Slingers Cocktails are big, slightly concerning
I love a good king can. Especially if it's filled with a truly stupid malt beverage.
Slingers only hits one of those targets. It offers classic cocktails 24 ounces at a time, promising a one-stop shop to point your boat toward Drinkin' Island for the night. At eight percent alcohol by volume (ABV), it should only take a couple cans to bend your reality toward a more pleasant state.
The options are all drinks you'd find at a beach bar. I drank them on a two degree Wisconsin night. It may have impacted my review. Let's begin.
Bahama Mama: C-
It pours with a light level of carbonation, which is a bit surprising — my limited experience with this beach drink was decidedly un-bubbly. It also looks like a blood orange variant of Fanta, which is… slightly concerning?
It smells fruity and, undeniably, boozy. There are no ingredients on the can, just the promise of 'malt beverage,' which sets a ceiling on this but doesn't mean it won't be good — just that it won't have clear, distinct cocktail flavors.
Despite the bubbles, it's very light on carbonation. It's a bit thick as it leans into the fruit juices of the cocktail that inspired it, it's not as dense as you'd think on your tongue. Not seltzer-light, obviously, but not a soupy, sticky mess either.
There's a mélange of anonymous tropical fruit — orange, pineapple — but a current of coconut lingers throughout each sip. Despite the eight percent ABV, it's not very boozy at all. This dense, syrupy fruit justifies that light carbonation. If not for that, this would be sloppy and sweet at the end of each gulp. The bubbles help it finish a bit more cleanly and up the replay value.
Which is a good thing, because it comes in a 24 ounce can. That's a lot of beverage for a drink that's very sugary sweet and loaded with juicy flavors. I'm only a few sips in and I'm getting a bit tired of it.
Being in a king can means it warms up quickly, which isn't a point in its favor. This isn't beating the allegations that high-booze drinks in big cans are a bit janky. It's fine, just not something I'd seek out.
Pineapple Punch: B-
This also pours a dense chemical color and with a light carbonation floating skyward. That makes more sense here, since pineapple punch usually has ginger ale/Sprite/whatever in it. It smells remarkably like the Bahama Mama.
In this case, having one dominant flavor is a plus. Rather than the muddled tropical fruits of the last can, this is focused pineapple. It's sweet but not as sticky as the Bahama Mama. It's also got a bit more boozy flavor toward the end of each sip. It feels like vodka but it is probably closer to the neutral spirits you'd find in a mass produced canned cocktail. Which, again, is fine if unremarkable.
That boozier finish actually makes it a bit easier to drink, or at least come back to. While the last can was sweet upon sweet (and dense), this has a little bit of sharpness that snaps off each sip a bit more cleanly. That said, 24 ounces of this is still *a lot.*
Peach Screwdriver: B-
The sound of cracking the king can is wonderfully satisfying. A loud, metallic thud. The pour itself is not; all three of these look like something that leaked from a neon bar sign. It's *so* much.
We're on now to Peach Screwdriver, which I always assumed was just a fuzzy navel with stronger booze in it. As expected, it smells like gummy rings and a little bit of alcohol. For a drink that's just peach there's more depth than I thought I'd get. It starts sweet and a little boozy before taking a swing toward tart while leaning into its carbonation for a solid finish.
That makes it more refreshing than the other two. It also holds up better when warm. But also, it's 24 ounces of peach. That's a lot of peach. Too much peach.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I'm drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That's the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm's. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Slingers over a cold can of Hamm's?
There's a benefit here. You're getting a lot of booze in a can that, again, I truly enjoy holding and sipping from. If I was late to a tailgate and needed to gas up quickly? Sure. But for the most part, no.
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USA Today
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Newsweek
08-08-2025
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USA Today
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