Revealed: Britons' most hilarious public transport stories - from puking 'upwards' on the tube to falling into strangers' laps
Public transport is one of humanity's greatest inventions and millions of people rely on it every single day.
Unfortunately, one of the many downsides to using public transport is that the opportunity to embarrass yourself while surrounded by strangers is ever present - as an unfortunate commuter recently discovered.
A Reddit user turned to the forum for comfort after she became violently sick on the Tube during an incident that left her 'utterly mortified'.
The 37-year-old admitted she had drunk two glasses of prosecco on an empty stomach, but did not expect the alcohol to affect her as badly as it did.
She wrote: '15 years being a model passenger, always let people off before getting on, kept my headphones in and my backpack off, gave up my seat where needed.
'I even worked as a tour guide for five years and loudly told my group (and anyone else who could hear) to always stand on the right.
'And now this. Gutted.
'I'd had two glasses of prosecco on an empty stomach, so some alcohol but not enough to do… that.
'A lovely lady tried to help me whilst chucking my guts up on the floor and I lied and said I was pregnant (god knows why), she must have been horrified because I'm sure it all smelt of alcohol.'
Not wanting to suffer from embarrassment alone, she then asked other Redditors to share their own public transport horror stories - and likely felt relieved after reading some of the responses.
Many people commiserated with her and shared their own queasy stories involving being sick on public transport, whether it was due to motion sickness or being drunk, pregnant or ill.
The top comment on the thread revealed a nightmarish experience one person had after fainting at Euston station.
'I was on my way home from rush hour and, long story short. Got to the platform at Euston, fainted, as I was coming back to I got hit with a surge of diarrhoea and vomit all at once while surrounded by a group of people trying to help me,' the user wrote.
Those responding declared they would 'fake my own death' or be 'genuinely traumatised' if such a thing were to happen to them.
Another recalled a time when pregnancy sickness hit them hard while travelling on a bus.
'Was eight and a half months pregnant wearing a skirt and boots combo. Had to get off the bus to be sick and ended up weeing all down my legs every time I retched. Into my boots.'
One particular horrific yet amusing story left readers 'howling with laughter' after a Redditor described how they become sick while riding the District line.
They explained thy had been a 'bit drunk' and had been fighting the urge to throw up until 'one shaky moment tipped the scales against my favour and I knew it was coming'.
But instead of stepping out of the train to find help from Transport for London staff or be sick on the platform, they came up with what can only be described as a terrible idea.
In their drunken state, they decided the best way to try and stop themselves from throwing up was to 'stand as straight as possible with my mouth pointing upwards'.
It wasn't their 'best plan', they admitted, as they inevitably threw up - all over themselves.
As a 'last ditch line of defence', they also 'cupped both hands over my upwards-facing mouth'.
'The result was as you'd imagine,' they continued. 'I think I cleared my entire half of the carriage.
'The sound alone was horrific, it was like someone was pouring a bucket of porridge into an electric fan.
'It's the only time in my life that I had to wipe vomit from my eyes afterwards, and finding even an inch of clean sleeve to do so was an impossibility.'
The story left readers in stitches and 'crying laughing' at the author's drunk logic.
Thankfully, not all the stories involved puke.
Falling over on public transport also ranked highly in people's embarrassing moments.
'A few years back I hadn't got my tube legs yet, the train came to a sudden stop and I did a full superman dive down the middle of the seat part of the carriage,' one person wrote.
'Amazingly everyone on both sides put up their hands and caught me collectively. Hideously embarrassed, all I managed to say was "Good job team!" and ran off the train.'
Another recalled: 'I have a condition that makes me lose balance. Before it was so bad that I can barely use public transport, I fell trying to navigate getting past someone and gave an older gentleman an unsolicited lap dance.
'I'm still really, really, really sorry about that.'
One person wrote about a time everyone in their Tube carriage could hear a suspiciously 'loud, pulsing, buzzing sound' coming from their duffel bag.
They had packed a weekend bag and were on the Tube with their headphones on when they noticed people started looking at them.
It was only when their music ended did they realise the reason behind the awkward looks.
