These 6 Tiny Body Language Clues Could Indicate Your Partner's Not That Into You

Yahoo

4 hours ago

You can try to bury your emotions as much as you like, but even when you try to hide them, your true feelings come out through your body language, experts say.
'It's very difficult to separate emotions from body language, because they're connected. They kind of go together like peanut butter and jelly,' said Blanca Cobb, a body language expert who has a master's degree in psychology.
For instance, when you're happy, you likely show it even more than you say it — whether that's by smiling, giving someone a high five or throwing your hands in the air, Cobb added. 'We show our body language in how we feel. It's just innate,' said Cobb.
In any relationship, body language can tell you a lot about how each person feels, and while this is valuable in all relationships, it's especially important in romantic partnerships, particularly when you're afraid your partner is feeling a little iffy about your connection.
First, you need to understand what's normal body language for your partner.
Before trying to read anyone's body language, you should first know what their baseline behavior is, said Cobb.
'You have to figure out how they typically behave because we're not model copies of one another,' Cobb noted.
'One person naturally might be more gregarious than another person. Another person, naturally, might be more reserved ... but we have to understand their baseline behavior to know when we see changes in behavior,' she said.
For instance, it could be totally normal for one couple to never kiss in public, while it could be a sign of turmoil for another pair.
Context is key, added Karen Donaldson, a body language expert and author of 'Speak Like You Breathe: Straight Talk To Say What You Mean, Be Heard & Get Noticed.'
'All of these gestures should be read in comparison with their normal [behavior] patterns,' Donaldson also stressed.
When you do start to analyze your partner's behavior, 'you want to look at the gestures in clusters,' Donaldson noted.
Meaning, one day of fewer hugs than normal isn't necessarily a bad sign, but if that's paired with other concerning body language changes, you should take notice.
Below, body language experts share the red-flag movements and behaviors that may signify that your partner isn't that into you.
1. Too Much Space Between You When You're Sitting Or Standing
It may seem fairly obvious, but paying attention to how close your partner is standing or sitting from you is a good way to decipher how they're feeling.
'Typically, if you care for somebody, you want to be in close proximity,' said Patti Wood, a body language expert in Georgia. '[The] intimate zone of space is, right now in American culture, zero to 16 inches,' she added.
In a relationship that isn't so healthy, someone may spend less time than usual in this intimate zone of space or avoid it altogether, noted Wood.
'The smaller the gap between the two of you, the closer you are to one another,' said Donaldson, referring to emotional distance and physical distance.
If someone doesn't want to be physically close to you anymore, it can be a sign that their romantic feelings are dwindling, Donaldson added.
2. An Unhappy Resting Face
The face someone makes when they're resting, whether that's while zoning out in the living room or mindlessly washing the dishes, tells you a lot, Wood said.
'You'll suddenly notice your partner has a facial expression that seems like they're upset, or seems like they're mad, and it may be brief or it may sit on their face, and they will make excuses — 'Oh, I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm not tense,' but the face just can't help [but to] indicate that they're not pleased in your presence,' Wood said.
This is typically an indication that there isn't a lot of hope in the relationship, added Wood.
'That's hard to shift and change ... and yet, when people see it in a relationship, they can discount it by saying, 'Well, there's bad things going on in the world,' or 'You've had a bad day,'' she said.
In happy relationships, folks have a content resting face, Wood said. In fact, it's highly unusual for someone to have a less-than-joyful resting face in a happy relationship, Wood noted.
3. A Lack Of Eye Contact
Changes in eye contact are something else experts say you should pay attention to. Specifically, if someone is maintaining less eye contact than usual, said Donaldson.
'Some people say that our eyes are the windows to our soul,' Donaldson noted.
'A lack of eye contact or avoiding eye contact altogether can signal that a distance in your relationship is forming — an emotional distance,' she said.
Eyes can also show sadness and disinterest in a relationship, said Donaldson.
When someone cares for you, they want to extend eye contact, make eye contact and just enjoy looking at you, Wood added.
'Eye contact is so connected to arousal and attraction. It's one of those things that you extend eye contact to say, 'I'm sexually attracted to you,'' explained Wood.
'When somebody gives you extended eye contact, you're more easily sexually aroused,' Wood said. But, when that eye contact stops, it's a way of saying, 'I don't want to have sex with you,' Wood noted.
4. A Lack Of Touch
'People who care about each other find multiple ways to touch one another — holding hands, rubbing each other, a fleeting touch of the face — you want to gauge this in comparison with how they previously [touched] you,' said Donaldson.
If your partner used to touch you a lot, but no longer does, it could be 'a sign of unhappiness and emotional withdrawal,' Donaldson explained.
'We have multiple nerve endings in our hands, specifically our fingertips, and as humans express affection through touch, these nerve endings signal feelings of comfort, pleasure and security,' she said.
5. Short Hugs And Side Hugs
For many couples, hugging is a daily occurrence that happens before someone leaves, when someone gets home or after a tough moment.
Donaldson noted that hugging is also a key area to assess when it comes to happiness in your relationship.
You should notice how your partner hugs you, she said. 'If it's no longer chest-to-chest [or] heart-to-heart, this can signal a [waning] of romantic feelings,' Donaldson said.
A side hug or a quick lean-in hug are signs that your partner isn't feeling as loved-up as they used to, she noted.
6. Pointing Their Toes Away From You
'Out in the world, one of the signs that ... they are leaving the relationship, or want of out of the relationship, is they will point their toes away from you rather than towards you when you're out as a couple,' Wood said.
Normally, happy couples sit or stand with their toes pointed toward each other for most of the time they're out, Wood noted.
'Maybe not for the whole evening or the whole event, but there will be times when they will point their toes towards each other, which is indicating 'we are a unit. I want to be seen with you as your mate,' and close off other people from invading that or breaking that up,' Wood explained.
This is a natural movement that happens without thought — and the same goes for the opposite, pointing toes away.
While these body language changes can be bad signs, they aren't always about you.
'Nonverbal behavior typically is subconscious, and so it's a very honest indicator that something's not right,' said Wood. But you shouldn't jump to conclusions and assume the change is totally about you or totally beyond repair, said Wood.
'It doesn't necessarily mean that it's the end of your relationship,' added Cobb.
Maybe your partner didn't give you as many hugs today because of a bad work meeting or a flat tire on their drive home, Cobb noted. Or maybe their body language has shifted because of something you unknowingly did, Cobb added.
'That's why it's so important to become a detective, not an interrogator — an interrogator is someone who just asks question after question after question. You kind of feel bombarded, and then people get defensive,' Cobb said.
Instead, you can become a detective to figure out what happened, what changed and why, Cobb said. That way, you can have a discussion and work to repair things if that's the goal for both people.
'If you think about jobs, you get this feedback every six months to a year about how your behavior is,' said Wood. This may result in extra training or a refocus of energy to change behaviors. This type of review, generally, doesn't happen in a romantic relationship, but it should, Wood noted.
Regular check-ins about changes in body language can help keep your partnership happy and healthy.
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