4 simple goals to make your marriage easier and help you love your spouse for life

Fox News

09-02-2025

National Marriage Week started Friday and runs through Valentine's Day. In a society that often makes fun of the institution of marriage, this week is designed to shift the negative narrative and instead celebrate marriage.
While most people want to get married, research indicates they worry that their relationship won't last. They think marriage is hard. And why wouldn't they? That's the message society sends them.
This belief is leading to a growing hesitation toward marriage. In 1980, 90% of 35-year-old men were married. Today, according to the Institute for Family Studies, this number has dropped to just 60%.
Yet most of us deeply desire to love and be loved – to know that love will last. Most of us want a family and a safe, healthy home. So how do we get there?
At a time when stress, anxiety and division seem to dominate American culture, people need something positive and hopeful to aspire toward. Our home life affects everything we do and everywhere we go – from our jobs to our emotional well-being.
A strong, loving marriage creates stability, not just for the couple but for children, work environments and entire communities. When marriages are loving and steady, families become a source of joy and strength – creating a society that is not only healthier, but also more compassionate and better equipped to handle life's challenges.
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National Marriage Week's spokesperson, Arlene Pellicane, just released a book that speaks directly to this issue. Her book, "Making Marriage Easier; How To Love (and like) Your Spouse For Life" launched on Feb. 4. Pellicane says that if couples prioritize four intentional goals, they can build a happier, stronger marriage. By focusing on positive, practical steps, marriage can be the fulfilling and fun relationship so many desire.
So what are those four simple goals?
What's your goal as a couple? Is it prioritizing church together on Sundays? Avoiding close friendships with the opposite sex? Sitting down for dinner as a family each night? Establish and agree on clear priorities and boundaries together.
Be grateful for each other and express it! Find things to appreciate about your spouse and say them out loud. Every spouse wants to feel appreciated and valued.
Shift your mindset from What can they do for me? to What can I do for them? Thoughtful gestures – big or small – strengthen the bond. And when both partners serve each other, both feel more connected, respected and treasured.
Fun is what brought you together in the first place! Laughter and shared experiences are vital to a growing and healthy marriage. Don't let the years dull your sense of playfulness. It can be as simple as making a heart-shaped pancake or trying a new hobby like painting together. Struggling couples often aren't having fun together.
Like with anything worthwhile, marriage takes effort. Every couple faces ups and downs. But imagine a nation filled with stronger and happier marriages – homes where children feel safe and secure, knowing their parents aren't going anywhere.
According to a study by economists David G. Blanchflower and Andrew J. Oswald (Journal of Public Economics), having a job increases happiness by 50%, and an above average income boosts it by 88%. But marriage? It increases happiness by 151% compared to never being married.
Stronger and happier marriages don't just benefit couples – they strengthen cities and communities. Research consistently shows that stable homes lead to lower crime rates, fewer troubled teens and less incarceration.
Who wouldn't want that?