks he would lower it. Then he started digging a hole. Finally he wrote to the Mayor of a city in Spain that is opposite Wellington and asked them to put up a pole there as the credibility had dropped so much, it had burrowed through the planet.
Other stunts includes the many humorous billboards such as 'Mat Rata reads comics' and gatecrashing an interview with Bill Rowling with a human sized mouse.
He was a supporter of Muldoon but then became an implacable opponent as Muldoon went interventionist. His New Zealand Party in 1984 played a role in defeating the Muldoon Government. Later on though Bob organised a surprise farewell dinner for Muldoon as he was preparing to leave Parliament, as he was outraged no one else was doing anything.
I have read every single one of his books (and have many signed editions). My favourites by far were his 'Letters' which were sidesplittingly funny as he dealt out humour and generosity to nuns and others. His letters to Sir Ron Brierley as a 'gravely concerned shareholder' (he had one share) were especially great. Also great were his letters with the Secretary of Transport over his speeding tickets and his reference to various officers as 'Moustached dwarves of indeterminate gender'. The Secretary made the mistake of asking if he could just refer to them as Officer X, and Bob replied that he doesn't called the garbage collector 'Garbage Collector X' and as that his a similar status to a traffic officer, why would he call them Office X.
I first met Bob in person in 2005. I was involved with the campaign against the Electoral Finance Bill that could have criminalised sending an e-mail that discussed policy. A colleague was meeting Bob to see if he was interested in relaunching the New Zealand Party with the sole purpose of repealing the law. Bob had some questions on the proposed law, and I was the expert on it so around 2 pm I got a phone call asking if I could pop over and join the meeting.
14 hours later at 4 am I staggered out of his building, having drunk more wine than I thought was possible. I lurched into the nearby petrol station and wolfed down a pie, as the 14 hours of talking and drinking with Bob involved much wine but little food.
Since then I've been a guest at his house (his parties are legendary – as is the view), and even helped him set up his own blog. I managed to hide from him that I was once a scout leader (he viewed them all as clones of Bill Rowling) but he still managed to find many things to hassle me about over the years.
In recent years I would often see him at the Taxpayers' Union office as he was their landlord. He would often sit down for drinks with the staff, and provoke various degrees of outrage and amusement from them. He loved to be provocative, but it was never in a nasty way. It was always with humour.
New Zealand is the better for Bob Jones. He contributed so much in business, in politics, in sports (boxing) in literature and in humour.
He will be greatly missed, and I hope his style of irreverent humour will not pass away with him.