'It was my toothbrush. I ostentatiously took it out of the bag to switch it off, trying to show as many of my carriagemates as possible that it was, in fact, my TOOTHBRUSH DAMMIT.'
In an update to the post, the original Reddit user thanked everyone who contributed their horrifying stories.
'Some of these stories made me proper giggle, some of them I probably shouldn't have read while my stomach was quite so distressed.
'All of them made me happy to call London home.'
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Independent
31 minutes ago
- The Independent
Body found by police investigating disappearance of woman
A body has been found by police in the search for a Colombian woman who disappeared after leaving her east London home. Yajaira Castro Mendez, 46, was reported missing to the Metropolitan Police on May 31 having left her home in Ilford on the morning of May 29. Her family has been told about the discovery of the body, which was found during searches in Hampshire's Bolderwood area on Saturday, but formal identification has yet to be made. Detective Inspector Jay Gregory, who is leading the investigation, said: 'This is a very sad development in the investigation and our thoughts are very much with Yajaira's family and friends at this incredibly difficult time. 'We continue to appeal to anyone with information that could assist the investigation to please come forward.' A post-mortem examination has yet to take place. The police said a man who was known to Ms Castro Mendez appeared in court on Friday charged with her murder and was remanded into custody. Her disappearance was initially treated as a missing person investigation led by local officers. The investigation was then transferred to the Met's Specialist Crime Command on June 5, after a range of extensive further inquiries suggested she had come to harm. Police were at a scene in Gray's Inn Road, Camden, on Friday as part of their investigation.
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
British businessman accused of spying for China reported to a Red Army agent with close ties to Chinese president Xi
A British businessman accused of spying for China reported to a high-ranking intelligence officer closely linked to President Xi Jinping, The Mail on Sunday has learned. John Miller, who the MoS last week revealed was the subject of an FBI sting operation, was arrested with his 'handler', Cui Guanghai, just hours before they were due to board a flight to Beijing. Both men are accused of trying to buy weapons and sensitive military technology in the United States for the People's Liberation Army. This newspaper can now reveal that Cui, 43, is an Edinburgh University graduate suspected of working for China's military intelligence and described as 'important' to President Xi. Court documents claim Miller, a 63-year-old recruitment specialist from Tunbridge Wells, was 'working for and being directed by' Cui. The two men were once pictured together in London 's Chinatown. Other images on social media show Cui and his wife at locations in Edinburgh, Dublin and London, including the Houses of Parliament. Britain's security services are understood to be liaising with the FBI, examining both Cui's activities in the UK and Miller's background. Last night Miller's sister Avril said: 'I am totally devastated and shocked, but it has nothing to do with me. I last saw him at a wedding 14 years ago.' The MoS revealed last week that Miller was caught on intercepted phone calls referring to Xi as 'the boss', suggesting he was acting under the control of the Chinese government. Now it can be disclosed that Miller once accompanied Cui on a business trip to Colonel Gaddafi-era Libya, a country with close economic ties to China. A family friend said: 'He [Miller] told me he was starting a business building prefab houses for Africa which he was having made in China.' The detention of Cui and Miller in Belgrade, Serbia – where they remain under house arrest – is believed to have led to a diplomatic row. China's ambassador to Serbia, Li Ming, is said to have clashed with the country's interior minister, Ivica Dacic. A source said Mr Li demanded to know why Cui – whom he called 'our agent' and 'important' to President Xi – was arrested at the behest of the FBI. China is the biggest foreign investor in Serbia. Miller and Cui were seized at the city's Hyatt Regency Hotel on April 24 having flown in from Hungary where they met business associates – and apparently fell into an FBI trap. Sources say agents waited for Cui to leave China for Europe before issuing the arrest order. Both men now face extradition to the US. It is not clear how Cui and Miller first met. The Englishman once ran a company bringing Chinese students to the UK, while his son from his first marriage has been based in China for years and is a close friend of Cui. Court documents claim Miller organised the surveillance and harassment of a Chinese-American artist critical of Beijing, telling a henchman to make him an 'offer he can't refuse... like The Godfather'. Miller has been charged in the US with smuggling, stalking and violations of the Arms Export Control Act. If convicted, both he and Cui face up to 40 years in prison. A 14-page indictment filed in Wisconsin alleges that Miller was caught in a sting after arms dealers he was negotiating with turned out to be undercover FBI agents. Family and friends of Miller, who described him as outgoing and charismatic, expressed astonishment at the news. The son of a builder from the Gorbals in Glasgow, Miller grew up one of six children on a council estate in Coventry, sharing a bedroom with his three brothers. A family friend said he had 'a real drive about him and was always looking for the next big thing'. They added: 'He had a hard time growing up and was driven by success. He wanted a nice life; he wasn't going to stay on a council estate. Eight of them in a three-bed house wasn't easy. And then their mum died when she was only 43. That was tough for all of them. Of them all, Johnny was a bit different, a one-off. 'He always had big ambitions.' Miller went into the Armed Forces, becoming a boxer representing the Royal Navy. It was during this time he met his first wife, 'a Puerto Rican beauty', with whom he had two children. They lived in the US, where Miller retains residency status, but later divorced. His daughter from his second marriage attended one of England's top public schools. Friends describe a chequered business history. Miller has been a director or a majority shareholder of at least nine firms, including a courier company. 'When I last saw him at a wedding over ten years ago, he was flying,' said a friend. 'His company had bases in London and New York, and he drove a nice Saab.' But at some point his fortunes waned and he was reduced to asking family and friends for loans. 'I think he saw an opportunity in China,' said another friend. 'He was hyperactive when it came to work.' The US court documents allege that Miller attempted to procure equipment including surface-to-air missiles, predator drones and a handheld device for the secure communication of 'classified and sensitive national security information'. A second 67-page indictment, filed in California, accuses Miller and Cui, also known as 'Jack', of targeting artist Hui Bo, who had created an 'embarrassing' sculpture of Xi and his wife Peng Liyuan naked from the waist up. Transcripts between Miller and an associate allege they discussed shooting Hui or hitting him with a baseball bat.
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
Four hundred rookie Marines made to do gruelling 'mud run' after around a dozen fellow recruits are caught stealing from the camp's self-service canteen
It is the kind of old-fashioned discipline that was thought to have disappeared from even our elite Armed Forces. But in a move hailed as a blow against modern ' woke ' culture, the entire contingent of trainee Royal Marines has just been forced to crawl through mud to pay for the 'sins' of a handful of their colleagues. Hundreds of rookie commandos were ordered to do the Marines' 'mud run' after only a dozen or so fellow recruits were caught pilfering the camp's canteen. The run involves crawling through foul-smelling silt outside their training base in Devon in an exercise so gruelling that some ex-commandos thought it had been abolished. But defence sources confirmed last night that around 400 fit and able recruits had undergone the mud run. A source told The Mail on Sunday: 'They were putting stuff through the self-service canteen checkout without scanning some items and the mass mud run was ordered as a result.' But far from criticising the 'mass punishment', current and former Marines heaped praise on commanders at the Commando Training Centre at Lympstone. One former commando said: 'This has gone down very well after decades of suffocating 'woke' culture in the Forces.' A source at the base said: 'This was a big call by the CO and, quite frankly, all the instructors welcomed it. Those people who were caught stealing didn't just let themselves down – they let their mates down. 'The vast majority of those who faced the mud were innocent but this sends a message to all that theft will not be tolerated.' Former Defence Minister and ex-regular Army captain Tobias Ellwood said: 'At first glance, this collective punishment may seem excessive. However, this is the military – not civilian life. 'Fighting units, especially elite forces like the Marines, function best when there is absolute trust and discipline within the ranks and loyalty to the team. They train as one and fight as one, and such punishment reinforces their cohesion and unity.' Commanders were understood to have been furious at the thefts, regarded as one of the worst offences in the Marines because it undermines the integrity of their 'corps ethos'. However, last night, defence sources said that officers in charge at Lympstone regarded the incident as closed, with no further action to be taken against the offending trainees.
